*** ~~~ Nick ~~~ ***
It took me about twenty minutes to calm Trevor down enough to fall back to sleep. He told me he didn’t remember what his nightmare was about and I’m glad I could be there for him, if for nothing else than to hold him as he calmed down.
As I entered our bedroom, Bobby said something that was totally out out of character…
“I really don’t like you babying him like you have been.” He said, with a hint of hostility I wasn’t accustomed to.
“I don’t baby him. He’s sensitive, and I am just trying to be there for him.” I replied.
Bobby actually laughed as he said, “Now that’s rich! Mr. Sensitive is trying to nurture his adopted son to be just like him!”
“Where is this coming from Bobby? You’ve never spoken to me like this, and I don’t like it one bit!” I was getting angry.
“Oh, come on, Nick. Since he arrived you’ve been coddling him. You’ve got him so wrapped up in ‘Daddy’ that I’m not surprised if he pops a bone every time you hug him!” Bobby quipped.
“Ah, now I see where this is coming from… You’re jealous!” I answered.
“I am not jealous!” Bobby shouted. It was the first time he’d ever yelled at me and it really scared me. I need to defuse this situation quickly.
I finished undressing and joined him on the bed before taking him in my arms and whispering in his ear, “Baby, you are the one that I want!” Quoting our favorite movie song.
I nibbled on his earlobe as his arms wrapped about my body. We held each other in silence for a few moments before I continued, “Trevor has probably attached himself to me more because since he’s been here, you haven’t spent much time alone with him. Why don’t you take him out tomorrow, let him get to know the man I fell in love with.”
He squeezed me tightly, “I’m sorry, my love, it’s just been stressful for me. I think spending the day with our son would be an excellent idea.” Then, he kissed me.
Once we’d broken the kiss, I pulled back and looked him in the eye, “You know, in four years, this is the first argument we’ve ever had. I wonder if make-up sex is as good as people say.”
He looked at me with that special gleam in his eye.
For the next forty-five minutes, I learned that make-up sex was indeed a wonderful thing. We might have to argue more often!
*** ~~~ Bobby ~~~ ***
As I awoke, Nick still in my arms, I spent a few minutes thinking. I came to the conclusion that I truly was jealous of a thirteen year old boy and my Nick. Nick had never given me reason to think that, but maybe it’s just the fact that I’m still young, and this is the first time anyone has ever divided Nick’s attention from me. I realized that it was totally unfounded, Nick was so in love with me that nobody could take my place. Nick was right, I’ve not spent any quality alone time with Trevor. I planned on remedying that situation.
I placed little feather kisses on Nick’s face and neck until he woke up. “Good Morning, Baby. I’m sorry I was such a douchnozzle last night. You’re right, I need to spend some time with our son. I love you so very much, I get a little insecure that you’ll find someone you love more than me.” I told him, honestly.
“Bobby, I’m sorry, but you’re stuck with me until we’re old and grey. Nobody, and I mean nobody could ever replace you in my heart. But I can honestly say that I love the boy in the room down the hall. But I love him as a father would his son, not as I do you.”
Nick then did something that caused tears to fall from my eyes, he sang to me. He sang the words of a song I’d almost forgotten, but they were so appropriate to show me how he felt…
When I first saw you, I saw love
And the first time you touched me, I felt love
And after all this time,
You’re still the one I love
Looks like we made it
Look how far we’ve come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we’d get there someday
They said, “I bet they’ll never make it”
But just look at us holding on
We’re still together still going strong
You’re still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You’re still the one I want for life
You’re still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You’re still the one I kiss good night
The lyrics of Shania Twain resonated with me. With tears falling down my cheeks, I kissed him. When we broke the kiss I said, “You know, I think we’ve finally, after all this time, found ‘Our Song’.
*** ~~~ Trevor ~~~ ***
I woke up feeling better after Daddy held me when my nightmare ripped me from my sleep. I got out of bed and took a shower in that awesome shower in my room. Once I’d toweled myself dry and dressed, I went down the hall to Dad & Daddy’s room. I was about to knock when I heard Daddy singing. I figured that wasn’t the right time to interrupt them when I heard the words, so I went down to the kitchen and decided to make breakfast for everyone.
I’d never cooked anything in my life, but I figured it couldn’t be that hard. I started looking for ingredients, deciding I’d make pancakes. I found a bag of flour and there was a recipe on the bag, it couldn’t be all that hard to follow the directions.
I finally gathered all the ingredients and started on the process. It was not as easy as I thought. First, when I tried to open the bag of flour, it tore faster than I thought and I dumped some on my shirt. I did what the instructions said, but it just didn’t look right. Finally, I got the batter looking what I thought would be right and went looking for a pan to cook it on.
Finally, I found what looked like it might be right, put it on the stove, and turned on the flame. After about three minutes the pan started smoking something awful and then I heard a loud beeping noise which seemed to come from everywhere.
A few moments later both Dad and Daddy came running into the room totally naked.
*** ~~~ Nick ~~~ ***
Hearing the fire alarm going off for the first time since we’d lived here scared the bejesus out of me. Bobby and I flew out of our bedroom and down the stairs then into the kitchen. The sight we beheld caused us both to nearly double over with laughter.
Trevor was at the stove trying to figure out why the pan he’d placed on it was smoking so badly. When he turned around he had flour all over himself. His face, hair, chest. The look on his face was precious. Surprise, fear, embarrassment. It was one time I wished Bobby had his phone handy, but I guess he didn’t have anyplace to put it.
I went to the stove to take care of the pan as Bobby pulled Trevor into his arms and consoled a severely embarrassed boy.
*** ~~~ Bobby ~~~ ***
“It’s okay, buddy. Everyone has accidents. I think it was really nice that you wanted to surprise us with breakfast. At least you surprised us!”
He sniffled a few times and his arms tightened around me. I held him tightly and whispered in his ears, “You know, one reason Nick does all the cooking, is that the one time I tried I almost burned the place down too. Maybe we should both ask Henri to teach us how to cook.”
You know, it felt really good holding Trevor in my arms as he seemed to be trying to hide himself from the world. I kissed the top of his head and said quietly in an attempt to calm him. Nick had finished clearing up Trevor’s failed attempt as a chef and said, “I think it best that you go take another shower and get dressed, Trevor. Dad and I will do the same and I
think it’s a good idea if we go out for Brunch.”
“After that, Buddy, I think that you and I should spend the day together. Daddy has been hoarding you to himself since you’ve been here, except for when Grandpa took you out, so I want my turn to spoil you rotten.”
I think that comment, from the look on Trevor’s face, eliminated any fears he may have had from his culinary debacle. He enthusiastically pumped a fist into the air and said, “Yes!”
Nick and I watched him scamper up the stairs and then hand-in-hand we followed.
*** ~~~ Trevor ~~~ ***
OMG! That was embarrassing! I mean, how was I to know that you aren’t supposed to turn the fire all the way up? All I did was put the pan on and pour some oil, like the instructions said! It didn’t say which kind of oil to use!
At least they weren’t mad when the smoke alarm went off. Dad even seemed to enjoy holding me. I enjoyed it too. I never really got a chance to really look at him before. It’s still confusing to me the feelings I get when I see a naked guy, I just don’t know why I get so excited, especially lately. It never seemed to happen before.
I’m looking forward to spending the day with Dad today, but I’m getting a little nervous about having to go back to the orphanage tomorrow. I really hope it won’t be for too long, but at least I can see Roger again.
Well, I’ve finished my shower… again, and now I have to choose what to wear. I think I’ll go with what Daddy says is my grunge look, even though it seems pretty nice to me. It’s just a pair of faded blue jeans and a t-shirt that says “Nasty Boy” on it. Looking in the mirror, I look cute, but I worry it’s not going to be right for where Dad plans on taking me, so I think I’ll bring another shirt… just in case.
*** ~~~ Nick ~~~ ***
Bobby and I went upstairs and hopped into the shower. Every time I see him I’m reminded how absolutely stunning he looks without clothing. This caused me to think about Trevor’s reaction when Bobby was cuddling with him. “Babe, I think you should have a talk with Trevor. I can’t imagine he’s seen many naked men in his life, and I think it would be good for you to talk about it with him.”
“Probably a good idea, Babe… If I could do it without embarrassment.” He replied.
“Embarrassment for you, or for him?” I joked.
“Very funny. But… honestly… for either of us. I guess I need to convey to him that nudity is a natural thing, and that the feelings he’s having are normal, whether he’s gay or not. I also have one question I’ll need to ask him, but I think I need to ask you first.”
“Me? What kind of question would you need to ask me, and how does it affect Trevor?”
Bobby then turned around facing me, and said, “Nick, you have been my entire world since we’ve been together up until this point. Trevor coming into our lives will not only be a major change in his life, it will be a major change in ours. Him joining the family has actually given me the excuse I needed to move ahead with something I’ve been planning for a while now. I’ve had a feeling that we couldn’t get any closer without something major happening. Trevor has become that something major. Let’s finish up in here and when we get into the bedroom, I’ll tell you what it is all about.”
I stared at him for a moment wondering what he was on about, but finally we got out of the shower and we toweled each other off. He led me into our bedroom and asked me to sit on the bed before going to his nightstand and reaching in the drawer.
He returned and stood in front of me, his hands behind his back, then dropped until he was kneeling on one knee. “I actually started thinking about this the night Dad came over and apologized. There’s been something I’ve been waiting for, but didn’t know what until Trevor came to stay with us. Nick, I love you with all my heart,” He pulled his hands in front of him opening a small box he held in the palm of his right hand, looked me in the eye and said, “Nick Peterson, will you marry me?”
The raw emotion I was feeling at that moment nearly overwhelmed me. Unable to speak through the lump in my throat, and with tears of joy flowing freely down my cheeks, I simply nodded, then leapt at him kissing him deeply.
*** ~~~ Trevor ~~~ ***
Boy, it is sure taking a long time for them to get ready. I’ve been sitting in the living room for almost fifteen minutes already. I was just about to head up to check on them when Daddy came downstairs followed closely by Dad, but Daddy looked like he’d been crying.
I immediately ran to him and wrapped my arms around him, “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” I asked with my voice cracking and on the verge of tears myself.
“Yes, Trevor, these are tears of happiness. Your Dad just asked me to marry him!” He said proudly.
I looked into his eyes then over to Dad. He looked so proud of himself. I pumped my fist into the air and yelled, “Way to go, Dad!”
Dad looked at Daddy and said, “Well Babe, I guess we know the answer to the question I was going to ask Trevor.”
After hugging each other a bunch of times, Dad asked me if I was ready for brunch and then we’ll head out for our day. I told him I was, so we all went out to the car.
*** ~~~ Bobby ~~~ ***
Brunch was excellent, as usual. I had to stifle myself or I’d be laughing constantly watching Nick staring at his engagement ring. He must have shown it to everyone we talked to. I should have done this a long time ago, but… there really wasn’t a good time. Trevor coming into our lives gave me what I needed to “make an honest man” out of Nick.
While Nick was fawning over his ring, I turned to Trevor and said, “I’m sorry if it seems like I’ve been ignoring you. Nick is the emotional half of us, I’m more the brains. But I want you to know I love you too.”
“It’s okay, Dad. I think I know how you feel, but it’s great to hear you say it. I love you too.” I replied.
I’m really actually looking forward to spending the day with Trevor. Now that we finished our brunch it was time to head back home.
Trevor and I dropped Nick off, he said he needed to make a few calls to get his wedding plans started. Trevor bought it as I knew Nick wanted to give me a chance to be alone with Trevor and if he hadn’t had some good excuse, Trevor probably would have tried to convince him to join us.
I turned to my would-be son and asked, “So, what do you want to do today?”
“I dunno, you choose, Dad.” He replied.
I had an idea, matter of fact I’ve already set the wheels in motion. “Trevor, have you ever been horseback riding?”
He turned to look at me and his grin showed I’d chosen wisely. “No, Dad. But it’s something I always wanted to do!”
“Ok, I know just the place.” I told him, then we headed out. A friend of mine owned a horse ranch just outside town. I’ve been there many times with Nick and it’s a good way to do something and still be able to talk.
Trevor listened to the radio as I drove, and I was impressed with the fact that he knew the words to most of the songs. He seemed to be enjoying himself, however I was trying to think of how to talk to him when we had the chance. I admit, I was getting a bit nervous.
We arrived at my friend’s place. I am glad I called him yesterday and set up this possibility. As we pulled up, my friend, Tony walked up to the car.
Tony greeted us in a heavy Texas drawl, “Hi Bobby, who’s this handsome young buck?”
“Tony, this is the boy I told you about that Nick and I are adopting. Trevor, this is Tony Paluzzo. He and I have been friends since we were both younger than you.” I explained.
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Paluzzo.” Trevor said reaching his hand out for Tony to shake.
“Enough of that Mr. Paluzzo, crap. I’m Tony, and I’m damn glad to meet you, Trevor.” He said as he gripped Trevor’s hand.
Trevor’s smile was one of his thousand watt varieties. He shook hands with Tony and asked, “Is this place all yours?”
“Sure is, Pardner. This land has been in my family for nearly a hundred years. Bobby tells me you want to go horseback riding.”
“Yeah, I’ve never been, but I think it would be awesome!” Trevor replied.
I watched the interaction between Tony and Trevor and I couldn’t help but feel proud of my soon to be son. I listened as Tony explained what Trevor would need to know about riding and he was paying close attention.
After about twenty minutes, Tony led us over to the barn. He was introducing Trevor to the horses. Initially he was shy about patting the horse on the muzzle, but, after he realized that the horses wouldn’t bite him, he became more confident. He was constantly making comments to both Tony and I about how big they were, or how beautiful they were.
“So, have you decided which horse you want to ride?”
Trevor pointed to a beautiful Chestnut Colt. Tony looked at him and said, “You have a good eye, Trevor. That one is one of my best. His name is Jasper.”
Trevor walked up to the colt, patted it on the side of it’s head and said, “You wanna go out for the day with me, Jasper?”
Almost as if the horse understood him, he nuzzled Trevor’s hand and gave a snort.
Over the next twenty minutes, Tony showed Trevor how to prepare the horse he’d chosen, while at the same time I prepared my usual horse. My favorite horse in Tony’s stable was a brown and white mare named Mable.
Once we’d done all our preparations, Tony handed me a couple of skins full of water. I helped Trevor onto his colt and then I mounted my horse. I noticed Tony had put a rifle in it’s holster on the saddle of my horse, just to be on the safe side. The trails we were going to use didn’t usually have much in the way of dangerous wildlife, but it’s been known to happen that one might stray into the areas we were headed into.
I instructed Trevor on how to coax the horse to do as he wanted but I probably didn’t need to. Trevor seemed to be one with his horse. The boy was a natural.
We rode for a short while, entering an area that wasn’t accessible except by horse or on foot. I explained to Trevor about the various plants and trees we passed and he seemed to be quite interested and was asking very astute questions.
After about an hour we came across a lake. I could tell by the look in his eyes that Trevor wanted to swim and this gave me the opportunity I had been looking for.
“How about we take a dip in the lake, Trevor?” I asked.
He looked over at me wide eyed before saying, “But we don’t have anything to wear to swim in.”
“Trevor, there isn’t anyone else around so we can just skinny dip.” I told him.
“Just you and me? For reals?” Trevor questioned.
“Why not? Neither of us have anything to be ashamed about. You didn’t seem shy about your body at home.” I probed.
Trevor went quiet for a moment before softly saying, “I don’t understand why I keep getting hard whenever I think about seeing a naked guy.”
We both dismounted our horses, tied them up, and I led him to a shady spot under a tree and invited him to sit. Once we were comfortable, I said to him, “Trevor. You’re at an age where things are happening. Not just with your physical body, but with your brain and emotions as well. Hormones are being produced that weren’t there a year or so ago. It’s a perfectly normal thing for you to react to things like seeing a guy, or even a woman, naked. What separates us from other kinds of animals is what we choose to do when we get aroused. There’s nothing wrong with noticing someone appeals to you, just like you did this morning to me. I don’t want you to feel bad about those feelings and if you ever need to talk about them, you can ask me or Nick. We love you, Trevor, and you’re going to be our son.”
He listened attentively throughout my little speech. He was obviously thinking about what I’d said. Finally he looked me in the eye and said, “You know, you’re the best Dad in the whole world!” Then he hugged me.
After breaking the hug he looked at me with a gleam in his eye and said, “Last one nakey and in the lake is a rotten egg!” Just as he started talking he began shedding his clothing. Moments later his bare behind was running down to the shore and into the water.
*** ~~~ Trevor ~~~ ***
Man! My new dad is way cooler than I thought he was. We skinny dipped in the lake for a while, then Dad said it was time we headed back so we could be home in time for dinner. I really had a great time with Dad, and he made me feel a whole lot better. We got out, dried ourselves with some towels that Dad had in his saddlebags, then got dressed. We remounted our horses and started heading back to the barn.
During our ride back, I decided to ask Dad a few more questions. “Dad, how do you know if you really love someone?”
He was quiet a moment before replying, “It’s different for everyone, Trevor. But just because you’re attracted to someone physically it doesn’t mean you’re in love with them. It’s sort of like I love you, but I’m not in love with you like I am with Nick. I’m wondering, do you think you love Roger? Or do you think you might be in love with him?
“I dunno, Dad. Roger and I have been together since… well.. like as far as I can remember. We’re best friends. But lately I’ve been having these other feelings about him, they’re just really confusing me.”
“That’s the hard part, Trevor. Deciding if you love someone enough that they matter more to you than you do to yourself. In my opinion that defines if you are in love with someone.”
“Thanks, Dad. That helps.” I said quietly. I was then wondering what it would matter anyway. I’d be leaving the orphanage in a few days after going back and I wouldn’t get to see or be with Roger anyway. My heart ached at the thought.
I think it was cool that our talk made me feel so much closer to Dad. He even told me that I would be their son, not that I might be. That simple statement made me feel a whole bunch better.
We got back to the barn and Tony was waiting for us. He showed me how to groom the horses and put them back in their stalls. He even invited me back again sometime. I thanked him and then Dad and I got back in the car to head home.
The closer we got to the house, the more uneasy I was becoming because it was that much sooner until I had to go back to the orphanage. I know I shouldn’t be nervous about it, but I can’t help it. I am.
When we walked into the house, Daddy came over to hug me, but immediately held his nose and said I smelled like a horse and to go shower before dinner. Dad was laughing until he was told to go shower also.
After showering, I went back downstairs and after Daddy cleared me as not having ‘horse scent’ we sat down to dinner. I told him all about our day and he seemed happy I’d had a good time. He told us that he’d spoken to Grandpa and he was going to join us tomorrow when they had to drive me back. That kind of put a damper on my excitement.
The rest of the evening we just talked about what was going to happen over the next few days. They said that they expected I’d be coming home for good either Wednesday or Thursday. That helped to lift my spirits a bit.
We watched a bit of television together for a few hours. I got to snuggle between Dad and Daddy, and I enjoyed how peaceful it was. I relished the feeling, as I wanted us to be as close as possible. I really didn’t want to lose this when I went back, even if it was only for a couple of days. Eventually, Dad told me I should get to bed. I didn’t want to, but I also didn’t want to tell him no, so I went upstairs and got into bed.
I turned on the radio next to my bed as I laid in bed thinking about Roger. I missed him terribly. If only there were a way he could get adopted too. It’s not gonna happen, I’m sure of that, but it would be nice. I thought for a long time about being adopted and how I felt all those years talking to other prospective parents.
I was getting really nervous about the fact that I was going home tomorrow. It’s like my new world was coming to an end. The music was soft enough to let me think and let my mind drift. The uncertainties were killing me and I just didn’t want my dream to end.
I’m not sure how long my mind drifted, but at some point, I guess I fell asleep.
…to be continued…
Bobby & Nick’s Song: “Shania Twain, You’re Still The One”