It’s been almost year, since that dreaded talk with Jeff, a talk that painted me as one of the freaks of this world. How could this happen to me? Why did it have to be me? Why did everything go wrong in my life? I had everything anyone could ask for. Why did this have to come with it?

I won’t forget the day he found those teen magazines I’ve been looking at. The ones full of boys that make your mouth water for them. The kind of boys you would give up just about everything just to get a moment, ONE moment with them. And I vividly remember the day of our talk.

It was a few days after my 13th birthday just hitting the first year of my teenage life. I had just started entertaining the thoughts of a few eye-candy in school… The boys particularly. Jeff’s family stayed at my house for the week to go “theatre”. Psh, what’s so fun about watching a few men and women act out a scene from Hamlet or some ancient book, I would rather watch the re-showing of Blade Runner at the local cinemax instead. It was just blah for a whole 3 hours.

So as luck would have it, since he couldn’t stay at the guest room with his parents, he stayed with me at my room. We shared the bed in the room, which was quite large, even for two people if I might add. I got quite careless with the magazines and figured I’d just leave them under the bed.

As I woke up the next morning, still a bit sleepy and shaking out the few bits of sand in my eyes. My face contorted in horror as I saw Jeff rummaging around and pulling out the magazines one by one from under my bed. I couldn’t speak, the thought that he might tell somebody, anybody that would listen and beat me up terrified me.

I would never forget the few bits of conversation that really struck into me like a knife. He sat me down at the edge of the bed and had the talk.

“Promise me Tanner, promise me that you’ll stop looking at these” he said, pointing to the magazines. “It’s a bad thing.”

“Why?” I asked, already knowing the answer but afraid to hear it coming from him.

“It’s… wrong Tanner, boys should never like boys.” He said and the words cut deep into me and my eyes started tearing up.

He apparently saw my distress and tried to relieve me by saying “Tanner, dude. Don’t worry about it, it just this freak phase that would get out of eventually”. Patting me on the back.

“…okay” I said in a whimper, head down toward the floor. So I tried to find comfort in those words, And I expected them to be true.

“This phase only stays with the freaks out there okay? I know you’re no freak”. He assured me. But I didn’t respond.

“Now I want you dispose of these before you anybody else finds them okay bud?”


While the talk was longer than that, the first few exchanges were the ones that got to me. There was just so much ‘hate’ in them, I never would have thought my own cousin Jeff would be like that to people like me. I’m gay, pure and simple, and he was disappointed at me. He might not actually call me a freak just then and there but he called my “kind” as freaks of society that needed to be cast out, people who should stay in the darkness, never going to be able to And that’s what really hurt me, that’s what got to me, that I wouldn’t be accepted by the people around me just because I liked looking at boys.

I did my best in forgetting about the boys in school, the boys on TV, the ones in those magazines. I tried forgetting them all, but I just COULDN’T stop. It wouldn’t go away! I always found myself peeking at a few of the boys in the high school shower, drooling over the boys on TV, and peeking at the boys in the convenience store magazines. It hasn’t even been a week since that talk.

I tried shaking them off, forcefully so. But all the tension built up one early morning when I had a dream about a cute boy who was laying on top of me in the bed and making out with me! I always had a lot of dreams of boys but not like this. He was humping me and humping me, kissing me, basically having sex with until I woke up in the moment of orgasm. I was shooting seed from under my covers, shivering from the powerful gravity of it all. I looked under the sheets and saw my boxers soaked and even the sheets all the way through. I felt ashamed, ashamed of who I am what I’ve been feeling at this stage of my life. I thought about I wouldn’t be able to experience, the things that were out of reach now, the things no one would give me no matter how much I begged. That’s when I started to cry, I cried a lot, confused and hurt beyond comprehension of why this curse was placed on me. And that’s how it went for a months. I cried every time it happened. I didn’t even bother to tell my parents about it, they wouldn’t probably think anything of it as long as they think it was about girls I dreamt about. And I wouldn’t even try to touch myself in the thoughts of the cute boys around me to avoid furthering this “freak phase” of mine. And when I do, I’d end up being a sobbing mess in my bed. And so the months still passed.

I woke up with another one of those incidents early in the morning, and it was a powerful one too, it was a Blond hair, Blue-eyed boy this time and DAMN was he freaking beautiful. I looked under the covers to see if I can still salvage this particular cover. God I was replacing the covers every three days, the maids must know that something’s up by now. Ugh, considering the intensity of the blow and the amount… I should replace this one, early in the morning too. Sigh, I was one of those mornings that I just cried a few minutes longer than the others. Great, first day of freshman year and I’m already crying, way to start the year huh?

I got dressed up in the usual “daily high school” look, I tried making it “un-gay” as possible today. No skinny jeans, no colourful shirts, and no high heels of course. I didn’t want to be forced out of the closet at the first day of school. It has a slim chance of happening in reality but hey, gotta take precautions right, a chance is still a chance no matter how small. I took a good look at myself in the mirror, trying to spot any traces of “gayness” in me. I paid a bit more attention to my Hazel eyes, wiping away the tears I just shed in earlier and fixed my medium-length brown hair a bit. Is my hair too long? Do I look like a girl? Nah… Don’t think so. I grabbed my backpack and almost forgot my Walkman before getting out of the bus stop.

“Hi Gregor” I said to our guard as he opened the gate for me.

“Hello Tanner, you’re early, first day of high school huh?” Gregor said, a smile on his face.

“Yeah, old and new classmates there so…” I said as I started walking out of the gate.

“Okay, well new girls are going to be there too, so you go snatch one of them pretty ones up and bring her home.” He chuckled behind me as my eyes drooped down on the sidewalk. Sigh, like that’s gonna happen… I guess he couldn’t have known could he?

As I walked in the sidewalk and thought about it, I guess it’s gonna be one of those bus rides where I wouldn’t really know a lot of people, I mean, I heard the bus this year comes from all the way north. A lot of new faces most likely. Sigh anyway, I’ll just listen to my Walkman during the whole ten minutes to school. I’m not anti-social or anything, the gay thing just really gets me on these days and I’d rather not risk exposing myself to the whole damn bus and become the rich “fag-boy” everyone’s making fun of by the end of the week. That would be pure torture.

A new song had just started to play in my Walkman when the bus showed up and slowed down to a stop in front of the curb. I happened to look at the windows scanning the new faces. And that’s when I saw the loveliest vision ever to cross my young eyes. It was so sudden and unexpected that it took my breath away. I stared at the prettiest set of deep blue eyes, the cutest of noses, and a set of the MOST kissable, thin, pink lips, placed on the most gorgeous face and with smoothest light skin imaginable and topped by the most glorious splendor of golden locks that shone like rays of the morning sun. Registering the sight, I was instantly hit in the jaw with raw infatuation that my legs got shaky and the music I was listening to faded in the background, playing second fiddle to the allure, and radiance, and intimidation that this boy was giving off at that moment. And that was still just outside the bus window! I can’t imagine what it would be like to be actually near him without any physical barriers. I would be easily drunk from the appeal of it all.

I was locked in place, staring at the boy from outside his window, when the bus driver gave me a little honk to beckon me inside of the bus so it could leave and head for school already. That snapped me out of it, I kinda jumped a little bit in my place from the interruption, good thing that the boy wasn’t looking really looking at me from inside and think that I was either a dork with a staring problem or figure out that I was gay, which was precisely what I was avoiding.

On a set of wobbly legs, I stepped foot inside the bus and thanked the driver. Oh God I’m actually inside the bus with this beautiful boy! My stomach was actually turning flips at the thought of it. His face looked cuter the closer I got to him, and that was impressive! I looked around for any empty seats hopefully close but not too close to this newfound infatuation of mine. I found a seat about 3 seats away from him and just sat there in front of him. I was nervous as hell wanting to find a way to look back at him without being too obvious about it. I actually removed my earphones of the Walkman in my ears in the middle of the song in hopes of getting to hear this angel of mine speak to someone so I could hear his voice, wanting to know what he sounded like. But he never did that first day, I wasn’t disappointed though, being in his awesome presence already made the bus ride MUCH more entertaining than just listening to my Walkman. The bus lasted for about ten minutes, normally I’d walk to school but this was much better. When we arrived and walked out of the bus, I got to see that he had this slim waifish frame that just accentuated his soft body through his clothes that made him real sexy to me.

That’s how it went for a week or two, me anxiously looking through the windows, looking for this special boy who flips my stomach over every time my gaze landed on him. I wouldn’t even listen to music anymore like I usually do during bus rides. His presence just made everything better all of the sudden, he just had this glow, this life about him that made my ten minutes in the bus exciting, knowing that he was there. He had the coolest of features. Man did I want to kiss his him! He just had the most kissable lips that would never look dull no matter how much you see them. They retained the softest of appearances and the pinkest of color. I would look forward every start of the day and make me anxious to see him at the end of every last period.

But soon… maybe a week after that, the excitement died down from getting to see him. It’s not that he lost his angelic grace or anything, he never lost an ounce of it. I just got reminded of myself being gay, of how I was a supposed outcast from society, a freak of nature that didn’t deserve to be accepted by the people all round me. God he’s making it worse. I don’t blame him, I blame myself from thinking that I was gonna be with someone as beautiful as him. And that hurt me to my core. I would still stare at him, but more secretively this time. I felt ashamed, he was in my dreams a lot more, I’d wake up with more frequent incidents in the morning. He was just so damn beautiful.

But one morning, things were different. I got woken up by the maid instead of my alarm clock, telling me that I was going to be late for the bus. Thank God I didn’t have any “incidents” this morning, I was probably too tired to even dream. Ugh, why did they have to show “Akira” so late last night, maybe because they think teens won’t try to stay up to watch the uncensored version of it. I tried, but fell asleep anyway hoping my backup plan worked. I’d set up a recorder for this kind of situation but it turned up damn empty! Arg, why did fate have to toy with me like this? So I dragged myself out of the bed, took a shower, put on my clothes, had breakfast, and brush my teeth. And finally went out to the bus stop in a semi-awake state.

I didn’t even bother looking at the kid inside the bus as I was still sleepy as hell. I was kinda the last kid to get inside the bus today and there were fewer seats than normal inside, so in my groggy haze I picked the nearest one and sat down and slumped and hoped to get a little bit of sleep on a 10-minute stretch. It was a minute or two later that the bus hit a bump in the road and I was jolt awake with the impact it made. Argh, I needed the sleep. I scanned my surroundings now more awake but still sleepy, until my gaze landed on a boy in my right who I remembered I was leaning on. I froze for a second and widened my eyes in a silent gasp as pure, raw infatuation hit me right in the ribs. It was the boy! I was actually sitting right next to the boy that I’ve been dreaming about for the past few weeks! And I was damn sleeping on his shoulder!

“Aw dude…I’m sorry. Oh man, I’m so sorry… look… I didn’t mean to…” I said in a nervous tone, hoping he wouldn’t kick my ass inside the bus.

“It’s okay man. It was just a pothole” He said, making me hear his voice for the very first time! And let me tell you, it was the sexiest voice ever! He had this voice that had just left the “cracking stage” and had just developed into the most pleasant voices I’ve ever heard.

“No… I mean about falling asleep on your shoulder like that. I was so tired, I think I must have dozed off.” I said a little bit relieved but still nervous from his response. He was sooo different up close, his intimidating vibe mellowed out to this “air” about him that made him very pleasant in a way.

To my surprise he actually said “It’s alright, Tanner. Really. I was asleep too. I guess…” and I was taken aback. He… He knew my name!?

“How do you…?” I said, “You…you know who I am?” I stuttered, nervous and excited at the same time. This angel knowing my name was one of that I never expected.

His eyes widened a little bit, not too obvious but noticeable when you’re staring hard enough, which I was actually doing at that time! He nodded a bit after that and I was at a loss for words that I didn’t even bother to ask him how he did and we just stared at each other for a few seconds until I jerked my head to the other direction to stop from staring too hard at his soft and cute features.

I turned away for a few moments so I wouldn’t look like an infatuated idiot in front of him for the rest of the bus ride. But he was so damn cute! I think I’m getting an erection from the thought of my head touching the sweet side of his shoulder. I did my best to hide it with my hands though, using my bag would be too obvious.

It was then I heard him say “I…I think you drooled on my shirt.” Pointing to his shoulder.

I was horrified, I just literally drooled on this cute boy! Ugh, it’s early in the morning and the day has been a total disaster! Today is not going to be my day.

“Oh man…I’m sorry. God, that’s gross…” I said, apologizing for the abomination I just left in his shirt.

“NO! No…I mean, it’s ok.” He said, but I thought he was just trying to be polite so I just started apologizing again. “I mean…it’s an old shirt.”

“So old that you’d rather have a big wet spot of some strange kid’s drool on it?” I said, in disbelief that he didn’t kick my ass right there and seeing that he was taking it well.

It was then that he said “Sure…it’s like….decoration.”. Which I thought was super weird at first but when I thought about it, it made sense, a funny one too. I smiled at him and all the tension died down. It seemed like he was finding a way to diffuse the situation too because when I smiled at him, he also smiled with the prettiest lips and pearl white teeth ever! Wow I was, infatuated all over again.

And that’s how it started, a few giggles here, a few smiles there, and we did a little exchange for the rest of the bus ride. Again I told him my name, which he seemed to already know and told me his. “Derrick” sigh… his name fit him so perfectly, it was so cool to hear, it was like an angel’s name you know. We talked all the way to school. It was so great to have someone to talk to inside the bus. And you know what? He was sooo cool to talk to. I absorbed every word that came of out his pretty lips. The way they would move to form the words. The topics weren’t so bad either, I would respond every time, just to hear the rasp of his angelic voice. Wow, it was good to know that he wasn’t just some eye candy you only get to look at, like any of the other boys in school. He had a personality that I couldn’t get enough of, this awesome light that radiated in his eyes. He just completed my day with just a 10-minute bus ride!

It was then that we approached school and got off. My anxiousness returned, hoping to be able to see this “Derrick” boy again. We walked until we were inside the halls and was about to separate when my anxiousness got me to speak his angelic name.

“So… Derrick, right?” Argh! I just talked to him! I didn’t have to ask that!

“Yeah…that’s me.” He responded, waiting for me to continue.

“Maybe I’ll see ya around or something?” I said. Hey I took a chance right, the least I could do. I hope he doesn’t laugh at me. That would be just plain shitty.

And wow, you know what he said? He said. “Yeah….maybe. I mean…I hope so.”. H-h-he hopes so? Um cool! He would like to see me again. This day couldn’t get any better!

I tried to hide my excitement by playing it off and saying. “Cool. Well…take it easy. Nice meeting you, man.” And I walked off into the other side of the hall and waved him good bye.

Wow did that just happen? I met the cutest boy in the world! And he’s literally the boy of my dreams! I smiled all the way to class. Happy to have been able to meet such a cool person such as Derrick. I was actually happier in class! Not that I didn’t like class, but since meeting with this boy did I like getting through each one.

Lunch time came through and I was just about to get out of the halls when he caught my eye again. I was overjoyed to be able to see him coming out of one of the classrooms and heading for the cafeteria. I took a few seconds and thought about it until I actually started following him. He sat down on one of the cafeteria tables and was about to unpack his lunch when I made my move and walked in his direction. But as I approached him though, I notice a few weird things. Not about him, but the people around him. I noticed that it was Chris’ gang too, the LaCrosse team? Is the LaCrosse team harassing him? I saw that they would whisper and laugh behind his back. When Derrick looked at them with a slight scowl they would all zip up until he turned his back again and snicker again. Why were they making fun of this boy? He was such a cool person that I just didn’t understand.

“Hey!” I said. Already excited to hear his voice again. Trying to shake his focus off the others.

“Oh hey Tanner” He said, shaking the little scowl in his face and looking up at me with his killer smile.

I’ll never get tired of seeing those lips form such a thing hehehe.

“Same lunch too huh? Cool, hanging out with anyone today?” I asked. Hoping he’d say no.

“Uh, no not really Tanner” He responded.

“Okay, well why don’t you come with me outside? We don’t need to be inside this place all the time” I asked. My stomach in knots.

“Sure” He said. “That would be cool Tanner” He said, smile and all. God he was so beautiful!

We actually went out to the school courtyard and talked for a good part of the lunch period. We sat down side by side in the grass facing outwards from the school and just ‘talked’. Our conversation first started from the incident and the few topics in the bus and actually picked up the pace as we found out we liked the same things! From videogames, to music, and to comic books and movies, we talked and talked from one topic to the next, never losing pace and cohesion. His aura didn’t die down one bit, the life in his every word just seemed to spill out of him uncontrollably and I would absorb every one of them. He also does very cute gestures with his soft hands. And his voice would fluctuate to a sexy pitch from time to time. And his pretty eyes would gaze at mine that it was driving me crazy! A thing stood in the back of my mind though, about why the kids who were making fun of him. And as the conversation wandered into sports, I decided to probe a bit.

“So you play sports huh? So you play LaCrosse or something?” I asked, loading the question.

“Uh no not really, I play basketball from time to time, but that’s just about it” He shrugged. Not really what I expected but I took it. I guess I’ll just ask about it another time.

“Cool, I don’t mean to brag but, I used to play a little soccer myself” I said. “The coach kinda knows me since I trained under him a few times since I was younger, he thinks about “recruiting” me this year.” That got a little smirk out of him.

“Dude…I think you should do it! If the coaches are asking you to join a team, why not?” He said.

“What? Join Soccer or Lacrosse?”

“Whatever. Do BOTH if you want.”

“Nah…” I said. “Really, I’m not into sports all that much. I don’t know…I think the whole athletic mentality is kinda wasted on me. You know?”

“I guess I can see your point. It’s kinda wasted on me too. But I try to fake it from time to time.”

“Oh really now? Well one of these days you’ll have to show me how to do that without totally embarrassing myself.” I snickered a bit. Sports was just not for me hehehe.

“Maybe I will” He said. And you know what? He actually invited me to play basketball with him! I thought he was joking at first, but when I asked him about it he was actually serious. This cute boy was actually umm… inviting me to get sweaty with him! I took minute to think about what I was gonna say, which was almost “HELL YES!” until half of the LaCrosse team, the ones who were teasing him before, suddenly came into view. They walked up into our spot in the grass already with a few grins and subtle smirks on their faces. I got weirded out at first but I stayed with Derrick. I was going to say something to him but I didn’t bother. The team would know for sure about my dysfunction and beat me up over it. I did notice a little change in Derrick too, he was visibly uncomfortable in the presence of these guys.

“Heeey, what do you know guys it’s Derrick the Destitute” said one of the guys. Derrick the Destitute? What’s that all about?

“Hey new kid, glad you ‘made’ it here.” Another said with a not-so-subtle sarcastic tone of voice. And the others held back a smile, but with smirks already in their faces.

“So Derrick, since you’re new here, where are YOU from?” The first one asked and waited for the answer.

“Um… up north, way up north.” Derrick said, his voice deadpan and his eyes avoiding the other boys’ stare.

“Where up north?” The boy followed. His smirk growing wider every second.

“You know… not too far from downtown Chicago… a little North of there.” Derrick replied just like before. But this time he was also avoiding my eyes.

“What’s the name of the area?” The boy egged on, his smirk on the verge of breaking into a grin.

With a little bit of a sigh and with his head down, Derrick mentioned the area where he lived. I had to admit I didn’t recognize the place. But… as if some punch line to a joke, everyone’s faces changed. They smiled and snickered as if the place he lived was so hilarious. Derrick tried blocking all of it out, his poker face was a little better than most but when I tried to look in his eyes, they lost a little bit of their awesome shine that it became obvious to me that he was sad and hurt over the situation. So embarrassed beyond relief, Derrick just stood up from our spot in the grass and quietly whispered a “goodbye” to me. I didn’t try to stop him, I didn’t even know what to say to him in front of half the LaCrosse team. I hope he feels better.

A thought stayed in my mind the rest of lunch. What’s up with the title “Derrick the Destitute”? It’s only been a month and he’s already getting teased? I swear this high school has a huge problem. I got to one of my classes and asked one of my friends what the title meant.

“Tanner, dude… You don’t know ‘what’ Derrick is?” My friend asked, apparently in disbelief of my lateness to the “news”.

“What do you mean “what Derrick is”?” I asked, still confused with the supposed joke.

“Derrick is poor dude… And I mean REAL poor.” He said, snickering at the thought of it.

I waited a few seconds. “That’s… it?” I asked, raising my eyebrow, not getting how that was even remotely hilarious.

“Yes dude! Don’t you notice the clothes he’s wearing? Or better yet, have you SEEN the car his mom drives?” He said, laughing even harder than before. “That thing looks like it was from the middle-ages or something! Its windshield is broken too, so guess what she does? Put a plastic cover on it!” he continued apparently tearing up from too much laughter. I left him alone, still laughing. But I didn’t get it. So he’s poor, so what? It’s not like he asked for it or anything. I swear this place is full of materialistic idiots. Derrick got the short-end of the stick, and he has to get picked on about it? That’s really fucked up if you ask me. And the thought stayed on my mind for the rest of the day. And I figured I’ll just talk to him by the end of the day.

The last period of the day soon ended and I packed up my stuff extra early in order to catch the first bus out of this place. As soon as I exited the doors however, I saw Derrick walking at a hurried pace towards the same bus I was gonna take, cool! I actually smiled when I saw him, he was just so cute, how can you not smile at his presence?

I saw him sit down by window seat and leaned his head, probably still embarrassed from the incident in the courtyard earlier. My heart went out to him, so I climbed the bus headed towards him, making eye contact all the way and smiling. But before I reached his seat, he averted his eyes away from me. I sat down beside him and kind of smiled at him from my side of the seat. He wouldn’t look up at me though. So I tried breaking the ice.

“What’s up?” I said, nudging him a little bit.

“Hey…” He replied, still looking at the window and not paying attention, hiding his eyes away from me.

I bumped him with my shoulders. “You ok? You look like you had a rotten afternoon.” I grinned, trying to lighten things up.

“Um…yeah…I guess you could say that.” He said still looking away from my eyes.

I shook his shoulders. “Hey” and he finally gives me a bit of his attention and looked at me with those pretty eyes. “…I hope you weren’t those assholes at lunch get you down. They’ve got nothing better to do than pick on other people. It’s the only thing that makes them feel important, you know? Without that they’re nothing.” I said, and it was true.

“Yeah” he said, but I don’t think he believed me.

“I MEAN it, k? Don’t sweat it. They’re not as ‘well off’ as they pretend to be, anyway. You just worry about being you, and they’ll get bored and leave you alone soon enough. It’s no biggie.” I said, reassuring him about it.

“Heh…that’s easy for you to say. You’re rich.” I was caught off guard but I found it funny anyway.

“No I’m not…” I said. “My parents are!” I said grinning at him, hiding my teeth. That seemed to do the trick. “Hehehe, there we go. A genuine smile, and it didn’t cost me a cent.” I said, happy to finally get him to smile again. It was such an exhilarating feeling.

We talked a bit more after that. He seemed to ease up a bit more since we did, embarrassment and sadness leaving him and the awesome life returning to his deep-blue eyes. His voice returning to that sexy rasp that I got addicted to since the bus ride this morning. I still apologized a little for the sleeping and uh… drooling on his shirt earlier. He just smiled and shrugged it off as no big deal and said that he was actually asleep too. I told him about how I stayed up all night waiting to watch and record this movie; And that I was pissed that my VCR recorded basically nothing. He asked me what the movie was about and I told him that it was the uncensored version of a highly rated movie. That caught his attention.

“Omigod! Was it ‘Akira’???” He asked.

“YEAH! That’s what it was! You SAW it?” I asked feeling excited from all of this.

“Of COURSE I saw it! I love that movie. Dude, I can’t believe you’ve never seen it before.”

“Derrick, dude, you HAVE to tell me what happens at the end!” I asked him but the bastard won’t budge.

“I will NOT! You have to rent it from the video store and watch it! I’m not gonna let you slide by with some ‘Akira Cliff Notes’.” He teased, giggling a bit from my situation.

“Awwww, you SUCK!” I replied, laughing with him.

I noticed that our time together in that bus was about to be cut short. And I was in a mild panic looking for a way to keep in contact with this kid, hoping that we don’t just “separate” for the day. So I thought of something, and random as it might been I took a chance and asked him about Akira again.

“Listen, I’ll tell you what….maybe I can rent it…and…you can come over and watch it with me or something?” I said, feeling nervous as hell. The threat of rejection turning me inside out. Friend or NO friend, this kid JUST met me today.

To my relief he said, “Um….yeah….ok….”, looking nervous as well.

So I asked him for his notebook and actually gave him my number! Me! Tanner Scott, the shyest boy in the world. Wow am I dreaming? This is so surreal! I can’t believe I actually did that! I told him to call me today before standing up from my seat. I walked out of the bus and looked at him in his pretty eyes one last time and waved him goodbye. Sigh, this day couldn’t get any better!

As I entered the gate, I said hi to Gregor and he let me in. He must have seen the smile on my face because he asked.

“Have a good day Tanner?” He said, smiling a bit himself.

“The best!” I said, and started to giggle a bit from the tingly sensations the whole day’s events gave me.

“My, you must have found your beauty then have you?” He said, his smile breaking into a wide grin.

I just giggled past him and hurried my pace to get inside the house, avoiding further interrogation from good ol’ Gregor. As I entered the house I rushed past everyone too, the maids, my dad, and even my mom. I dashed upstairs kicking my shoes off and jumping to bed waiting for the call from Derrick. I thought about the day’s events as I waited. I thought about how I laid my head on his thin wiry shoulder that was as soft as a pillow. I remembered the first time I actually got to see his pretty eyes up close and how they took my breath away every time he pointed them at me. I thought about how his golden hair shine like the rays of the sun, giving me the blessing of seeing their life and radiance. And lastly I thought about how his lips would move around in the most sensual way as they formed the coolest of words accompanied with the sexiest teenage voice I have ever heard in my entire life.

I noticed that I was getting an erection from all those thoughts, but unlike my usual reaction to this kind of stuff, I didn’t try to shake them off this time. I let the thoughts of kissing this boy flood my mind, imagining the softness of his moist lips connect with mine while we lay down in my bed. I unzipped my pants and took a hold of myself through my boxers, the tip already having a wet spot from the stimulation from the thoughts of his kiss. I closed my eyes imagined him laying on top of me, resting his slim body on top of mine and grinding into me while our lips connected in the most sensual union, almost chewing using each other’s lips while our tongues tangled around one another. I pulled down my boxers all the way to my ankles and exposed my 6 inches to the air. I shivered a bit, the cool air hitting the organ in my hand and cooling the few drops that have started leaking from the tip since I got hard. I started slow at first, feeling its heat in my palms and steadily picking up the pace. I imagined Derrick shirtless and in his boxers, his soft skin rubbing against mine with just the right amount of smoothness and friction, his nipples scratching against mine, his hardness through his boxers wrestling against my own. I picked up the pace, stroking up and down, the cool air getting warmer and warmer every passing second.

I was almost reaching the point of no return when a knock on the door almost made me jump right out of my skin. I pulled up the covers up to my stomach faster than you can imagine. Thank God I didn’t forget to replace the covers this morning, or else I’d have nothing to cover my lap with. I heard my mom call out the door.

“Tanner, honey.” She said through the door “The driver’s going to be busy driving your dad in an hour or two. Will you need him for anything before he leaves?”

I thought about it and said, “Yes mom I do, I’ll be down in a few minutes”

“Okay, just hurry up honey.” She said. And I heard her step away from the door.

I pulled down the covers and looked at my erection which had gone soft but still pink from the stimulation earlier. I won’t finish this now. Ah well, I’ll get to it another time. I went down the stairs and hopped in the car to get to the video rental stores and picked up an uncensored version of ‘Akira’ and went back home. Derrick didn’t call me though, the bastard hehehe. I’ll be sure to give him a little bit of hell for forgetting to call tomorrow.

I woke up early the next morning already blasting off and shivering under the sheets. God was that dream was powerful! Was that Derrick? It must be. Argh! That’s the 3rd time this week! I think I broke my own record or something. I KNEW I should have finished my session yesterday. Ugh, when is this teenage thing gonna stop? I can’t even make eye contact with the maids anymore, they so know something’s up. I crawled up from bed and got ready for the bus ride to school. The weird thing though is I’m actually looking forward to it, unlike the past weeks. The thought of getting to see Derrick early in the morning enticed me and had me rummaging around my closet for a better set of clothes. I looked for a shirt that matched my pants, and smoothed my brown hair a little bit more than I used to. I stared at myself for a moment and suddenly realized what I was doing. Geez, this isn’t a date Tanner! Expose yourself to this kid why don’t you? That’s would be a sight. So I walked out of the house. Walking to the gate and giving Gregor a hi and a little smile. He called out to me.

“Tanner, Sascha called me just now, she told me you left your Walkman on the table.”

“Nah, tell her I don’t it need today” I grinned, thinking about Derrick.

Gregor nodded and I walked out to the curb in the bus stop. Waiting for the bus to arrive. The bastard forgot to call me yesterday. I’ll elbow him a bit in the ribs for not doing so hehehe. The bus arrived a few minutes later and I saw him again, averting his eyes away from me from the window seat. Hehe, you don’t get away that easily you punk. I stepped foot inside the bus and grinned at him all the way, ready to give him hell. It was then that I noticed his face and he had a black eye! What the? My grin faded pretty quickly.

“Dude… what the hell happened to you?” I asked a bit worried about his bruised face. And he turned pink, his blush peeking through the little purple marks on his still pretty face.

“Big fight on the court yesterday. Just some bullshit, I should’ve known better. But hey, I’m sure that my face made his fists really sore! So I guess I showed him, right?”

Hehe, tough guy huh? I laughed a little at his response, but I started grilling for a bit more details. He was such a cool person, who would dare even consider hitting his pretty face. I told him about not calling me yesterday, but I eased up a bit, seeing that he already got enough ass kicking for the week. I told him I already got the Akira video tape in my house and he was so stoked about it! He was basically ALMOST spoiling ending for me. Hahaha, bastard!

“Just remember the words, ‘Tetsuo’ and ‘Kaneda’, Tanner” Derrick said.

“What for?” I asked, confused about it.

“Just remember it, we’ll be shits and giggles when we watch it”. He grinned. Hehe, whatever that means!

And you know what? He actually came to my house! Like for real! He was so wide-eyed when I gave the tour and taking it all in, but not as wide-eyed when I showed him my basement, his bright eyes lit up! He thought it was soooo cool the stuff I had there! I was so proud hehehe, I never thought this stuff would impress him that much. We played around at first before settling down on the couch and watching Akira side by side. Wow, the darkness of the room and the light of the TV would enhance his image to me. I stared at him from the corner of my eye, I looked at the smooth skin of his face, and the light reflected in his eyes. And his soft pink lips calling out to me in a silent dare. Sigh… He was so damn beautiful. When the movie ended, we just basically rewound it played it again! We made a marathon over it until the words and shouts became automatic for us to say. Now I got what he meant by, Tetsuo and Kaneda, we were shouting it at each other louder and louder until we were laughing our asses of by the time the other couldn’t yell any louder. He was more than sexy to me at that time, he was cool, he was fun, but best of all… he was real, and he was here.

And that’s how it went like for the following couple of weeks. I actually got to see his house this time, Derrick was a bit ashamed at it at first but I told him that it was cool, and it’s true. He was already entertaining by himself, and I was already impressed. We would watch any movie that came to our minds at school. Sometimes at my house and sometimes his. We bonded each time we did, and I would still stare at him at the corner of my eye. I got to meet his mom too, she was so cool! She hovered over Derrick every time she was in the house that I found it cute that he would be a little embarrassed about it. She was just so involved with him that it kinda made me jealous, happily so! We became the like brothers in those couple of weeks, we would ride the bus together, eat lunch together, ride the bus home, and even talk on the phone for the rest of the afternoon and late into the night. We were the best of friends. And you know what the most awesome thing is? Despite him knowing that I have what I have, he never asked me to buy him anything or treat him someplace to able to have fun with him. He just… he wanted my company, he just wanted to be my friend, he cared for me and I never had to give him anything to stick around me. It was honestly one of the best feelings in the world.

The other kids still didn’t let up on their act of making Derrick feel like a lower class in school. They would still point and snicker at him behind his back, call him names like “Derrick the Destitute” and a few others, I even heard someone call him “slug” one time! I swear I just don’t get why they kick out reminding him about it all. Naturally, Derrick shrugged it off, apparently used to it after staying at our school for a month, but I could always see his eyes droop and lose a bit of their shine every time he got it worse than usual. I always defended him though, and he was so grateful for my help. I would get him to show me his smile. I got to see the life in his eyes shine every time that would happen, and that made it worth it in my book.

But as a few more weeks passed… I thought about what I have been feeling. The flips in my stomach every time I saw him. The dreamy sighs I let out every time he smiles. I… I was falling in love, and it terrified me. But most of all, I’m ashamed. How could I have been so careless? Why did I let myself fall for Derrick? Why did I have a need for him? Why was his compliments, his hugs and touches, his gazes become so addictive to me? Why could something so wrong feel so right when it came to him? And you know what, despite all this? I didn’t avoid him, I couldn’t. I needed him here, I needed him by my side. He meant so much to me. But he could never be mine, never, and that depressed me every time I thought about it. Just stop it Tanner! Just be cool and be his friend you don’t need this gay thing in your life! Just…just try your best to shake the feeling off. You don’t have to take things further.


It was one of those Fridays that school seemed slower than usual. Derrick mentioned something about maybe going to the basketball court again today, seeing as it’s the weekend and we didn’t have one of our movie “nights” planned as usual. It got me thinking. I remembered how his face sported a black eye and a few bruises, and I worried. I didn’t want the people here tease him again last time so I thought of something. I raced home that day and got myself driven to the one of the sports store near my house. I got him one of those hoops that you would hang at the side of your house. I thought about getting my driver to get me to his house, but I thought that it would be too suspicious. So I took the bus instead and walked the curb all the way to his house.

He was coming out of the house, probably going to the court already when he saw me dragging this thing to his drive way. He was so surprised, his eyes widening and a smile appearing on his face.

“Hey!” He said, smiling wide.

“Hi” I said, pushing the box to him. “Here, take it.”

“What’s this for?”

“It’s a present. For you.” I said, dropping it down at his feet. God that thing’s heavy!

“Hehehe, why? It’s not my birthday.” He said still smiling from the surprise of my visit.

“Since when did it have to be your birthday for you to get a present?” I replied, still catching my breath from carrying that thing.

“Well it’s not Christmas either.”

Bastard, hehehe. “Sigh…look…I just dragged this huge piece of junk over here on a BUS! So you’re either gonna take it, or I’m gonna beat you to death with it.” I smiled.

He finally took it in his hands. “What is it?” He asked, feeling a bit sheepish from opening the present.

It hit me… I had no exact explanation for giving him this thing! I got a bit speechless for few seconds. But mustering the courage to say it all, I just said with all my heart. “Just open it. It’s a gift from me to you…for being a friend.” And I gave him a weak smile.

He looked taken aback a bit. Wondering where this moment came from, his eyes meeting mine in almost a bewildered fashiom. He hesitated a few seconds and put his hands on the cover of the box. And after ripping away the few bits of tape… He opened the box and stared at the present inside. He was speechless, and he was stuck staring at the hoop placed inside. He didn’t speak for a few moments and I got a little nervous. Was it too much? Too… ‘less’?

“It’s a basketball hoop to go on the side of your house…” I said, hesitating to continue. “… So you don’t have to play in that dangerous park across town anymore. I figured…I’d get you a good one from the actual sporting goods store. Now just you and your friends can play.” I said, my hands getting sweaty from building tension of the situation.

He looked at me in the eyes. “Tanner…you didn’t….you didn’t have to buy me this.” He said, his voice just above whisper.

“I know. That’s the cool part! Out of all the friends I’ve ever had, you’re the only one who doesn’t want or expect anything from me other than my company. It’s kind of neat to feel wanted for a change.” I said, a bit relieved by his answer. But he was stayed silent, not responding to what I said. The tension got me to speak again. “You…you know, if you don’t like it…I mean, if it’s too big or something, I can take it back. I can get you something else if you want…”

And what happened next was the biggest surprise he gave me since we became friends. He stepped a bit closer to me, eyes a bit watery and hugged me tenderly around my neck! “I love it Tanner. Oh my God..I love it.” He said, his voice cracking into sob.

I didn’t expect this! At ALL! His arms wrapped around my neck and his lips just inches from my cheek. I mean we hugged a few times before, but those ones were ‘Masculine’, they were never like… like this. So I just froze in place, not knowing if I should hug him back or let him finish his. “Oh…ok. Well…good.” I managed to let out.

“No one has ever done something this nice for me Tanner. Thank you. Thank you sooo much.” He said. And the feelings I’ve been trying to lay to rest, came back full force making my body tremble and my hands shake worse than before.

“Uh….k…” I said, my voice almost inaudible, my body heating up from the intensity of his embrace, and my lap stirring from the heat and closeness he was giving me at that moment. I was shaking so badly.

Just stay strong Tanner, just let him finish his hug. You don’t want to make this situation worse, you… you can let him go. You’re no freak right? You can live as a normal boy. You can… you can win. I kept telling myself that, over and over again hoping they would give me strength and comfort… But the words fell on deaf ears as he hugged me a bit tighter. My will was giving way, my instincts to run away failing to kick in… And my arms, almost too numb and too cold to even control, rose up and hugged him back. And I was lost. Lost in the embrace of the smartest, cutest, funniest, and most wonderful boy in existence. He was so soft that his body felt like a pillow, no… better than a pillow!

He radiated his awesome aura and I absorbed them as closely as I could ever get. I let my hands rub softly on his back, feeling his shoulder blades under his shirt. And he hugged me a bit tighter than before. But… I must have gotten too far into it. My hands, while feeling his back, got more curious. I took a chance and started lowering my embrace. My erection, already at half-mast, got harder as that happened. It was then that I made huge mistake. My hands traveled lower than his sides, lower than what I originally intended, and began to caress the soft mounds behind his hips.

He suddenly jumped away from me. His eyes were wide and his mouth open, letting in a silent gasp. I was so stupid, I didn’t expect it at all. I must have looked horrified as well, but the real problem was the bulge in my pants, it was sticking out! I immediately used my hands to cover up to no avail. He already saw it, saw that I had an erection during our embrace. Oh God what have I done?! I turned away from him, my face turning redder than it has ever been.

“I-I-I’m sorry, man! I’m sooo sorry!” I managed to blurt out, seeing his eyes fixed on me. “Look, D-D-Derrick…”

But I couldn’t find the words, I couldn’t get an explanation for the weirdness so I tried to make getaway by saying “I’m sorry Derrick… I… I should go. I’ve gotta go now.” But he asked me to stay.

“I have to go.” I said, still trying to run away.

“WHY?” he said, confused.

“I just do, ok? I hope you like the gift.”

“I told you, I LOVE the gift…” He said. And hearing that made me panic.

“STOP saying that!” I yelled. And we just stopped and stared at each other. Weirded out from the situation.

He pleaded me to stay. He wanted to talk. I tried to decline his invitation but he just wouldn’t let me. So with a bit of a frown I entered his house. We got a few sodas and went inside his bedroom, sitting on the edge of his bed. We tried to get back to our usual talk but I wasn’t having it. I was too ashamed. I didn’t want to talk about it. Then after awkward moments, he just came out and asked.

“Tanner? What exactly happened out there in the yard? With you and me, I mean.” He asked, peeking up at my eyes.

I quickly averted mine, trying to avoid further humiliation. “I don’t know…” and I paused. “What do you think happened?” I asked, my eyes tearing up.

“I don’t know either. It was kinda…you know…weird.” He said.

Hearing that made the dam broke. I turned away from him, tears from my eyes spilling over and dripping down to the sheets of his bed. He asked me if I was okay but I told him to leave me be. He tried to retract his statement, saying that he didn’t mean it like that. But I didn’t believe him. He already knew, he knew that I was a freak that deserved to be spit on and hated. Yet he pleaded, wanting to know why I was so hurt.

“I want so badly to be like everybody else, Derrick. I want so badly to be normal. But I’m NOT. And no matter how hard I try, I just…I can’t stop…feeling this way! I just can’t make it STOP!” I said in that moment of weakness. Hoping I was making sense.

But he was still confused, not getting what I meant, still wanting to make me stop crying. I gathered my thoughts through my tears, contemplating if I should do it or not. But I just couldn’t take it anymore. So gathering the strength to tell him everything, I took and I confessed to Derrick that I was gay. He was shocked, just as I suspected he would be. But I already had the ball rolling. So I made it clear to him that I was gay, once and for all.

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Couldn’t believe that a boy like me would be one of the freaks that existed in this world. He was frozen in place for a few seconds. But with the burning determination to comfort me. He took me in his arms and let me cry into his shoulder. He let the tears touch him while he hugged and cradled me, making the pain go away. He made the pain go away and accepted me for who I am… It was then that he started to speak.

“Tanner…” He started, hesitating for a few seconds. “Liking guys doesn’t mean you can’t love somebody. We’re just like anybody else.”

I thought about what he said and a single word caught my attention. We.

I removed my face from his shoulder, and looked at him in his deep, blue eyes. Hoping that I heard him right and I wasn’t dreaming at that moment. “…we?” I asked, questioning if what he said was true. The tension in our stare building up again.

“Yeah…” He said “…We”. And he stopped talking.

We stared at each other’s for a long moment, looking at the emotion through each other’s eyes. And as if a magnetic switch was flicked on. He started leaning into me causing me to back away at first. Hoping that this wasn’t some wet dream.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

And he simply replied “I don’t know…but I can’t help it anymore…” and he leaned in again. But this time I didn’t back away. Our lips touched for the first time and we kissed. My breath suddenly rushed out of my lungs and his did the same, my heart and his pumping at full force. The world turn upside down as the mind-blowing kiss lifted me off my feet and made me feel like I was riding through the clouds.

We broke the kiss with a grin and simply leaned back to lay down on his mattress and stare at the light in his room. He then landed his eyes at mine, taking my hand in his and said “You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that.”

“Not as long as I have, I’ll bet.” I giggled, remembering that first time I saw him inside that bus.

We stared at each other’s eyes for a few seconds and started to kiss again. First being slow about it and then picking up the pace until our tongues met for the first time. I think I got fully hard all at once in that exact moment! His warm tongue was smooth but provided just the right amount of friction to drive me crazy. God he was such a good kisser! He was even better in real life than in my dreams! We grinded up against each other for what seemed like an eternity, making out and wrestling with our tongues before we got the urge to get on top of each other. We rolled around in our back, sometimes resting my body on his and sometimes his gentle weight pinning me, never losing the suction between our lip lock and whimpering and breathing into the warmth of each other’s mouths. It was then when I got on top of him where things got a lot more serious. I rested my frame on top of him while my hardness bumped and grinded against his through our pants. I used my weight to put more pressure on it as our steady kisses evolved from ravaging each other to a slow passionate suction that made me more lightheaded than I already was. One of his hands managed to lift my sweater up as the other one rubbed me in the softness of my flat stomach. Derrick, sensing the jump of the bulge through my pants, started lowering his hands from my stomach and in to the front of my pants, rubbing it tenderly and massaging the hardness through my pants. The maneuver caused me to whimper loudly into his mouth and I was almost ready to let go. He lifted my sweater all the way and moved down to suck lovingly at my nipples as I held him on his golden locks. He was so good at doing that! Using a bit of his teeth and swiping it a few times his tongue to increase the sensitivity of the tight brown nipple. I let out a soft moan through my pursed lips and he took that as a sign to take it further.

After groping and massaging my hardness through my pants, he took a step further and made his move. Undoing the button and lowering my zipper, finally releasing me from the aching prison of my pants. He took it in his hand and I gasped, squeezing it and almost making me wiggle out of my skin in the process. Wow, we’re really doing this aren’t we?! After a few more loving squeezes and a few tugs through my boxers, he finally couldn’t get enough. He unsnapped the button of my boxers and felt around inside with his smooth warm hand before finally pulling my inches out, making me moan and whimper out loud in the process. I took the initiative and stood up to remove my sweater and pants all the way. Exposing myself to him fully for the first time. He laid there awestruck to the exposure I was giving him. I gave him a seductive smile and told him to get naked too. He basically ripped his clothes off and gave me a good look at his naked body. He started by taking off his shirt, exposing his slim hips and smooth milky skin, his teenage pecs containing the cutest, pink, button-sized nipples. His flat stomach that had the perfect oval shaped navel where I could just bury my tongue for hours on end. It was then that he started that he removed his belt that my breath got caught up in my throat. Omigod, omigod, omigod. He turned around, his back to me and slowly lowered his pants teasing me a bit and shaking it at me. He lowered his pants, first getting off his smooth, pale teen butt and then lowering them and puddling them down his feet. My hardness throbbed as I saw a glimpse of his balls while he raised his legs to get out of his pants. And as if in slow-motion he turned around and showed me the most beautiful of erections ever! It was just the right size, about six inches, smooth white shaft with a sculpted head at the tip, a little hair just reaching the peach fuzz stage at the base, and pink chestnut-sized balls underneath. It was so mouth-watering that I swooned at the sight of it while my hardness jumped. I was so eager to be able to get a taste.

We met at the middle of the bed and our lips connecting in a passionate lip lock that seemed to stop time in its tracks. Whimpering, exhaling, hot breaths passing between our sucking mouths. His kiss alone was almost enough to set me off. We haven’t gotten into the best part yet. Laying down on top of him fully naked was a divine experience. His skin was so smooth that it almost felt like warm liquid when it grinded against mine. His warm breath gliding against my cheek, making me kiss harder, and caress his back faster, our hips twisting and pumping, making our erections wrestle in between… I couldn’t get enough. But Derrick wanted more, one more thing we wanted to do but didn’t start until the other needed it. Wanting to be the first to taste, Derrick rolled around and laid me on my back. He gave me a kiss on the lips before delivering a few kisses down from my neck, to my chest, and to my navel. He wanted me to look at him pleasuring me, so he held my throbbing hardness in his hand, stroking me a bit and waiting for me to look up at him. And when I did, he slowly leaned his head down and gave my tip a small kiss and a lick, making me jump from the new sensations that he was giving me at that moment. And after a few seconds of savoring his first taste of my manhood, he had a light grip at it again and took inside as far as he could within his mouth.

My head crashed back then on the pillows. The warm wetness of his mouth around my inches, the friction of his tongue against the underside of my shaft, the feel of his breath on the hairs around the base. It was like heaven on earth, there’s nothing else like it, it felt soooo good! He continued to wrap and massage my inches within the confines of his sweet mouth while his hands went to work with caressing the top of my thighs, then massaging and lightly squeezing my balls, and grabbing the bottom of my butt from under me. I was moaning soooo hard, it’s hard to believe this kind of sex would bring this out of you. After a few minutes lost in his service, I couldn’t take anymore. My mouth was watering since he took of his pants and showed me his young beautiful cock. My tongue practically dying for a taste. And besides, I wanted my first orgasm with him to be special. So I got up a bit, making sure not to disconnect with the mind-blowing service he was giving me and took a hold of his young cock in my hand. It was soooo warm! Wow, I never felt body heat like this before. And god was it soft and hard at the same time! This felt so sexy. My touch surprised him, new to this kind of pleasure as well, but he didn’t protest. He showed his approval by letting out a sensual moan and sucking my erection harder than before, and I nearly came if I didn’t hold out for him. So I stroked him with my hand hoping to give him back a bit of the pleasure that he has been giving me this whole time. I sped up my hand movements, his mouth doing the same, and I was just about ready to shoot when I signaled to him that I wanted more. So he eased on a bit with his bobbing mouth and rotated and swiveled his body to straddle my face. It left his hard cock dangling just inches from my face, and I reached up with my lips and took him into my mouth for the first time. The sensation gave him a bit of a surprise at first, easing up and slowing down on the service he was giving me before and waiting for me to get my rhythm and for me to catch up. The taste, the heat, the scent, I took it them all. The combination of the three was so addicting that it made me wonder why people bothered with not having sex at all, hehehe. As we were picking up the pace, bobbing faster and faster, constricting my lips and sucking harder at his young cock, I felt the point of no return. He seemed to be nearing it too. His pace, faster that it has ever been, his knees weak to the point of buckling and pinning my head, and his balls drawing up to the base of his shaft. It was then that he raised himself and pulled out of my mouth and released on of the most intense looking orgasms ever. He was making a lot of noise! Humming and purring, his mouth vibrating around my shaft, appreciating the service I just gave him. His seed shot out, landing in my chest and shoulders, I held his cock again and took it in my mouth trying to catch the remaining spurts of seed. And when the taste of his delicious seed hit the surface of my tongue and went down my throat, I couldn’t take anymore. I had the strongest orgasms that rivalled even my first ever wet dream years ago. My seed shot out, leaving my shaft and depositing into Derrick’s eager mouth, swallowing as much as he can before the next shot would come out. We both stayed still for a few minutes, no doubt both fatigued from our first ever experience of real sex. Our bodies tingling and our skin shining in a sexual afterglow. I was then that he swivelled again, but not before kissing my limp member one last time, and brought his beautiful face next to mine. We embraced for the longest time, giant smirks on our faces until we both opened our eyes, almost at the same time.

“Hehehe” I giggled, apparently speechless from it all. “So… what now?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t care either…as long as we get to do that AGAIN! And soon!” He said.

“And again….?”

“And again!”

“And AGAIN!!!” We both shouted at the same time, giggling at the thought before connecting lips again.

While we could have used the remaining part of the afternoon to have sex again… believe it or actually didn’t, we laid there naked, and we just talked like we always did. But this time… It was more special, it had no restrictions, no masks, nothing to hide. Derrick proved that I was no freak, that I was no outcast from society, he brought me out of darkness by showing me his awesome light and the life from his pretty blue eyes. And most important of all, Derrick prove that I can love and be loved too. And that made me happiest the happiest boy on earth… We still did kiss into the evening though hehehe, we couldn’t get enough of each other! We just became boyfriends after all!

I finally got up, and wore my clothes again still high from Derrick’s kiss when I heard the driver honk outside of Derrick’s house. Hm, he must have figured I was here. But when I thought about it more… Hehe my driver would have waited while I had sex, If I got myself driven here. Hahaha.

Derrick walked me to the door. Kinda bashful but happy about what happened and asked.


“Well…?” I replied. Still sheepish and giggly about it myself. “Hehehe, I guess this is the weird part, huh?”

“Yeah, maybe. But…I know I want to see you again though.” He said.

I was happy to hear that. And I simply replied “Me too.” And I kissed him on his cheek then leaned into his ear and whispered the words that I thought I would never get to say to another boy ever.

“I love you, Derrick.”

“I love you too…” He said. And I kissed him for the last time of the day and left for the car outside.

When there’s darkness in my life I’ll just think about Derrick’s light and I’ll never be lonely again. I can’t wait to see him again!

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