SEX!!! (Hehehe, that got your attention, didn’t it?) Fun to read about, fun to think about, even more fun to actually have some when you get the opportunity…but, do you find it difficult to talk about? Openly? Honestly? Does it make you uncomfortable to approach the topic? Will you have to fight through personal obstacles just to answer this month’s question?
From what I remember through most of my life, sex has always been a very awkward situation when it came to just opening up and revealing your true thoughts on it. Clumsy for parents to talk to their kids about it. Religion is afraid to promote it as a positive thing. Schools have made it damn near illegal to educate kids about it for fear of making them promiscuous. Many people spend their childhoods thinking that it’s some deeply guarded secret and mystery, something awful and deadly and disgusting and evil. How can that not linger into adulthood? What’s so embarrassing about sex? If you had a choice, what would you rather be doing than having hot, passionate, sex right now? Hehehe, seriously.
It’s easy to click a few buttons online late at night with your bedroom door locked. But in everyday life, online, or even on The Shack forum, where sexual questions and conversations are not only accepted, but are heavily encouraged…do you still feel any hang ups about discussing it? Does it embarrass you? Does it make you feel dirty or naughty or like it will change the way people look at you?
I understand that it’s personal…but in a place that is actually full of people willing to talk openly about it…I’d think it would be a huge sigh of relief.
Give us your thoughts on this! I don’t mind talking about sex myself, but it’s not like I don’t have limits. Hehehe! Sex makes a lot of people really NERVOUS. Why? It’s the most natural part of human existence. It’s the only reason we’re still here as a species, so…who told you it was such a dirty thing to talk about?
“I once did but no longer do.
My hangups were religious. In the general mindfack that is Catholicism, to even harbor ‘impure thoughts’ about sinful sexual practice is a sin. Sex can only exist inside of marriage for the purpose of making babies.
Its existence in any other way is almost always sin. Hence the root of our Western World’s deep seeded mistrust and fear of sex. Hence my fear and mistrust of it. I got to where I was so riddled with guilt for who I was and what I wanted that I became suicidal . . . which is also a sin! Cruel, ya think?
So, basically, God, who invented sex for us to do, hates it and doesn’t want any of us doing it. What?
Anyways, so that I could survive, I threw that crap out of my head, came out, and lived happily ever after or whatever. Now my only hangup about talking about sex is the jaundiced attitudes of others about it and the fear that I might ‘corrupt’ somebody. I keep silent in respect to them, but, if those people aren’t around I’m perfectly happy talking about anything sexual or writing about it.
My revised attitudes about sex can be illustrated by my feelings about going into adult toy stores those being that, basically, I have no feelings about it. I now go in like I’m going to a 7/11 to pick up ding dongs just these are different kinds of ding dongs. I will often have some friends with me and I’ll stop by my favorite one. They get weirded out and hesitate before finally coming in with me to look at the products being sold. The clinical way the sales guy always explains the toys is so frank and matter of fact that it puts you at immediate ease. You realize just how mechanical sex is and how natural. There’s nothing to be ashamed of and usually that releases my friends from their hang ups too.” – MrM
“It depends…If the conversation goes to sex – I’m not going to have any problem talking about it – but I’m not going to just bring it up out of nowhere. ” – Comrade Jake
“For me, not really…I find it completely normal, I’ve talked about it with my dad, and teachers and friends. Actually, here in school they teach us about it in the most normal way and they make sure that we know that it’s totally normal and that it’s not taboo. So yeah, it’s not hard for me hehehe.” –Fanson
“I’ve gotten rid of most of my hang-ups about sex. Of course, I’m hardly going to shares the deets about my personal life with Morgan, but I have no issues discussing sex in clinical terms. This past summer, my young brother-in-law, Mickey, stayed as a guest with his brother and I while their parents took an extended vacation in Canada. At one point, the poor kid had mistakenly used some shampoo as a body wash on his “nether regions”, which required a trip to the doctor for a prescription. As such, the topic of hygiene and sexual health came up at several points. Mickey resisted a bit when I tried convincing him to use deodorant after playing soccer with his friends, but he finally gave in after I explained WHY deodorant is necessary. Especially for boys his age, all the more so when he’s very athletic. Stubbornness aside, he was very open and forthcoming with questions about why people’s bodies function and change the way they do, and I was honored to provide him with the answers.” –PageScrawler
“I can’t say that I’ve ever really thought of sex as being really ‘taboo’. Now, that doesn’t mean that I can’t tell when such a discussion might be inappropriate! Hehehe, obviously, it’s not a conversation to have in the back pew of your local church, or in front of your kindergarten class just before nap time! But, in the right place at the right time…I can be open about sex. Why not? There may be some situations that are personal, and I won’t discuss because it (obviously) involves someone else, and it’s not my place to disrupt their privacy like that. it’s not for me to share. But, between the people who have had sex, the people who are actively having sex currently, and the people who are looking forward to having sex in the future…I don’t think there’s even been any reason to feel any shame or guilt about it, other than we were told we were ‘supposed’ to. And I’m as stubborn as they come! Hehehe, so telling me what I’m ‘supposed’ to feel is pretty much guaranteeing you the opposite result than the one you were looking for. So, in the words of Pinnochio…’I’ve got no strings to hold me down!’ Thank goodness!” – Comicality
“Depends on the person. Some friends I don’t really talk it about it all, some friends the conversations go as as discussing whether sex is occurring but don’t go into details, one or two friends I talk about it in graphic detail! I also find talking about sex with people online than talking about it face to face, and easier to talk to strangers than people I know in real life. I try to tailor my responses to the audience… so here in public on the board I might be more circumspect than if I was talking to someone one-on-one where I know a bit about who I’m talking to.” –Cirrus
“I’m open about my own sex life (as last night proved in spades), but I can’t talk to my boyfriend about sex. We have this block between us and talking about sex always leads to a fight or to one or both of us going silent, so we just sort of not deal with any of it and don’t have any sex. But with anyone else I’m happy to talk about my experiences.” Hunter Thomson
“It depends. It definitely depends who I am talking to, Some people I would just have no desire to talk about sex with, Others I can be more open and frank with. To be honest its not a subject that comes up that often (I must have a boring life Hehe.)” –Tricky71