Chapter 7 – Revelations
*** ~~~ Trevor ~~~ ***
“I’m gonna tell everyone you two are a pair of fags!” Alex spat. “If my leg weren’t all fucked up, I’d pound you both into bloody pulps! Fucking pansy assed faggots!”
Roger and I didn’t know what to do at that point. We were both scared and Roger squeezed my hand so tight I lost feeling for a second. For a few minutes, all I could do was stare at him as he seemed to tower over us.
“You guys… I swear, it makes me sick to watch you! Why don’t you both just go hide, so us normal people won’t get infected by your sickness!” Alex continued.
Eventually, something Roger had told me earlier broke through the fear.
“You’re just jealous, Alex. I’m not sure you want to go telling everyone something that’s really none of their business… or yours for that matter!” I told him rather smugly.
“Why the fuck would I be jealous? Besides, it is their business. Living with a couple fags who want to ‘do stuff’ to them!” Alex replied.
“Roger told me about your ‘private’ photo album, Alex. I’m sure all the boys would be interested in knowing you took photos of them while they were in the shower. You don’t have to act like a jerk just because you don’t want people to know you think you’re gay too.” Alex’s expression went slack as I told him this. He turned white as a ghost.
“How’d you find that?” Alex asked Roger.
“When you were in the infirmary, they asked me to get a few of your things together. You should really hide things like that on your computer, Alex. It was right in the open when I was looking for your homework to print for class.” Roger replied.
Alex looked crestfallen. Sheepishly, he looked at the two of us, and in a barely inaudible voice said, “I’m just so scared. These feelings are so strong.”
I released Roger, who had calmed significantly since Alex’s initial scare, and took Alex into my arms in a tight hug. “It’s okay, Alex. One thing I learned this weekend is that it’s okay to be gay. When you’re not being a total jerk, you’re actually pretty cute. If you started treating others here like they were people and not just things for you to pick on, you might even find out there are others like us here.”
He was reluctant at first to return my hug, but when he did, it felt like the dam burst. He started crying on my shoulder. Eventually, he choked out, “I guess you’re gonna be leaving. I think I’m most jealous of that. You really do look cute in your new clothes.”
I invited him to sit with us. Roger told him about Marine & Henri, and I talked to him civilly probably for the first time since we were put together as roomies. Once he dropped his façade, it was really nice to talk to him. After a few minutes, he looked directly at me.
“Why are you being like this, Trevor? I’ve been really mean to you forever.”
“Alex, my new Daddy taught me that it takes a lot of courage to admit when you’re wrong, and when they do you should give him a second chance. I never really hated you, I hated the way you acted.”
“Trevor, if it’s okay with you, and Roger, can I kiss you? Just once?” Alex asked sheepishly.
I looked at Roger who nodded before saying, “As long as I get one too, Alex.”
Alex moved his face closer to mine and our lips connected. It was a good kiss, but nothing to me compared to kissing Roger. After a few moments, we broke the kiss. Alex had a tear running down his face. Roger then took Alex into his arms and kissed him, too. I had mixed feelings watching this. Firstly, I thought it was hot! Then, seeing Roger kissing Alex was sort of turning me on. But I also felt really jealous. That was when I truly realized I loved Roger.
*** ~~~ Alex ~~~ ***
It’s scary. When I first noticed these feelings about a year ago, I figured it was nothing. I mean, I saw all those boys in the shower and they made me feel so weird. I couldn’t get them out of my mind. I don’t even remember how I got the idea to sneak pictures of them. It was stupid.
At first it was one or two quick snapshots. I’d use them after Roger and Trevor were asleep. I’d stare at them and I’d get so hard! I hated myself for it. But I was so scared someone would find out, so I just started trying to make everyone hate me as much as I hate myself. It’s not right! I shouldn’t be attracted to boys!
A few months ago, I kind of got the impression that Roger had a thing for Trevor. The way he looked at him. It was just the way I figure I looked at those pictures. Seeing Roger and Trevor kissing really freaked me out. I mean, I found myself wishing it was me they were kissing. I thought I needed to stop them, but when I confronted them and Trevor was so nice to me… I don’t know, it just felt good.
Trevor, Roger, and I talked for a long time. It wasn’t until we realized it was nearly dinner time that we made our way back into the building. Trevor looks so good in his new clothes. I am having trouble keeping my eyes off him. We went back to our room and Trevor suggested we take a shower before dinner. When he took off his pants I saw he was wearing these really sexy undies.
“Wow, those look good on you, Trevor!” I said.
“Thanks, Alex. I really like the way they feel on me. Wanna try a pair?” He actually winked at me!
I was getting butterflies in my tummy. A feeling I’ve never had. Well, I’ve had it, but never felt good about it.
We walked to the showers and slid off our undies. Roger kept staring at Trevor, and honestly, so did I. That’s when it happened. I got such a boner looking at him and I was embarrassed. Before, I’d have made a nasty remark if I got one, but it was just the three of us and even though I know they saw me, they didn’t say anything about it.
Roger is a fine looking boy, but Trevor is just beautiful. It kinda feels good to have these thoughts and not feel bad about them.
“Earth to Alex, come in Alex!” It was Roger. He was giggling, but that even sounded cute!
“Oh… sorry… I was just thinking.”
“It’s okay, Alex. We were just asking if you wanted to sit with us at dinner.” Trevor said.
“Really? After I was such a jerk to you guys you’re willing to have me sit with you?”
“Why not? I really do want you to be our friend. Even though I’m not going to be here more than a few more days, Roger will, for at least a little while. Knowing you’re a friend now instead of a bully will make it easier on everyone.” Trevor told us.
I choked up a bit before just nodding. We finished up our showers, dried off, and wrapped towels over our middles before walking back to our room. Once inside we dropped our towels and Trevor tossed both me and Roger a pair of his sexy undies. I’m small for my age, but Trevor’s undies were just too small for me. Things were spilling out in all of the wrong places. I guess he saw that and tossed me a different kind. I liked these… sort of a cross between the boxers I usually wore and briefs.
I pulled them on and loved how they felt. Seeing my smile, Trevor tossed me the package and said, “I’ll get more when I get home, I want you to have these.”
Suddenly I was taken with emotion. I rushed over to him and wrapped him in a huge hug. “I’m so sorry for how I treated you!” Tears were streaming down my face as I hugged him. “Can you ever forgive me?”
“Alex, you’re forgiven. My life has turned around so much in the last few days. I have a new family, Roger might get adopted. You’re now our friend.”
“Alex,” Roger said quietly, “I’ve kind of had a crush on Trevor for a few months, but he wasn’t my first. I was actually kind of thinking a lot of you before you started acting all shitty.” I could see the blush on Roger’s face, and I was sure it was mirroring my own.
If I didn’t change the way things were heading we’d never make it to dinner. “Okay, guys… this is nice, but we need to finish getting dressed and to the dining hall. I’m glad we’re friends now, and I hope we can talk a bit after dinner.”
We all got dressed and went to the dining hall. We got our food and found a table. I noticed the looks we were all getting. Some of the guys whistled at Trevor and said things like, “Hey Mr. Fancy Pants!” or “Wow, Trevor, cool clothes!” There were others who looked at the three of us wondering why we were being all friendly like. They weren’t used to it. I was always the one who everyone avoided. I guess that was my own fault.
We finished dinner and went back to our room. We were sitting and just talking when Roger asked me a question I really wasn’t ready for.
“So, other than Trevor and me, are there any other boys who kind of ‘do it’ for you?”
I know I blushed like big time. It kind of felt good to not be all angry about a question like this. I nodded before I squeaked out, “Yeah… Nigel.”
“Nigel? The 12?” Roger asked, surprised.
“Yeah, he’s just so adorable. But I doubt he’s like us. You know, it feels weird that I just said that and am not in the least scared by it.”
“I think that we need to talk about something, Roger. I’m leaving in a couple days. You’re going for a weekend visit on Friday. I don’t think we’re going to be here two or three days without everyone knowing how we feel about each other. I think we should tell everyone.” Trevor said, shocking us both.
I didn’t think it was a good idea. Not at all. I know how some of the guys think and I know there’d be problems. “Um, I don’t think it’s a good idea, Trevor. A lot of those guys think gays are bad news and they will give you both grief.”
“Alex, I don’t want to live a lie, and I’m sure Roger doesn’t either. I really believe that they’ll be okay with it, and if not, well, we’re not going to be here for long anyway.” Trevor said.
“I don’t know, Trevor. You will be gone, that’s pretty much for sure, but it might take some time for my adoption to be finished.” Roger said.
I wasn’t sure, but I guess I needed to make a stand. I looked at both of them and realized they wouldn’t be able to hide their feelings. “Look guys, I guess if you do tell everyone, and they take it bad… I guess I could keep an eye out. None of them want to mess with me, so if I say you two are sorta like under my protection… that if they mess with either of you, they’ll have to deal with me, that might just be enough. I treated you two like crap and you didn’t deserve it, I guess this is one way I can make it up to you.”
“Thanks Alex. I knew you weren’t a total asshole!” Trevor said. I guess I deserved that.
We just chatted a little the rest of the evening, gave each other hugs and went to sleep when it was bedtime. For the first time in a very long time I felt good about myself when I went to sleep.
*** ~~~ Trevor ~~~ ***
I woke up before either Roger or Alex this morning. I was feeling really good, even though I wore undies to sleep in. I didn’t think it was a good idea to sleep naked like I did at home. I got up and pulled on a pair of sleep shorts Daddy had packed for me and went to the bathroom to pee.
One of the older kids, a 14 named Philip was there. I nodded to him and said, “Good Morning,” he just gave me a grunt in reply. Whatever. I did get a feeling that he didn’t like me much though. He and I had never even had that much of an exchange, probably because I didn’t really try to communicate to anyone other than a few people I really knew.
I finished my bathroom business and went back to our room. Alex was just sitting up when I walked in. He looked at me and actually smiled. I don’t remember the last time he actually smiled a genuine smile in my direction. “Good Morning, Alex. How did you sleep last night?”
“Wow, I guess it wasn’t a dream if you’re still being nice to me. I slept really good. What time is it?” Alex replied.
“We have about twenty minutes till breakfast. Keep an eye on the door, I want to surprise Roger when I wake him up.” Alex had a grin on his face so I think he figured out what I was going to do. I approached Roger’s bed. He looked so peaceful as he slept. After staring at him for a minute or so, I bent over and kissed him. A few seconds later his eyes shot open and he looked like he was in a panic until I guess the penny dropped and he realized he didn’t have to hide anything from Alex. We kissed for a minute before Alex faked a cough. We separated and both looked over at Alex. “Sorry.” Roger and I said together. Alex just smiled. I looked back at Roger and I think he knew what I was thinking because we both hopped off Roger’s bed and grabbed Alex. He was laughing as Roger and I both planted kisses on Alex’s cheeks, one of us on each side.
We all laughed about it once we’d broken apart. Alex and Roger were wearing sweat pants so they both headed to the bathroom. I opened my suitcase and pulled out two outfits, one for me, and one for Roger. I made a mental note to ask Daddy if we could buy a couple new outfits for Alex. I think that would be a cool going away gift from me to him.
They got back from doing their business. Roger was really pleased with the outfit I chose for him. I think Alex was just slightly bummed that he didn’t have new clothes to wear but he didn’t make any comments about it. In my heart I knew then that he’d appreciate a gift like I had planned in my head.
We went into the dining hall and other than the surprised looks that the three of us were together and not fighting in any way, nobody said anything. We got our breakfast and sat at a table with a couple of the other guys. Nothing special was said. I did tell the guys nearest me that I had a great time with Dad and Daddy and I was told I would be going to live with them as soon as they got the paperwork done.
A couple of the guys told me how jealous they were, but all-in-all, they were happy for me. They were also happy that Roger might have found parents also. Overall, it was a great breakfast with no real issues. It made me feel that our big announcement this afternoon would go over pretty well.
After breakfast we went to classes. What can I say about that other than it was boring as usual. The only differences were that both Roger and I got compliments about our clothes, which was pretty cool if you ask me.
Finally, the school day was over. Roger, Alex, and I got back to our room and went inside to change. As we were changing, Alex asked if we were going to go through with telling the rest of the dorm about us. I looked at Roger who just nodded to me. “Yeah, I think it’s for the best.”
Alex just shook his head, but didn’t say anything. We left and headed for the common room. There were about eight others there, they were watching a show on TV so we sat and watched with them. I looked over at Alex and he was pretty much staring at Nigel who was sitting across the room. When the show ended I told the guys I needed to talk to them.
Once I had their attention I said, “Well, one thing we’ve always liked about our dorm is that we don’t hide stuff from each other. Roger and I have been talking and we have come to realize that we’re both gay.” Before I could continue, Philip, the boy from the bathroom this morning started yelling at me.
“What? How the fuck did you just figure this out? It doesn’t really matter how, all I know is either you get the fuck out of our dorm, or I’ll kick the shit out of both your pansy asses!”
About this time a couple of the other boys started in agreeing with Philip. I was starting to get scared until Alex yelled, “Okay guys, shut the fuck up!” It got quiet quick. “I think it took real balls for these guys to admit it to you all, and what do they get? You guys threaten them?”
Philip looked at Alex like he had two heads. “What are you saying Alex? When Trevor left you were talking trash about his faggot ass along with the rest of us!”
“Yeah, I was, and I’m actually ashamed about that.” Alex replied.
“So, you won’t mind if we kick some faggot ass?” Philip inquired.
“If you want some, you better start with me. The reason I’m taking their side is I figured I am too, so you want some faggot ass to try to kick, you better start with me because if any of you go after Trevor or Roger, you’ll have me to deal with and you all know I can take any or all of you at any time.”
I was absolutely shocked! Alex outed himself! What was funny though was that after Alex said what he said, Phillip kind of looked at him and said, “Okay, Alex. You win. But all of you better keep away from us!”
We left the common room and went back to our room. We sat there and I was still in shock when there was a knock on the door. I opened it and Mrs. Granger was there asking me to come to her office for a telephone call.
I followed her, not speaking, as I was taught. When we got to her office she handed me the phone. “Hello?”
“Hi Trevor, it’s Dad.”
“Oh, Hi Dad!” Hearing his voice got me so happy!
“Trevor, I have some news for you. You’re coming home tomorrow afternoon.”
“Oh My God! For reals, Dad?”
“Yes, son. For reals.”
I was so excited I don’t even remember saying goodbye. Next thing I knew I was back at my room. I opened the door and saw Alex and Roger talking to another boy. It took me a second to realize, it was Nigel.
I was so excited I simply yelled out, “I’m going home tomorrow afternoon!”
Roger hugged me tight. It was at that moment I realized we had a visitor. I sat next to Roger and looked at Nigel. “Hey, Nigel.”
“Nigel came by to tell us how cool he thought it was that we did what we did.” Alex said proudly, never taking his eyes off the smaller boy.
I looked at him puzzled. “I’m glad you feel that way, Nigel. Um…”
Before I could say what I was going to ask, Alex started talking. “He told Roger and me that he doesn’t know for sure but he thinks he might be too. I tried to explain to him that since he’s only 12, he might be, or he might not. But either way is cool. He also said that after hearing what Philip said, he wants to ask to move into our room once you leave.”
“Hey Nigel, that’s cool. I know that Alex will be the perfect person to help you figure things out.”
“Thanks Trevor. It’s like.. yeah… what you guys did today was like totally cool. I guess I better go now. You gotta have a lot to do if you’re going to your new home tomorrow.” Nigel said before he waved to us and left the room.”
The rest of the evening was a blur. I don’t remember much. It’s as if the day just flew by without me noticing anything that was going on.
I woke up in the morning and couldn’t for the life of me remember what happened after Nigel left. I did know two things. I was in bed naked, and I wasn’t alone. I looked next to me and Roger was there, still asleep. I looked over Roger and saw Alex sitting on his bed watching us.
Before I could say anything Alex said, “Don’t worry, you guys didn’t do anything more than just kissing. But I have to say, you two do look cute together. I can’t believe I am actually saying this to you. Two days ago, I would have kicked your sorry ass. I’m glad you got me thinking right. You better get your boyfriend awake. We only have about twenty minutes until breakfast.”
I woke Roger up and we got out of bed and dressed. We went to the dining room and before we entered, Mrs. Granger stopped us.
“Trevor, your parents will be here about noon, until then I have arranged for the three of you to be excused from classes so you can organize your things from your room. Congratulations on your adoption, Trevor. I am so happy for you.”
We three looked at each other then high-fived. No classes! Hearing Mrs. Granger say ‘my parents,’ was surreal. It was a phrase I can’t wait to get used to hear from now on. We went into the dining room and everyone except Philip and his friends started clapping for me. It’s a big deal with a twelve, thirteen, or older gets adopted. I have no idea what happened at all that morning, I was just so excited.
We were sitting in our room when we heard a knock on the door. I opened it and there were my Dad and my Daddy standing there. They had a bag with them. I invited them in and Daddy handed me the bag saying it was what I’d asked Dad to pick up for me. I guess I had a puzzled look on my face because Daddy simply nodded in Alex’s direction. I looked in the bag and remembered.
“Alex, I know we weren’t really friends for most of the time I was here, but you have changed a whole lot in the last couple days. I wanted to get you something to remember me by.” I handed him the bag. He took one look inside and I could see he was near tears.
“Well, Alex, what is it?” Roger asked.
He sniffled, wiped the tears from his face and said, “He got me some new clothes!”
It wasn’t much, but I guess it was more than he ever expected. The next thing I knew he was hugging me so hard it was difficult to breathe. He was crying on my shoulder so I just patted him on the back. He kept saying he didn’t deserve a friend like me.
“Alex, you were just afraid. All I did was make you see that it is okay. Just be who you really are and you will be fine. Take good care of Roger for me and be a good mentor for Nigel.”
I then turned to Roger. He also had tears running down his face. I hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you on Friday morning when we come to pick you up for your weekend. I’m leaving you the clothes I brought with me. I have plenty more at home. I love you, and I’ll miss you!”
Dad and Daddy each took one of my hands and together with Roger and Alex we started heading out to the car. I said goodbye to all of the guys who had lined the hallways between my old room and the front doors.
We got to the car and I turned and waved one last time before getting into the back seat of our car. Once we were all in and had our seatbelts fastened, Dad said, “Are you ready to go home now, Son?”
I looked out the window and almost a lifetime of memories I’ve had at the orphanage flashed by my eyes. I can’t ignore the fact that I was still able to somehow grow up like a kid as if I had parents. But as I look back at all of the memories I’ve created, especially the ones with Roger, and all of the recent memories I’ve just created with Alex, I feel happy to say I am ready to move on with the rest of my life with my new family. I smiled at Dad and said, “I sure am, Dad. I sure am.”
End – Book 1
[AUTHOR’S NOTE: Book 2 of Priorities will start with Trevor’s actual adoption and subsequently, Roger’s own path towards adoption as well. I hope you enjoyed this book, as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. Look for Book 2 after a very short hiatus.]