Legal Disclaimer: Celebrity quotes are products of the imagination of IM staff or contributors. The Celebrity portrayed has neither been in contact with us or confirmed his sexual preference, dating habits or preferred brand of prophylactic (that we do genuinely hope he chooses to use BTW). The above-displayed advertisement is intended for the purpose of being humorous, no other intent is implied. Said humor may be unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. Please view with caution. Additionally, unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this disclaimer, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this advertisement, although the yorkshire terrier next door is living on borrowed time, you should see him. It’s just horrible. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this disclaimer backward, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft or anything else they decide to send you for that matter. However, should you choose to play it safe, pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. So, there’s always that, which is nice. Those still reading this disclaimer at this point get extra points which have no monetary value whatsoever and are not redeemable for gifts or prizes anywhere that we are aware of. No purchase necessary but, if you decide to buy this brand of condom, we wish you luck finding it on shelves because as we stated earlier, not real. In the event that they were real though, the following warning would be definitely required, mainly just to drag this out a little longer…
WARNING: This product was developed on equipment that was manufactured in a plant in the same city as a factory that uses parts from a country that has used chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer.
If somehow you have considered something we should disclaim but have failed to specify, consider it added by the virtue of your thought process being more anal than even our own. All disclaimed disclaimers being disclaimed using this method claim very little as disclaimers go but, we thank you for your contribution… Oh, and we claim no ownership of the claims disclaimed that you claim to disclaim, so meh.
Disclaimer Courtesy of: ACFan, TrueFan, and JeffsFort

Published August 15, 2018