February 27 My gym class is interesting to say the least. Joe and I have come to some kind of non-verbal agreement. He looks at my ass if I’m not looking and I look at his when he’s not looking and yet we both know we are looking. Yeah, that’s probably the most screwed up paragraph ever written by man. Except, it seems to keep the peace between us. We exchange ‘Sups’ and a nod, very macho style and then shower across from one another. I catch glimpses of his junk from time to time, and I’m sure he does the same with me. There’s something comforting about that. We are both so vulnerable that we both just let it be. Gym etiquette for guys is kind of, what’s the new word that bitch taught us in English today? Oh yeah, ‘nuanced’. That’s it. That is ‘nuanced’ as all heck! In keeping with said etiquette, I generally keep my head down and on my own ‘business’ so as not toContinue reading »

The Cove Listen to The Seashell soundtrack while you read: https://www.gayauthors.org/blogs/entry/16338-the-seashell-soundtrack/ My name is Alexis the son of Aristedies, my father, and Zephyra, my mother. We are visiting Chania on the Island of Crete, my family’s ancient home. We are visiting our ancient land from America where we moved when I was very young. I am mostly American although I can speak Greek very well and know the ways of Crete. My family here likes to tease me about my American accent in Greek. They tell me it has a ‘twang’. I laugh with them, though I do not really get the joke very well. I so very much love my family. They are everything to me, or, at least they were everything….until this day. I am only 18 years old, but I discovered something today which has made me older than anyone I know. Even my great-grandfather Odysseus named after the great hero of the Odyssey. He is 103 years of age. Today I went out to the sea side.Continue reading »

February 20   Oh lord was I nervous today! The first day back at classes always makes me feel uptight! Who are my new teachers? Where are my new classrooms? Will the subjects be too hard for me? Will I see Joe in one of them…~sigh~? That would be a nightmare…I’ve been fortunate that I haven’t had to share a class with him at all. It’s bound to happen sooner or later, but I’d prefer later. So, I rode in on my bike like normal and found that the rack I usually used last semester was still open. That was good. I wouldn’t forget where I parked. LOL! Then I saw him. Oh!…oh my… He being my little blonde angel from the mall! Oh lord! He is scrumptious when he walks. I had to avert my eyes so that I wouldn’t get too turned on. That would be great…walk into my first class with a full blown erection for everyone to stare at. Swell. He had this red striped shirtContinue reading »

—— Thursday —— My Dad and I needed a break after yesterday so we went to the Round Table Pizza at the mall. We had pizza and he had a beer. Not piss warm though. He wouldn’t get me any though. 🙁 LOL We walked around the mall and did a little window shopping. Dad must have a shoe fetish because he has to look at each men’s shoe store to check for deals. It doesn’t take long, there are only 3 men’s shoe stores in the whole mall where there are about 20 women’s shoe stores! I call Sexual Discrimination!! He also had to go into the attached Sears store to look at the Craftsman tools. To my sorrow, he was scoping out new lawnmowers. Guess who gets to use it if he buys it. Oh joy. Just what I always wanted. :/ I liked the ones you could ride around in but my Dad said they would be impractical for our small lawns. Shoot! I thought I almostContinue reading »

~~~~ —— Wednesday, January 17, 5 Years ago. —— Mama went into the hospital today. I’m really worried. She came down with something last night and it went straight to her lungs. Now she has double new moaning. I don’t know how to say it right. This morning she was turning blue so Daddy called an ambulance. I’m in my bed now. I’m trying not to be scared and cry, but it’s hard not to. I want to be strong for my Daddy and for my Mama but…. ….I don’t wanna lose my Mama! God….please don’t let my Mama die……PLEEASE! Can’t stop crying. :*( Ooops. Dad must have heard me crying. He came in to check on me. Oh no! NO! No Mama!! Mamaaaa! He came in to tell me…she’s gone. Not my Mama! Why? WHY? ~~~~ January 17, Present Day Oh God…why did you betray me too? Why? Mama. My Dad just had to come in and hold me and get me to calm down. I woke up callingContinue reading »

The Story’s playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLt9rnT3wCmGRkQMnsWXfpdJK0qSRdgX_T   My name is Christopher. I have been dead for a long time. I don’t know for how long. Time really doesn’t stand for anything anymore because there is no time here, wherever ‘here’ is. I should say that ‘here’ is not much different than ‘there.’ ‘There’ being where you are, I guess, in that place where the living are and where I am not. What’s strange is that ‘here’ is where I am and where you are, as well. It’s just that you can’t see me. That’s all. That hurts so very much, you know? It’s easy to forget someone when you can’t see, touch, or hear them anymore. So, I guess that’s what I am. I am one of the forgotten. I can see you, but I don’t know that I can touch you and you don’t seem to be able to sense me. There is like this veil that separates us so that I can’t reach out to you in any way. ItContinue reading »

—— Saturday —— Yeah…so its been like a week and I didn’t put anything down. Didn’t have much to talk about really. Winter Break is kind of like a short summer and its funny, but, I often fall into a kind of routine when I’m on break. I feel better when I know what to expect, I guess. I’m not big on surprises. I actually am dreading the start of high school because of this. Its a new term and it scares me. I am kind of weird, I guess, for a teenager. I get up at 6:00 AM. Shower and brush my teeth. Feed Chester (our cat), empty the dishwasher and put away the dishes. Sometimes I’ll fix some oatmeal for myself or get the eggs out for Dad if he left a note that he’ll want to cook breakfast. I get up before my Dad does often just to see him off to work and help him with coffee and stuff. Mundane things comfort me, I guess. TheyContinue reading »

—— Sunday —— Mass was weird today. I felt…er…conspicuous. Like too many eyes were on me. It made me uncomfortable. I couldn’t really pay attention much because of it. I lost most of the Homily. Not that I listen that much anyway. Father Dillon drones on and on some Sundays. It’s all I can do to stay awake. He never actually says anything I haven’t heard before a thousand times. As I get older, some of those things he talks about just make me feel guilty. The sex stuff mostly. Catholic Boys aren’t supposed to masturbate or think about sex with other people or anything. You have to Confess that stuff because It’s all sinful. I don’t know. If God made us sexual beings then why is sex bad? I…guess….I just don’t believe that stuff now or just don’t understand. Priests need to get laid and then *they’d* understand I think. Did I just type that? LMAO! Oh well….there’s a million more years in Purgatory, I guess. Plus, I’m likeContinue reading »

—— Saturday —— I got a new laptop for Christmas! I’m so excited! Its an Apple!! It has all kinds of stuff preloaded on it. I don’t know what Dad paid for it, but its got art programs and Safari and this cool word processor here called ‘Pages’. ITunes too, but I have to convert all my MP3 music. That’ll be a chore. Its my first one that isn’t a ‘hand me down’! I thought I’d practice and write stuff in here so I can get a head start on writing practice and figure out stuff! Its fucking powerful! Ooops….sorry. Wait…why am I apologizing to my computer screen? ROFL I also got that World of Warcraft game to play on my new Mac. I am only supposed to play it for 2 hours. Its too addicting for that! I was up till 1 am last night leveling my Warlock! I’m SOOOO worn out today, but it was so worth it! I’m up to Level 26 and I only started Wednesday!Continue reading »