I’m not sure about you, but I love underwear. There’s something magical about it. It’s the most private piece of clothing there is. Honestly. You don’t get much more personal than clothing that touches your unseen regions at all times… unless you’re a commando person. Commando’s okay on occasion, but 99% of the time, if you’re not wearing underwear, I’m going to have a sad.
What is it that I like about underwear? Well, everything, of course. Strangely enough, however, I’m not a fan of kinky underwear or lacy or skimpy or ‘sexy’ underwear. I very rarely find it sexy. I like your basic underpants. Briefs, trunks and boxer-briefs are the best. Bikini briefs and boxers tend to be circumstantial and depend heavily on the wearer and occasion.
Now let’s talk about brand. It’s important. It’s the first thing you see when catching a glimpse of someone’s underpants because it’s always found on the waistband. Some of my favourite brands don’t always have to do with the brand itself. It’s the font used and how it stands out. Like Hanes uses a great font, which they often display in a contrast colour to the waistband. See Exhibit A below for a fantastic example:
As you can see, on the right side of the waist, the “Hanes” brand is clearly marked, despite the fact that the actual fabric, as well as waistband, is black. This forces your eyes to take instant note of their label so that the next time you’re looking for underwear, you remember this sexy beast and buy yourself the same ones. It doesn’t matter if you’ll never look as good wearing them as the sexy beast above. It’s the memory of what you saw that drives you, right? It’s almost like you’re wearing his underwear. And it is a glorious feeling.
Wow. Perv much? Sheesh.
Still looking at Exhibit A, I would like to point out the “peeking” of the underwear. The way it is done is important. It must be casual. Like an “oops!” or something that goes unnoticed. It can’t be the purposeful and dreaded “sag”. That was an awful style and should never be used. A key reason to this is it encouraged everyone to start wearing ugly looking boxer shorts. If people want to show their underwear, they shouldn’t want to hide the fact that they are wearing underwear by wearing boxer shorts. It’s counter-productive.
If done correctly, the accidental sag can be one of the most glorious sights you’ll ever see.
Next up, we have the shirt without pants. I’m not sure where to start with this other than to just straight out drool. If there was a line between cute and drop-dead-sexy, this would be it. There’s something so brilliantly beautiful and instantly arousing about a boy wearing a shirt, no pants, and his underwear. Boxers just won’t do in this occasion. They’re too… they’re just not right. For this look to be at it’s best, the boy must either be wearing briefs or trunks. Boxer-briefs could work, too; however, the legging has to be snug against he leg. None of that loose, sagging, wobbly-leg junk. Boxer-briefs should hug a boy’s thighs. That way, if you’ve stumbled upon such a sight on an extremely fortunate day, the leg might just ride up a tiny bit. And the view is astonishing!
Of course, even if the leg is riding upwards, even just a little, so long as they are holding the thighs like they should, you’ll have absolutely no regrets.
Let’s go back to brands, because I touched on this briefly but ran off with another thought. Some of my favourite brands are, of course, Hanes, Fruit of the Loom, GAP and Dickies. I mean, come on? Dickies? You know what your’e getting with that, right? And GAP? They have this beautifully bold waistband that’s a bit larger than most other brands. Something about that extra half-inch’s height on a waistband really makes them pop, and if you’ve ever worn GAP underwear, the waistband is really comfortable.
Obviously, there are tons of other really great brands out there, but in order to keep this article and article, and not a 100, 000 word book, I must refrain from going into too much depth.
Speaking of depth, colour is also an important factor. I love colour, but I’m not a fan of random patterns. If there’s a pattern, it can’t be psychedelic, like tie-dye. Colours like that annoy me. I’m not sure why, but they do. What I do like, though, is contrast. For example, if there’s a red waistband and blue fabric? That’s usually hot. Actually, if the waistband is coloured, and the fabric is white or black, that’s a really big plus for me. It adds depth without being too distracting. Because, obviously, and as wonderful as underwear is, we’re only really enjoying it because of what’s underneath.
And that, my friends, is where we’ll end for this month.