Erick:

:: Stares at Pete with a creepy unblinking glance ::

Hi.

= = =

Pete:

Erick, I’m not sure who has the creepy unblinking glance. Is that me or you? (o:

Hi.

 

= = =

 

Erick:

 

😮

 

>:o

 

You are trying to seduce me!!

 

Pete. Pete I am auditioning girls to be Bort’s girlfriend. Pete, are you a girl interested in my son? He is a bachelor. I am also looking for a suitable doctor with experience in the homosexual-vaccines field to cure Bort of his disease.

 

= = =

 

Pete

 

If you have read my story, Umbrella Incident (at https://imagine-magazine.org/im-online/library/), you will know that I have two neph-. er… nieces, yeah, nieces, living at my house and they would be the perfect companions for Bort. Like Bort, they have interesting names (for girls), Mike and Tim. I think they would be prefect companions for your son. Perhaps we could schedule a play date so the little ragamuffins can meet and become close friends. Mike and Tim have been working with a doctor who administers something called “roofies” to them and when the kids come home from the doctor’s office, they are docile and sleepy. I think it works great! Would you like the doctor’s name?

 

= = =

 

Erick:

 

😮

 

Tell more…

 

= = =

 

Pete:

 

Mike and Tim are in their second year at Lombard High school. They both like boys, so Bort would be a perfect fit, so to speak. Their parents were killed in the nuclear devastation at Raccoon City, and I took the boys in and adopted them. Well, since Mike is my sister’s kid, I adopted him- er… her. Tim is the child of my best friends, the Bennetts. Now that they are gone, I became Tim’s foster father and soon he’ll be my adopted child. They like computer sites that have interesting stories, like GA. I think that stands for Georgia, so it’s probably headquartered there. Those little dickens are always talking about the boys they know and who they love. I’m sure Bort will have a hard time picking a favorite. Will you be sending his crate by train or air? Either is OK, it’s just the train station is on the other side of town from the airport. I can’t wait for Bort to arrive! I bet Mike and Tim have him acting like the man you want him to become in no time at all! (o:

 

= = =

 

Erick:

 

You seducer!!!!!

 

Erick-Pooey

 

= = =

 

Pete:

 

Silly! Pooey said “traditionally”, not always. How long have you had trouble understanding English? I spelled it the American way so you wouldn’t get confused. It sounds like you did anyway. *sigh*

 

By the way, your battery is getting low!

= = =

 

Erick:

 

>:o NUUUUUUUUUHH!!!

 

You big meanie!!

 

= = =

 

Pete:

 

I have to go to the store to get something for our supper. By the way, does Bort have any dietary restrictions? My two kids can (and usually do) eat anything. I’ll be back in an hour. Let me know when to expect Bort to arrive. I was just thinking, I could have Comsie come over, too, and he can mow my lawn and visit with Bort and my kids. He likes Mike and Tim. He can tell you all about them. (o:

 

= = =

 

Erick:

 

NUUUH!!! You are trying to seduce my son with your boys!!! I knew it all along!! You cannot deceive me!

 

Bort is being shipped to the Academy.

 

= = =

 

Pete

 

Poor Bort, getting stuck with all those priests in their 60s and older. That should be cruel and unusual punishment… but I guess it’s not really that unusual, just cruel. )o:

Published June 1, 2012

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