*** ~~~ Bobby ~~~ ***

It was about eight o’clock in the evening and Nick and I were just sitting down cuddling on the couch starting to watch ‘Queer as Folk’ on television when we heard the doorbell ring. We looked at each other trying to see if either of us were expecting anyone. I could see by his expression, and he probably could from mine that neither of us were.

I got up from the couch and went to the door to answer it. When I opened it I was in for a complete surprise. Standing at my door, almost literally hat-in-hand was my father. We stared at each other for a moment before he spoke in a tone I don’t think I’d ever heard from him before. Almost as if he were unnerved by me.

“May I come in?” He asked.

“Sure Dad, Please.” I replied. Once in the door he did something else that I don’t remember him doing since I was very young. He hugged me. I began to worry at that point.

Once we’d released each other from the embrace, I escorted him into the living room. I saw a guarded yet equally shocked expression on Nick’s face as my father took a seat in a recliner adjacent to the couch and I resumed my place next to Nick.

Dad looked around the room, trying to find his voice, I think, and said, “You two have a beautiful home. I’m sorry I haven’t been here before. Nick, Bobby, I owe you both an apology. I acted horribly that night. I guess I didn’t realize what was truly important. That my son deserved to be happy with whomever he was happy with. I allowed prejudice and my pride to get in the way. I’m truly sorry and I hope you can accept my apology.”

Being the sweetheart that Nick is, he replied for both of us, “We’re just glad you are here now. I’m willing to put the past behind us and move on. Bobby has told me on many occasions how sorry he is not to have you in our lives. You were a model father to him up until that night. He told me so many times how he wanted to be there for you when his mother died, but the first move needed to come from you.”

Dad choked back a sob and stood, “Nick, may I hug you, please?”

Nick stood and approached my father who wrapped him in his arms and literally broke down into sobs on my husband’s shoulder. Nick rubbed his back and spoke softly to him in his ear, words that I couldn’t hear but knew what he’d said.

After a few moments they broke the hug and Dad resumed his seat. Nick said he was going to open a bottle of wine and asked if either of us wanted any. We both nodded and Nick asked, “White or red?”

“Baby, why don’t you open that bottle of blush we got, I think that would suffice for either choice.” I said, receiving a nod from my father. Nick went to get the glasses and bottle along with the corkscrew, returning a few minutes later.

Expertly removing the cork, he poured a small amount into a glass and handed it to Dad who after smelling and tasting said, “This is good. Thank you.” Nick then proceeded to fill Dad’s glass, then one for me and finally his own. Again, we resumed our seats.

During the next several hours we caught up on our lives. Dad was quite impressed with how I’d handled my life since he wasn’t part of it. He even told me how angry he was at me when I headed him off at the bank regarding my trust fund, but, in the end, he was actually proud of the fact that I’d kept my head even though he was acting like an ass… his words, not mine, he said my message was clear when I’d left that six hundred dollars and some in the account.

In retrospect, he said, that he was even more proud of the fact that I’d stood my ground when he called me the next day. He deserved every word.

At the end of the evening the proverbial hatchet had been buried. I had my father back. I had Nick. I had almost everything I needed for my life to be complete.

Over the next year or so, Nick and I tossed an idea back and forth. We wanted to adopt. We went to several agencies, but none were willing to allow a gay couple to adopt, regardless of the fact that we qualified in every other area.

One night when we’d invited Dad to dinner, Nick made mention of this and Dad got that look in his eye.

*** ~~~ Trevor ~~~ ***

 

I wasn’t sure I’d heard the announcement right, why would I be called to the placement office? I’m thirteen, nobody adopts a thirteen year old. Let alone if they knew my secret. Nobody knows. I’m totally scared shitless of someone finding out. But, sure enough they repeated the announcement, “Trevor Matthews, please report to the placement office.”

As I was on my way, I was joined by Ricky and Albert, two more thirteens. In the orphanage we all refer to each other by age. But once you turn twelve, you’re pretty much guaranteed that you’ll live here until you’re eighteen and you age out. I looked at the other two and they seemed as surprised as I was. We weren’t permitted to speak to each other once called.

We arrived at the office and entered together. Nervously I looked around for our prospective parents, but all I saw was Mrs. Granger sitting at her desk and two young looking guys in the waiting room. I hope this isn’t some stupid college guy interview thing, those are totally stupid.

We sat on the bench against the wall waiting for Mrs. Granger to talk to us. We all knew the punishment for talking out of turn, automatic elimination from possible consideration. In other words, an end to our chances of parole from this dungeon they call a home.

It’s not all bad. Some of the staff really do care, but to most we’re just things to be managed, which actually means bossed around. The food is good at least. We’re not really mistreated in any way, but we’re not allowed outside the grounds. Our days are not our own. It’s all scheduled. I’m sure if they could they’d schedule when we can take a leak!

Finally, Mrs. Granger must have finished her crossword puzzle because she looked over her glasses and tried to smile. Her smile was really scary. She had these yellow teeth and it looked like she would be drooling if she’d allow herself to.

“Boys,” she said, “today is possibly your lucky day. We’ve had a request to adopt an eleven, twelve, or thirteen. The elevens and twelves have all been here already, and whereas one is still in contention, the clients wanted to meet you. But, before we get started and I introduce you to them, I have to ask you all a question. What would you think about being adopted into a family with two fathers?”

Albert, stupid as he was, said, “You mean by a couple fags?” Like I said, stupid.

“Thank you, Albert, you may go.” That was all Mrs. Granger said. Albert just got up and left without a word.

“Now, Ricky, what do you think?” She asked.

Ricky was one of the smart ones, but he’d only been with us about a year. I think there was some nasty shit that happened between him and one of his mom’s boyfriends. He looked up at Mrs. Granger and in a shaky voice said, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Granger, I don’t think I could do that. I’ll just go now if I may.”

Mrs. Granger actually looked like she was sad for him and softly said, “Thank you for being honest, Ricky, you may go.”

He got up and left, then Mrs. Granger turned to me. “Trevor?”

“I wouldn’t mind. Two fathers might be fun!” I replied. I thought that maybe my secret wouldn’t be a problem if I lived with them. Mrs. Granger then opened the door and invited me into the waiting room.

I entered the room wearing my cutest smile. Yes, I’d practiced in front of the mirror for hours over the years. Mrs. Granger introduced me to who could be my new dads. Wow, two dads, that actually sounds kinda neat. She said, “Trevor, please say hello to Mr. Robert King and Mr. Nicholas Peterson.”

I looked at these two guys and figured they couldn’t be much older than twenty two or three. I thought them kind of young to be adopting, but their clothes said they had money. I knew that from looking at shows on TV and reading magazines. I turned to each one of them and offered my hand. “Hello Mr. King, hello, Mr. Peterson, it’s so very nice to meet you both.”

The darker haired man, Mr. King, took my hand and held it, looking me in the eyes and said softly, “Hi Trevor, and please, call me Bobby, and it’s very nice to meet you too.” It felt kinda weird having him look at me like that, it was as if he were trying to read my mind the way his green eyes stared at me.

After what seemed like an hour, but was only a few seconds, he smiled at me. He released my hand and the other one took it in much the same manner. His hand was softer than Mr. Bobby’s, his hair was lighter, almost tan, but still brown. His eyes, oh man, his eyes, they were like the most beautiful marbles I’d ever owned. They were blue, with flecks of green. He smiled at me and I held his hand tighter, I felt for some reason, I never wanted to let it go.

“Trevor, you are a very handsome young man, and very polite, please call me Nick.” I didn’t want to let go of his hand and I felt kinda funny. There was that feeling in my stomach that I’ve been getting lately and for some reason my weiner was getting a little stiff. Why would that be happening? I mean he’s like ten years older than me, now if he were my age, maybe, but… I just don’t understand it.

They asked me all kinds of questions about myself, what I liked to do, did I have any friends here, things like that. Things that so many other possible parents have asked. We had talked for a good thirty minutes, when they asked if Mrs. Granger could leave the room so they could ask me a few things that I might not want to talk about with her there.

At first, she said she wasn’t allowed to do that, but Bobby spoke to her quietly. I couldn’t hear what he said, but after a moment, Mrs. Granger just left the room, looking kind of angry. They sat on the sofa and asked me to sit between them. They turned so they could both see me, then Nick asked me a question. “Trevor, do you know what it means when someone says they’re gay?”

I looked at him and I knew. I had to have him as one of my parents. Something about him, I just can’t tell what. I’m having feelings going through my head that I really can’t understand. I looked at his face, then noticed that Bobby had moved behind Nick so he could see me too. When did he get up?

“Um… yeah… it’s when a boy likes boys instead of girls.” I replied innocently, I’ve really learned ‘innocent’.

You see, in the orphanage, older kids, elevens, twelves, and older, like me, only get adopted by how well they learn to make potential parents want them. So, we kind of learn how to convey certain traits that most parents are looking for. Face it, we’re a product in a store, and prospective parents are shopping for the perfect son or daughter. I’m old enough to understand that, and it’s okay. Really.

“That’s right, Trevor, very good. Now, how do you feel about that?” Bobby asked me. Don’t get me wrong, I kind of liked Bobby, but Nick, oh my God, Nick, I was feeling things that went way beyond liking him.

I don’t know what came over me but the words left my mouth without my even thinking them, I’m sure I blushed when I said it, I had to have blushed, but, I told him, “I… I… I better not hate them since I think I’m one of them.”

They turned and looked at each other. Then turned back at me. Ignoring my admission, Nick asked me, “Trevor, we wanted you to know that Bobby and I are gay. We’re a couple, and we’d like to adopt a son about your age. How would you feel about having two dads instead of a mom and dad?”

“Honestly, I think I’d like it better that way.” I told them without using one of my practiced expressions.

They turned to each other, but didn’t say anything. It was like they were having an entire discussion with just their eyes. After a few seconds, Bobby got up and went into the office to talk to Mrs. Granger.

“Trevor, we both like you. We like you very much. How would you feel coming to stay with us for a few days? See if it’s a place you’d like to live, and if we all get along?”

Oh wow! They don’t ask that unless they want to adopt you! I never thought this would happen. Tears started welling up in my eyes and I couldn’t help myself, I threw myself at Nick and hugged him with all my might. I sobbed on his shoulder, “I… I… I… I think I’d love that!”

He held me as I cried, rubbing my back for a moment, then chuckled as he held me at arm’s length. “Why are you crying, Trevor?”

I sniffled a moment and he handed me a handkerchief so I could wipe my nose and eyes. I turned to him and said, “I never thought I’d hear those words. I’m sorry for crying. But you made me so very happy asking me that.”

He pulled me into another hug and at that moment, I vowed to make these two guys my dads. I would do anything to make that happen. Then a very scary thought came into my mind. I had to ask them, I just hope they don’t get mad at me for thinking it. “Um… Nick?”

“Yes, Trevor?” He replied. Oh GOD I love his voice.

“You guys don’t want me because I said I was gay so you could do stuff with me, do you?” I asked sheepishly. I don’t understand when I learned ‘sheepish’.

He looked at me with a shocked expression. Damn! That’s never good. But his answer reassured me, “Oh Trevor! Heavens no! We want to have you come visit, but not so we can abuse you. I’m sorry if we gave that impression, but, you must understand that just because someone is gay, doesn’t mean they want to have sex with any male. I love Bobby, and he loves me, and we only have sex with each other. I know you’re going through a confusing time, and I can tell you like me in a kind of special way and I’m flattered. But that is definitely not our intentions, nor would it happen.” Then he hugged me again. Oh, how I loved his hugs already.

I sat back on the couch and looked through the glass at Bobby and Mrs. Granger who seemed to be arguing. All of a sudden, Mrs. Granger stopped talking and her eyes bugged out before she closed them, her head tilted down, then she nodded. Bobby’s head turned to look through the glass and our eyes met. I knew then that he was a man not to get on the bad side of. He felt powerful where Nick felt… not weak, but… I dunno, not as powerful?”

Mrs. Granger got on her telephone for a few minutes, then stood and came back into the room with Bobby. “Trevor, You will be going home with Mr. King and Mr. Peterson for a few days. This is not permanent at this point, strictly a trial placement. Do you want to go with them?”

“Oh yes Mrs. Granger, I really really want that!” I gushed. This is weird, when did I learn to gush?

“Ok, Trevor, go to your room and pack enough clothing for three nights. Today being Friday, you will go with them for the weekend, and they will return you not later than two o’clock on Monday afternoon. Make sure you pack anything you might want to take.”

I really didn’t want to leave because I was afraid this was all a dream, and if it was I never wanted to wake up! But I did leave, and walked back to my room where my two roommates were sitting. I went to the wardrobe and pulled out my small suitcase for the first time since I’ve been at the orphanage. When I did the other two stopped their conversation.

Alex the ass, as I called him, stood and stared down at me, he was a year older and about three inches taller than I. “Where do you think you’re going?” his tone was confrontational.

“I’m going for a visit with my new prospective parents for the weekend.” It felt good to say that.

Roger, my best friend here looked at me with a shocked expression, he wasn’t sure he’d heard me correctly so he asked, “How is that gonna happen? They don’t allow that, never have.”

“I dunno, Mr. King went into the office with Mrs. Granger and somehow he made her do it.” I replied.

Alex then asked, “So, what’s his wife look like? She pretty?”

“He doesn’t have a wife, it’s a man, they’re a gay couple.” I said.

“What? They’re letting two faggots adopt you?” Alex scoffed.

“They’re gay, not faggots, and I’d appreciate you not talking bad about who I hope to be my parents at the end of this weekend!” I was getting angry, but Alex just stormed out of the room.

Roger shook off his shock and asked, “You’re okay with living with a gay couple?”

It was a moment of truth for me, Roger had been my closest friend here, for some reason I felt I could trust him. I looked at his face as I said, “Why not Rog, I’m gay too.’ It felt really good to tell him that, but I was also afraid of his reaction.

His reaction startled me when he began to weep, I took him into a hug as he quietly told me that he was too. I asked him why he was crying and he replied, “I’ve secretly loved you for a year now, but was too afraid of how you’d take it, now I may have lost my chance. I’ll be losing my best friend and possibly my first boyfriend at the same time.”

“Rog, we’ll keep in touch I promise. Wanna know something?” I looked into his eyes for a moment before saying, “I’ve had a crush on you for a few months also.”

For the first time for either of us, our lips touched another boy’s. It was a chaste kiss, but I felt the emotions passing between us. I vowed to myself that somehow, some day, Roger and I would be together again.

Roger went to the chair and sat as I packed. I didn’t want to take too long, afraid Nick and Bobby would change their minds. After throwing in socks and undies to cover the three nights, plus my sleeping shorts just in case, I also put shirts and pants in. I then grabbed the only ‘nice’ clothes I owned and neatly put them inside, I then grabbed my journal, one I’ve been keeping for nearly a year and put that inside. Toothbrush, comb, and… I almost forgot… the picture of me and Roger, he saw me slip that in and he smiled.

I took my suitcase back to Mrs. Granger’s office and with a smile set it down. Nick took my hand in his… oh that felt good… I know I’m thirteen, and it’s kinda unusual to hold a thirteen year old’s hand, but I liked it when he did, I felt a connection to him. Bobby took my suitcase in his hand, thanked Mrs. Granger and took my other hand in his free one.

I kind of liked this. Walking between who I hoped I could call my two dads. They walked me outside and to their car, this would be the first time since I’d arrived at the orphanage. I was excited, more excited than I’ve been in a very long time, but I was also a bit scared. What if they didn’t like me? What if… I don’t know… there were too many things going through my head at the same time, I was also worried about Roger.

We headed out of the gates, Nick turned to talk to me as Bobby drove. He asked me all sorts of questions, I think he was just as excited as I was because he asked a question and when I had two or three words of my reply said he’d ask another, I couldn’t help but laugh, which of course, made him start laughing. It was a fun trip, but in the middle of all the laughing I lost track of where we were, which scared me more than anything.

Eventually the laughing died down and we actually talked, I felt like I got to know them both, and It was nice for a few minutes, I actually thought of them as my parents. I even found out I’d have a grandfather! We pulled onto a tree-lined street where the houses were all huge and surrounded by fences or walls. They pulled up to a gate and Nick pushed a button on a box on the visor over his seat, and when he did that the gates opened by themselves, that was cool!

As we approached the house my mouth fell open. It was huge! They pulled up to the front door and stopped the car. Nick got out and opened my door as Bobby got my case from the trunk, and I got out of the car. Thoughts of living here went through my mind, I imagined things as they could be and I was happy with those thoughts.

They led me into the foyer and I got my first look at how beautiful their home was, I almost thought it was too nice. Then I came to a realization, that this might not be their beautiful home, it could be our beautiful home. Nick took me from room to room showing me everything. He was acting like a kid himself he was so excited.

He showed me the master bedroom where he and Bobby slept. I imagined what else they did in there and that caused me to get those feeling again, but I quickly put them out of my mind. Across the hall from their room, he took me into a room, then took my hand in his and said, “Trevor, this is your room.” I actually choked up hearing that.

The room was amazing, there was a bed that was bigger than the three beds in my room back at the orphanage put together. It had its own bathroom and there was a TV and a video game system. On the side of the room was a desk with a computer on it, I even had my own couch and recliner! It felt like a whole house in one room!

Nick said he’d help me unpack my things and put them away. He took my suitcase to a vanity next to a chest of drawers and opened it. I took my journal and the picture of Roger out and he smiled, asking if he could see the picture.

I showed it to him and told him that Roger and I were roommates, and I told Roger that I was gay. I also told him that Roger told me that that he was too and he had a crush on me. Nick’s response was, “Awwwwww… that’s sweet!” then he kind of did a little dance standing in one spot, which caused me laugh.

He started unpacking my clothes and kept saying things like, “Oh!”, and “Don’t they ever buy you nice clothes?” I was starting to worry he would tell Bobby not to keep me but when he took out my one nice outfit he said, “Well, at least this one is okay. No, I have an idea, Trevor, we’re going shopping!”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room, on the way to the front door he yelled to Bobby, “I’m taking Trevor clothes shopping, we’ll be back by dinner!” he grabbed the keys off the table in the foyer, dragged me out the door and to the car.

He pulled out and said, “Trevor, you’re going to love this!” I had to agree, this was going to be fun, I know I just arrived, but, I hope I get to stay with them forever.

Published October 30, 2015

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