This is a question that I’ve asked from time to time whenever the issue came up in conversation, but I’d like to get a bigger answer from you guys who might not have replied n the past. Might as well add it to the magazine! So here goes:
Imagine that someone that you don’t have any real feelings for or any relationship…maybe even someone you barely know at all…decided they had the hots for you. They could have picked anybody, but they chose you. And their crush exists whether you return it or not. How does that make you feel?
Now don’t bother saying, “I’m old and ugly and stupid and no one will ever want me,” because that’s just not true. Everybody is somebody’s dream boy! And pessimism is unattractive, so…focus! Hehehe!
If you knew that someone was seriously interested in you, how would you react to that? Does it make you uncomfortable? Do you feel the need to return those feelings? Maybe you like it! It makes for one hell of an ego stroke, doesn’t it? Are you shy about it? Do you find a sense of humor about it? Do you rush to tell them you’re not interested so they can stop? Or maybe you think it’s harmless and keep from mentioning it.
Some people are truly flattered by the idea of having someone else find the beauty in who they are. Then again, some people are creeped out by the fact that some stranger might be stroking himself silly to thoughts of you naked every night before bed! There’s a wide spectrum of feelings there.
I was just interested in your thoughts on this. And remember, we’re not talking ‘sexual harassment’ here. No inappropriate touches or dirty comments, nothing like that. This is just someone that thinks you’re really cute, and a good person, and they chose you to be the object of their affections. Let us know what goes through your heart and mind in these situations! Inquiring minds want to know!
“I would feel flattered although I would find it slightly awkward if I had no feeling in return unless it was someone that I very rarely saw. I have had a couple of women in the last few years declaring their undying love for me and pestering me to the point of obsession when I felt nothing in return, One was a really nice person who eventually got the message and is now happy with someone else and the other turned out to be a serial nut job so I had to sever all contact with her and luckily I haven’t heard from her since.
The only time I went to a gay bar a young guy was hitting on me really hard all evening which I definitely found flattering at first even though I wasn’t attracted to him, although after a couple of hours it did begin to grate on me a little and his boyfriend didn’t look too impressed either hehe.” – Tricky71
“Hah it’s simple it’s something that happens all the time when you’re out and about!
It’s been happening since forever and will continue happen forever it’s life and no big deal. Older people here should know it, real young kids will find out because it’s for sure it’s going to happen to them. The solution is to let them down gently.
If it’s a one night stand like just sex I just say nicely ‘sorry babe I’m not looking for that tonight and anyhow I’m with my other half’ and if we’re in a club or something I’d buy them a drink and talk about wtv. I don’t think anyone is into lifelong relationship feels they fancy you and it’s all about sex that night. Guys or girls don’t see you or vice versa and think ‘I’m in love with you’ it’s more like ‘I’m in lust with with you I wanna get it on with you’ fact. Falling in love can happen fast but not instantly it grows you have to get to know each other, respect each other, admire each other etc. and yeh it often starts with lust and sex. Nobody is gonna fall in love with a loser that has no ambition in life, no respect for himself/herself. They’re the type that are like ‘I’m not looking for a relationship I wanna stay single’ when all the time they no they have nothing to offer and know they couldn’t sustain a relationship. You younger kids will find out this is true you’ll come across them just don’t be one of them. Wtv just be gentle saying no I’m not interested. It is flattering definitely not annoying it’s something that can be sorted. I’ve been on the ‘sorry mate not interested’ end in the past and it knocks your ego for a while but a few minutes and you’re over it I’m not one of those guys that make out everybody is after me and doesn’t have to do a bit of chasing they should be so lucky if they’re on that pedestal lolz. I wasn’t looking to marry those people whether male or female I was looking at a dirty night of lust like all night sex nothing else 🙂 If you have the hots for someone and the other person doesn’t have the same vibes don’t let it bug you kids it’s part of life’s experiences you’ll see.” – Sam
“In the 7th Grade, this girl in my English class asked me if I would marry her. School had been in session for all of three days. :blink: She asked her question during what was supposed to be “quiet time”, so people could do their assignments, read books, or catch up on work for other classes. I had my nose stuck in a book at the time (of course), so I was completely unprepared for it, and it really made me turn red. Her two friends, who were also sitting at our particular “quad” kind of giggled at me then, and that made my blood pressure rise for a different reason. Instead of blurting something really nasty at her, I curtly replied, “Sorry, but I don’t swing that way.” Soooo….yeah, not a great first experience. 😛
If it had been a guy, though, I probably would’ve been really flattered if he admitted it in a more subtle way, like maybe writing a note. Once, I pulled a favorite library book off the shelf, and a little slip of paper fell out. I thought it was a due date receipt, but it turned out to be a little cartoon my friend Nicky had drawn of us on a Ferris wheel. Later, he said that he wanted to go to the Cherry Festival with me the following summer. I was already dating someone else at the time, so I told him I was flattered, but I just didn’t feel the same way. It was a sweet gesture, though. :/” – Page Scrawler
“I can’t say that I’ve ever really been ‘disturbed’ by it…
There have been a few times in my life where this has happened, and I wasn’t freaked out by it. But it did make me feel as though I was on display for that particular person. And sometimes I felt awkward about being too friendly for fear of having it misinterpreted as something else. But I found it flattering. Why feel awkward about it?
I had a best friend from when I was younger that I had sex with on a few occasions, which was fun and all…but it ended up being the only thing he wanted to do whenever I came over. It may sound silly now, but I kind of wanted my best friend back. I wanted to play Nintendo and read comic books and watch slasher flicks on VHS. So that infatuation eventually led to the end of our friendship. Not in a bad way, we just grew apart. But that would be the extent of me feeling weird about someone having a crush on me. I guess it falls somewhere between the possibility of hurting them and the possibility of leading them on when I don’t mean to.
Other than that…you can stare at my ass all you want! Hehehe! I’m proud to have a positive effect on people, even though I might be shy about a lot of things, you never know. I might develop a crush myself. Hehehe! In which case…you should run away! Trust me, I’m no good for you!” – Comicality
“Not really disturbed, no.
To be honest, I’ll say that it makes me a little nervous… It’s not that the crush itself makes me so but the thought of failing to live up to their fantasies does. I mean, truth be told, who wouldn’t want to be the best for that person who likes you? I constantly find myself thinking “What does he/she like about me?”. I think I would always find myself looking in the mirror for *anything* that might suddenly make them lose interest. If that happens then I would assess myself harder everyday, check for anything “flawed” and try to fix that as much as possible.
With all that said however, that’s not to say that I don’t like it hehehe. If they want to uh… *ahem* “relieve” themselves on the thoughts of me then go ahead LOL, its free anyway and no harm done. And, of course I’ll try to be nice to them, and maybe even tease them a bit if I’m up for it hehehe. :)” – MasterM
“I’m sort of in that situation right now.
There is a guy that’s been working me for a couple of years now. I love him like a brother and I consider him a dear friend . . . but,
he want’s more. It helps me to feel desireable which is something that I never feel, but, at the same time, I just don’t have those kinds of feelings for him. He knows this, but continues to try.
I’ve given him opportunities to show me ‘his stuff’, but he doesn’t take the bait. I wanted to see if something could grow from such an encounter, but no…
Its tragic really. I might have to write a story to process it one day.” – MrM