I found myself fidgeting in my seat during the few short moments that Jaylen was gone. You know, there’s a point where you get old enough to recognize your own emotions well enough to be able to rein them in. You don’t expect to be surprised as often as you were as an adolescent. And yet, here I am…feeling something that seemed so ‘brand new’ to me. It had only been an hour since we started talking, but I can honestly say that Jaylen had charmed me into being proud of the young man that he had become. It was flattering to have him even consider sharing his sunshine personality with me, if only for a little while.

Geez, am I blushing now? What the heck is wrong with me?

When Jaylen came rushing back to our booth, he sat down and gave me a giant grin. “Sorry.”

“Sorry? For going to the bathroom while you’re drinking? Hehehe, hardly a need for apologies.” I told him.

“Yeah, but…things were just getting ‘interesting’. You know?”

I’m not going to pretend that I was certain what he meant by that, so I attempted to deflect his cheerful approach with a rather mundane question. “So…how are you liking the college life, so far?”

“Oh…well…” He started. “It’s fun and all. I feel a bit cheated, to be honest, but I’m having a good time, I guess.”

“Cheated?”

“Yeah.” He took a sip of his drink and leaned forward a bit. “I mean, it’s like I spent all of Junior High and High School preparing for this giant evolutionary jump into college. All of my teachers made it seem like it was going to be soooo much harder than anything that I’ve ever dealt with before. They made me think it was so serious and so challenging and so important. Dude…college is chill as fuck! I only have a few classes a week, not much homework, and I mostly just watch TV and play video games most of the time. I’d take college over the day to day grind of high school bullshit any day.”

I grinned to myself. “Yeah. I kind of remember my first experience with college life being a breeze too.”

“I know, right? All that hype for nothing.” His giggles were so sweet. It was hard not to notice how cute he could be without even trying. I decided to focus on my drink instead of him. Wasn’t I supposed to be wrapping things up here? Get me out of here.

“Well, it’s good to hear that you’re having an easy time of it. That’s a good thing.” I said.

“Yeah. Definitely.” He smiled. Then he seemed to wiggle a bit in his seat, another smirk spreading out on his lovely face. “So….about this ‘deal breaker’ of yours…hehehe!”

Yikes! He’s not going to leave this alone, is he?

I said, “It’s in the past. Let it go.” I smiled, and so did he, but it was clear that he wasn’t quite finished ‘interrogating’ me yet.

“Is it, though? Because you still look…kinda…cool, to me.”

I snickered, “I’m flattered. Thank you.”

“I wasn’t the only one on the team that thought it might be hot to get with you, ya know?” He asked. What the heck was he doing to me??? I don’t want to hear this!

“Jaylen…”

“No, I’m serious! There were a few other guys on the team that used to talk about you too. Just so you know.” He said.

“Wait…there were other gay boys on the track team that year?”

He laughed out loud. “Believe it or not…gay people are everywhere. Spoiler alert! Hehehe!” But then he said, “Although, some of them weren’t really gay. I think they were just curious. I could always tell the ‘fair weather fairies’ from the real deal. Some of them were just horny and desperately looking for an outlet to spice up the hand-to-shaft sex life they were involved in before. But hey…all to my benefit. So you’ll get no complaints out of me.”

When the idea hit me, I couldn’t stop myself from giving him a look of mild shock when he told me that. It made him laugh. “Wait…what are you telling me here? Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Hahaha! Yes. I fooled around with other guys on the team. Quite a few of them in fact.” His blush returned with a fury. He was so cute when he blushed. “Everybody said that they wanted to keep it a secret, but I’m pretty sure they whispered to one another about what happened. Once I gave Brett Hardy a few blowjobs in the locker room, I started getting other teammates to suddenly approach me to see if we could be…friends. I didn’t mind, though. I was horny, like, ALL the time! So I definitely welcomed the opportunity to get another rock hard piece of meat in my mouth as often as possible.”

I was floored by this! “Brett Hardy? He was gay?” I asked.

“He was for the few minutes it took for me to get him off. That’s all I know.” Jaylen smiled. “His balls were really sensitive. If I fondled them when I sucked him off, it was like he couldn’t last more than a minute or two. I think he gave me the biggest loads of anyone else on the track team. I kinda liked that.”

My mind was having trouble even processing what he was telling me. I mean, they were just kids, weren’t they? How could I possibly be completely oblivious to this whole world of sex and debauchery before now? “How many boys did you…ahem…’experiment’ with?”

“Hehehe! Experiment? Oh no, Coach. These weren’t experiments. We were fucking!” Jaylen saw my eyes widen and my jaw drop, and he had to put his drink down on the table to keep from spilling it while he laughed at me. “Omigod! Your face! Don’t get so freaked out. It was the most normal thing in the world. We were just having fun, that’s all. It wasn’t that big a deal at the time.”

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing right now.” I said.

Jaylen took another sip of his drink, and he said, “I did it with Brett, and Jordan, and Michael…a few times with Dillon…and then there was Todd. Todd was my favorite. I wish I could have kept that going. He was really into being passionate. He was a really good kisser too.”

Attempting to keep my composure, I asked, “Wow…well, what happened there? Between you two?”

“It was really hot and heavy for a while, and I loved the sex, but…I don’t know. He wanted us to do it all the time, and I’d come over, and we’d get naked, and screw for an hour or two before his Mom came home from work. But it just wasn’t what I wanted, I don’t think.”

“Didn’t you tell him that you were tired of meaningless sex and wanted something more?”

Jaylen grinned and said, “No. I told him that I was tired of being on top all the time.” His smile widened as he looked me in the eye, and I made sure to divert my attention back down to the tablecloth.

I think he got a kick out of making me feel clumsy about talking this way.

“Don’t get shy on me, now.” He giggled. “If nothing else, I was making sure that my teammates stayed relaxed and undistracted from carnal pleasures. I’m probably the reason we made it to the top that year. So…you’re welcome.”

“Glad to know that you were willing to take one for the team.” I joked.

“I took plenty for the team. Believe me. Hehehe!” His coment caused me to laugh nervously, and he seemed to really like that. “I always thought you were super handsome, Coach. That’s the honest to goodness truth. I used to have dreams about you in high school. Some of them were even ‘dry’!”

“Alright…now you’re just making things up.” I said, my brain trying to find a way to move on to the next topic so I could find a more effective way to gently bring our night to an end.

“I’m not. It’s true.” He said. I laughed it off. He was being sweet, but I was trying not to string him along if I could help it. “What’s so funny?”

“Sorry, Jaylen. I’m just not buying it.”

“Why not?”

“You’re just horny, that’s all.” I said.

“Not really. I jack off twice a day. You won’t find any toxic sperm build up over here, that’s for sure.”

“You’re playing a prank, then, right? Put one over on your old coach?”

Jaylen hook his head. “I’m not the prankster type. And you’re not that old.”

Our eyes met for a moment, and I said, “I get it…you’ve got some kind of ‘daddy’ issues bottled up inside. Right?”

He shook his head again, never taking his eyes off of me as he directed his alluring smile in my direction. “Nope. My dad and I get along great. My parents have been married for 22 years, and my dad is awesome.” Then he snickered to himself. “Why can’t I just think that you’re sexy?”

“I thought you said ‘handsome’ before…” I said.

“I was being polite.”

“Yeah, well…you should stick to that.” I teased. I was doing my best to keep some emotional distance from him, but I was being honest when I said that I was flattered by his comments. To the point of feeling a little flustered, actually. The more I looked at his face, his eyes always drawing me into a full blown stare…the more I realized how stunningly gorgeous he was. My goodness…he was the personification of instant infatuation. I almost felt like some kind of troll just sitting in the same booth as him.

Sorry. I just don’t have this kind of luck. It’s hard to accept that situations like these even happen to people in the real world. I’m a little shaken, here.

“You’re blushing.” He giggled. “I’ve never seen you blush before. It’s cute.”

“Alright, knock it off. Now you’re just getting fresh.”

“I’m serious. Why won’t you believe me?”

“Whatever.”

“Fine. i’ll keep my observations to myself from now on, then.” He said.

“Good. That would be great.”

But Jaylen only waited a second or two before quietly adding, “Still think it’s cute though.” I tried to hold my chuckles back, but they escaped before I could get a good handle on them.

“You are a real piece of work, you know that? Hehehe!” I said, getting Jaylen to raise his glass, waiting for me to give him an appropriate ‘clink’ before we both took another healthy gulp or two of our drinks. I could tell by the look on his face that he wasn’t a total novice when it came to alcohol, but he wasn’t anywhere near as practiced as I was. His indulgent swallow had obviously stung him a bit, causing me to laugh quietly.

He smiled back at me, and then finished his drink until there was nothing but a few ice cubes left. His eyes met mine, and I asked him what he was thinking about. He said, “I was thinking that maybe it was time to get out of this place.”

My heart sank a little, but I expected this would all come to an end at some point. “Understandable. It’s the holiday season, after all. I take it you’re looking forward to getting back to being alone?”

He grinned mischievously, “I said I wanted to get out of here. I didn’t say anything about being ‘alone’.” His smile widened, but despite his confident words, his blush gave his shy nature away. “Do you live around here, or…?”

I playfully scoffed at the idea. “If you need a ride home…”

“I need a ‘ride’…but home isn’t what I had in mind. If you catch my drift.”

Yikes! I laughed out loud. Louder than I probably should have. I didn’t mean to be rude. Maybe it was my nervous jitters that made me do it. Who knows?

“You are quite an aggressive flirt, you know that?” I said.

“Well…subtlety is for people with patience.” He gazed into my eyes again, and he stayed silent while he watched me squirm uncomfortably in my seat…waiting for my answer.

“Ummm…I don’t think so, Jaylen. You’re sweet, but…”

“Why not? Let’s go hang out somewhere.”

“You’re a bit young, don’t you think?”

“Hehehe, I’m 19 years old. I can do whatever I want, short of gambling.”

“Well, you being in this bar with me right now is a gamble in itself.” I answered.

But he came back with, “See? My point exactly. Trust me, I can get you into much more trouble, sitting here, sipping illegal drinks out of a half-washed bar glass, than I could with whatever we get up to at your place.”

My heart sped up when he said that. Jesus! STOP THAT! “Whatever we get up to?” I asked with a smirk.

“Yeah, like…whatever. We’ll just hang out. Whatever happens…happens. What do you say?” I hesitated, and Jaylen added, “Or I can ask the bartender to get us another round. It’s up to you. I think he likes seeing me smile. He keeps looking over at our table anyway.” I sighed out loud, wondering if I would have the strength to turn him down. Wondering if he was testing me. Wondering if this was some kind of prank that him and his friends from the team could laugh over once they caught me outside and took a cell phone pic to post on the internet. But Jaylen insisted, “Look, I’m not drunk, or even mildly intoxicated. I don’t have any emotional issues going on in my head, and you’re not doing anything to take advantage or manipulate me. I just…I’m having a good time tonight. I don’t want it to end with a simple hug and a wave goodbye. Let’s talk some more. It’s rare that I get to do this with anybody. Don’t flake out on me.”

I laughed. “You DO realize that peer pressure isn’t quite as effective after high school, right?”

“Come on…you know you want me to come over to your place. I’m cool with that. We’ll just watch TV or something. Ok?”

“My place? Who said anything about coming over to my place?”

“I just assumed.” He smiled. “It’ll be quiet there. We won’t have to talk over a ‘Christmas Caroling’ jukebox all night. Besides, I want to see what your Christmas tree looks like.”

“I don’t have a Christmas tree.” I said.

“What? How can you not have a Christmas tree up for Christmas?”

“Hehehe, I didn’t know that I needed one.”

“Everybody needs one. Dude, where’s your Christmas spirit?” Jaylen giggled.

“Well, my Christmas spirit is a little on the dull side this year, alright.”

“Well, a Christmas tree would help!” His smile seemed to make those boyish brown eyes of his sparkle with an intensity that made it hard for me to breathe. Is he really being serious right now? I mean…can I even entertain the idea of taking a boy like this home with me tonight? Or are my insecurities going to ruin my one opportunity to get this close to someone who truly enchants me, mind, body, and soul?

As he stared into my eyes, his contagious smile bringing a rush of reckless endorphins into my heart, pumping it out to every part of my body to the point where the next few words to leave my mouth gave me goosebumps.

“Alright. Sure. I suppose we could…hang out for a while.”

Dear God…what am I doing?

He giggled again, and he said, “Well…hurry up and finish your drink then, so we can go.”

I asked, “Why do I get the feeling that you’re dangerous, ‘Rocket’?”

And he answered, “I dunno…prolly because I’m dangerous. Hehehe! But is that such a bad thing?” Following it up with, “Besides, what else were you planning to do with your night…besides chatting it up with me? Right?”

I gulped down what was left of my drink and i made sure to tell him, “I’m not guaranteeing you anything by doing this, you know?”

“Duly noted.” He grinned.

“I mean it. We’re just hanging out.”

“We’ll see.” He giggled.

“Jaylen…no games. Just conversation and good company. You hear me?”

He stood up, and said, “Sure thing. Whatever you say, ‘Coach’.” And then he touched my hand before taking his empty glass up to the bar.

Oh wow…I actually agreed to take him back to my house for a while. Is this…? I mean…I feel guilty. Should I feel guilty? I was feeling SO conflicted!

But when Jaylen came back and I was ready to payout on my tab, he gave me one of the most adorable smiles that I had ever seen, lightly sweeping his fingers through the soft brown locks on his forehead…and I couldn’t honestly say that I regretted my decision.

Not one bit.

Published January 13, 2019