“I still can’t believe how friggin’ FINE that boy is!” Silas said to me, taking a few sips from his red plastic cup. Some sort of tropical fruit punch concoction that was spiked with something ‘miscellaneous’ to make this high school sophomore party a little bit more festive.
“You’ve got to stop gawking at him like that, Silas. C’mon, man…you’re gonna come off like some kind of creep.” I said.
“I’ll be that. Totally worth it.” He smiled. “Seriously, Jamie…just look at him. I know you want to.” I can’t say that he was wrong. I did want to look. I mean, it’s not like I haven’t been noticing him over the past few weeks. That was a torture in itself. You spend two thirds of your time in middle school figuring out that you like boys in an unnaturally romantic way, and just when you feel like you’re getting a handle on this confusing mess…the district sends you to a giant high school with the most gorgeous boys EVER from all of the local middle schools in the immediate area all at once. And now you’re stuck in a secure building five days a week with every hottie alive, all while trying to fight off your raging hormones long enough to get home and jack yourself silly to finally get some relief. But this mesmerizing piece of unmerciful eye candy? He was in a whole different category from what we were used to. “That boy is like a week’s worth of wet dreams all rolled up into one. What I wouldn’t give to put my legs over that boy’s shoulders and let him have his way with me. Just once! My God, I think I’d, legit, sell my soul for a shot at that.”
I realize that there are some tragic stories out there where teens like Silas and me get bullied and made fun of for being gay, the only alternative, of course, being to suppress all of our emotions and hide away in the proverbial ‘closet’ until we’re too old to drool over fit young twinks anymore without having any hangups about it. But, that’s not the case here. Maybe we just got lucky. I came out last year and was easily accepted, both by my friends and my family. Silas came out even younger than I did, and hasn’t had any real problems with it either. Is it weird that I kind of wish I had a more interesting tale full of drama and woe when it comes to being different from the majority of my classmates? I don’t know. But the whole thing was a bit anti-climactic in terms of having a coming out story to tell.
However, as cliche as it sounds…with the whole school knowing that we’re gay, and being open minded enough to still hang out and be friends and even invite us to a big house party like this…Silas and I always end up leaning up against the wall somewhere in a quiet corner of the festivities…scanning the room and talking about how hot the boys are and how much we’d love to pounce on them the moment we thought we had a green light to take a chance at it. It had just become a predictable party habit at this point.
But…as boy crazy as we both were…our attention always ended up on Ricky.
Always on Ricky.
Silas encouraged me to keep drinking, but I wasn’t a fan of being too intoxicated. I mean, getting a little tipsy and having a few laughs with good friends was one thing…but I don’t like being out of control. The second I stand up and feel like my balance is a bit off, or my head is starting to feel a bit dizzy, I’m pretty much done for the night. And peer pressure isn’t a factor with me. Not in the least.
Silas said, “I swear…that boy looks like a sexual dynamo. I know that just one afternoon with him would change my life forever. I’d bet all I have on it.”
Watching Ricky practically being surrounded by two or three giggling girls at a time, all hoping to get an early shot at the new kid, I sarcastically replied, “Looks more like a hopeless pursuit to me. Just saying.”
“Come on, Jamie…don’t be such a pessimist.” He grinned. “People don’t ‘choose’ to be straight until they’re, like, 25 years old! That gives us nine or ten years to slide in there and get some ‘youth experiment’ points out of that hottie. Hehehe!”
“Silas…that’s not…like a thing.” I said. “Boys don’t just randomly decide to switch teams for a weekend. Only girls do that.”
“I’ll bet it happens more times than you think.” He grinned. If only such a thing could be true. “Jesus…it’s hard to take my eyes off of him. I think I’m falling in LOVE over here!”
I laughed at his enthusiasm, nudging him with my elbow to tell him to quit being so silly about this. But Silas only nudged me back, taking another sip of his party drink and letting me know that he had no intention of extinguishing the heated passions within him any time soon. I actually began to get a little nervous about him speaking out loud about this stuff over the pumping music in the background. I mean, we always have pervvy sessions of ‘boy talk’ at parties, but it would be soooo embarrassing if anyone actually heard us doing it. At least for me, it would be. I think I’d literally die of shame every time Ricky looked me in the eye if he knew how badly I crave to kiss those soft, sweet, lips of his.
Slender waist, short dark brown hair, and the most amazing bedroom brown eyes that I’ve ever seen in my life. And his smile? Wow…his smile is cute enough to make me weak in the knees. Which is pretty dangerous…considering that he likes to smile a LOT! He seems like such a cheerful and friendly guy, you know? Nothing bothers him. He’s so comfortable in his own skin. It’s attractive. Everything about him is attractive.
Sighhhh…he’s so beautiful.
“I don’t know how you do it, Jamie…” Silas said, shaking his head. “…If that boy moved into a house that was practically across the street from ME? Oh man…I’d be over there, ringing his doorbell, on day one. I’d never leave him alone. My psyche wouldn’t be able to handle the regret of not at least taking a chance of letting him get in my pants.”
“Geez, he just moved into that place a few weeks ago.” I said.
“He’s been there a month, dude.”
“ALMOST a month.”
“A month and a week!” He told me. “What’s going on with you? You’re totally slacking on this.”
“Maybe I’m…working my way up to talking to him. Did you ever think of that?”
“Riiiiight…” Silas said, rolling his eyes. “You need to pluck those chicken feathers of yours and go over there before one of these lucky girls put the ball and chain on him. Clock’s ticking, man.” He grinned as both of us peeked back over to where he was standing…his captivating smile causing my heart to race almost out of control. Yikes…I might actually be falling in love with him too at this point! Silas’ infatuations are contagious! Stay away!
The music got a bit louder, and I took another sip of my drink…just as Ricky started casually glancing around the room. His eyes met mine, and he smiled…causing me to SLAM my gaze down to the floor as fast and as hard as humanly possible! Omigod! Did he see me staring at him? Does it look weird that I looked away from him so fast? Shit! That brief second of eye contact nearly stopped my heart, mid beat! That was a close call!
“Do you ever see him?” Silas asked me, all while I took a big gulp of my fruit punch while trying to calm my panic. “Like…just hanging outside of his house or something?”
“I guess. Yeah.” I said, the sting of alcohol warming my chest.
“Really? Omigod, that’s hot! Hehehe!” He said. “Does he ever mow the lawn with his shirt off??? Oh PLEASE tell me that he mows the lawn with his shirt off!”
“Hehehe, NO!” I grinned. “I just…I see him sometimes, you know? Like…he’s got a basketball hoop outside on his garage, so…”
“He does??? Omigod! UGH…he’s SUCH a cute little hetero boy! I LOVE it!!!” Silas made me laugh, but made sure to ask, “Does he ever see you? I mean, does he, like…wave and say hello or anything?”
I sighed, rolling my eyes with a smile. “Once or twice, yeah. But it was brief. Hardly anything to get excited about.”
“You’re kidding me, right? Look at him right now. Just look. He’s eating a potato chip. THAT’S enough for me to get excited about! I’m gonna go home and jack off to the vision of him eating potato chips tonight. And he’s not even waving at me. You’re SO lucky! I wanna hurt you! Seriously! So ungrateful.”
To be honest…Ricky did look pretty cute when he was eating potato chips. And he has these really subtle dimples in his cheeks. They show when he’s chewing. Which is…you know…adorable.
“What is his last name? Is it on his mailbox or anything? I wanna look him up online and see if he has an Instagram or something. I need more of this boy in my life.”
“Sweeten…” I told him. Probably shouldn’t have, though. Considering that he was going to use it to stalk him relentlessly online.
“You’re fucking kidding me, right? His last name is ‘Sweeten’? Oh wow…that totally fits. Totally.” Silas sighed. “Then again, you could have told me that his name was ‘Johnny Banana-Cock’, and I would have said the same thing.”
“You are totally OUT of control tonight, dude!” I laughed.
“What??? It’s true! Omigod, Jamie, I could just stand here and watch him all night. He should have a series on the nature channel or something. He’s friggin’ gorgeous.” Silas said. “You know, I hear that he was a star on the baseball team at his last school. Now that he’s coming to our school, do you think he’ll join up? We might actually grab a few WINS every now and then with him on our side.”
“He played baseball? Really?” I asked. “Wow…I could see that.”
“I KNOW, right? He’s got that kind of athletic build to him. Ugh, he makes me so moist!”
“STOP!” I smirked. “You have a serious straight boy fetish!”
“I DO! I can’t help it! He’s like…my every dream come true! It’s driving me crazy.” Silas finished his drink and we both took a look at Ricky’s alluring smile from across the room. “He’s like…he’s straight, but there’s something about the way that he carries his hetero vibe that makes him sooooo yummy and hot. He doesn’t overdo it like some boys do. He’s just…he’s so CUTE! It’s almost like he doesn’t have any awareness at all of how CUTE he is! It’s a lethal cocktail for gay boy crushes. I swear.”
“Yeah…” I said softly, agreeing with a breathless sigh of my own. Giving in to some of my baser instincts, I shamelessly took in a full glance of his cute butt as he turned away from us to talk to someone else at the party. “Definitely a sports boy. I wonder how many bases you have to run to sculpt out a perfect ass like that.” What? You don’t think my best friend, Silas, wouldn’t rub off on me in one way or another.
“All I know is…I wanna run my tongue around the base of his hot, juicy, cock someday soon!” He said. Okaaay…so maybe I’m not as ‘free of mind’ as Silas is…but I won’t deny thinking about it.
“Ok, now you’re just stretching it, dude.” I said.
“Ricky Sweeten can ‘stretch’ me any time he wants to. I’ll bring the lube. Hehehe!”
“You’re such a whore…” I giggled.
“Shhhh! Here he comes!” Silas said, and I looked over to see Ricky walking our way! Oh shit! Oh shit, oh shit, oh SHIT!!!
“What do we do???”
“Shut up! Look casual, dude!”
I awkwardly leaned my shoulder up against the wall, taking another healthy sip of my drink to partially cover my face with the cup. Almost as if it was big enough for me to hide behind.
Ricky came pretty close to us before making a slight detour to the left. But not before flashing that stunningly boyish smile of his and giving us a gentle wave. “S’up, Jamie?” He said.
I felt faint. Seriously, my brain didn’t know how to process the glory and grace of having Ricky speak my name out loud with that smile. I felt like I could barely breathe.
“Hey….” I whispered as he walked by. I TRIED to get my voice to work, but…it just wouldn’t. I didn’t expect him to actually talk to me tonight! That’s SO unfair…having him spring an emotionally crippling TRICK on me like that!
“Hi! Ummm…hi…I’m Silas…” Silas said as he tried to use the few seconds of opportunity to get Ricky to notice him. But Ricky kept walking away from us, even if he did flash Silas a warm smile over his shoulder to be polite and return the greeting. And once he was out of sight, Silas said, “Dude…it’s SO fuckin’ on!”
“Hahaha! What are you talking about? He barely smiled at you.” I said.
“Not for ME! For YOU!”
“Did you not just see that? Dude…Ricky Sweeten just waved, smiled, and said hello to you. He knows your name! Jamie…he totally wants to stick his dick in you, man!”
I immediately blushed a deep red and smacked Silas in the back of the head. “Shut up!!! Jesus, dude! You need to stop drinking that stuff! Gimmee your cup. You’re cut off for the night…”
“Noooooo, dude, listen to me ok? I need this!”
“You need this???” I said.
“I’m telling you…that boy is CURIOUS! You need to jump on that! Like…right NOW before he changes his mind! Don’t let me down, Jamie! You HAVE to tell me what his balls taste like! Seriously! You HAVE to!”
“You’re CRAZY!” I grimaced. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“ME??? Dude…look at him! Go on! Look!” Silas practically grabbed me by the skull and turned my head in Ricky’s direction. The strange thing is…Ricky actually did look back at me after a couple of seconds. I mean…it’s probably of the unnecessary commotion that Silas and I were making in our little corner of the party atmosphere…but he did look back. And I froze up as he smiled at me again, that cute little dimple of his displaying itself like a full peacock spread as he gave me another little wave from across the room. Omigod! Oh…my…GOD!!! I waved back, but couldn’t wrap my brain around the idea of him wanting anything other than a friendly wave back from me. I mean, Silas wants to bang every cute boy in the 10th grade! I’m not falling for the idea that such a thing is possible when it comes to boys like Ricky. Right?
“I…I don’t know, dude…” I said, now feeling a bad case of nervous jitters rising up from my toes and accumulating in the back of my throat…causing my teen voice to break as my vocal chords struggled to maintain their normal pitch.
“God, you’re so lucky! This party sucks now.” Silas joked. “You need to man up and find a way to get that boy alone before Summer is completely over and we have to go back to school. If you let him get dropped in the hormonal ‘gumbo’ of our high school class…he’s going to end up sharing that hot bod of his with somebody else. It’s going to drive you INSANE if you have to spend the rest of your life wondering if your lips could have been the first to ever please that hot tube of boy beef!”
“C’mon, Silas…I’m not that lucky. I’m not even that hot. Not hot enough to catch his attention. And he’s not gay anyway! Quit getting me all hyped up over nothing.” I told him.
“Suit yourself, Jamie. I’m just…I’m soooo horny right now. You have no idea.” He said, chugging the rest of the punch in his cup before tossing it to the floor beside him. Total party foul. “I wish he had talked to me. He’d be knuckle deep in me with at least two fingers by now.”
“Quit it…” I said.
“Not a joke, man. I’d totally let Ricky Sweeten glaze my face with his hot boy cum…just for the sheer humiliation of letting him do it to me.” He swooned. “You seriously need to hook up with him, Jamie. You really do! Even if it’s just for a long afternoon of ‘casual chit chat’. Just let me sniff the part of your bed that he was sitting on when he leaves while it’s still warm…”
“Whatever…” I said, hoping to shrug off the whole conversation and forget about it. But…as my gaze became more and more fixated on him as he moved around the party, laughing and having fun with our other classmates while the timid girls in the room fought to find their strategy in approaching him before some other harpie got her claws in him…
…I couldn’t help but to wonder…what if? You know?
What would happen if I threw my hat into the ring and just took a chance? A harsh rejection would be better than a lifelong regret, wouldn’t it?
Just how thin is the line between fantasy and reality in a case like this?