Chapter 34

May 29

“Dude! You gotta come! It’s mandatory! Marie will never let up on me if you don’t come! Come on, Dude!” Jamie’s blue eyes just twinkled and his smile just glittered and the blush in his cheeks was just perfect and still . . . I kept saying ‘No’.

You have to understand, I don’t do parties. I hate dancing! I’m too shy to talk to anyone, much less actually flirt with anyone, and I won’t break my Dad’s rules about alcohol and drugs and stuff. Except for a sip of Piss Warm Beer (PWB) when I’m in England with Cedrick, I don’t really have any desire to drink. I got really tipsy once and then threw up for about four hours the last time someone tried to get me to drink alcohol. So now, basically, I don’t get the whole ‘getting drunk is fun’ thing. Maybe later when I’m old like my Dad I’ll be able to pitch down a glass of booze without even wincing, but that won’t be for a lo-ong time!

So, I’m not sure if Jamie’s parties would be like that or not, but something says that even if he wouldn’t be into it, his stupid ‘friends’ would. They already smoke under the bleachers. I know because I can smell it when I’m out there looking for some peace or whatever. It’s a great early warning system so that I can book it the hell out of there before they know I’m there and start hunting me like a scared rabbit.

“It’ll be SO much fun! We just got this new Bose sound system put in and Ke$ha sounds SOOO awesome through it! Marie and I have been spazzing out to it for a couple of weeks! You’ll love it! Marie might even, you know . . . bump and grind you or twerk it for you! Hehehe!” Jamie’s cute giggling was not what made me turn tomato red all of a sudden. It was the idea of having Marie basically dry-hump me in front of a bunch of losers that gave me a whole body blush and chill. Holy Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! That would be the LAST thing I’d want to happen in front of all those assholes!

“Awww, you’re too funny, Brandon. Turning all red! No, but really, that probably won’t happen ‘cause Marie would never be able to do anything like that in front of anyone. I only catch her dancing ‘sexy’ when she’s forgot to close the door all the way to her room and she’s practicing, I guess.” Jamie shrugs. More images I don’t need in my head! God, my pants started getting tight at my zipper when he started in with that. Hell . . . maybe I’m going straight after all!

Jamie got this sly look suddenly like he had a big secret to tempt me with. I couldn’t imagine he could throw anything short of his giving me a blowjob that would convince me of coming to the party, but, the bastard DID have a hook after all. A non-sexy one at that.

“We also got a new PS4 Pro, Dude! We were thinking of doing a Diablo 3 tourney at some point. You in?” Jamie winked at me and I have to admit I was stunned by this little revelation. I’ve been lusting for a PS4 Pro since I heard it was coming out and, having played Diablo with Cedrick and Franc on the PC before, I knew it could be INSANELY fun!

“I bet you that Marie would team with you on stuff. She’s, like, fucking amazing with almost every game we have! I sometimes think she’s my little brother trapped in a girl’s body.” Jamie got this silly ‘thinking’ face that he was seriously considering what he had just said which made it even funnier. I had to giggle.

“Oooooh Kay. If you got that going on then . . . I guess I could go if my Dad lets me.” I pushed my hands in my pockets and shrugged. Bad move. Jamie literally grabbed me in a bear hug and lifted me off the ground!

“DUDE! FANTASTIC! MARIE WILL BE SO EXCITED!” Jamie put me down and I had to rub my arms out because, um, Jamie definitely works out!

“K! See you there, Dude! 8 PM! Don’t be too late, but don’t come early neither! Don’t want you to look like a geek or anything! Bye!” Jamie jogs off and his butt was just . . . oh my god!

Anyways, so I’m on for doing this Party tomorrow night. I hope this won’t be too awkward. Maybe it will be fun.

We’ll see.

This is Brandon the Party Monster.

May 30th

Well, I’m not really sure what to think about tonight. It was weird, embarrassing, crazy, and, yes even fun!

My Dad wasn’t convinced it was a good thing for me to go or not, at first, but then when I said Marie was going to be there he was suddenly all for it! Hehehehe! He’s really into my dating her, I guess. Who am I to disappoint, I suppose? But anyways, I got the ok to go with the ‘proviso’ that I be back by 11 PM. I said that wouldn’t be a problem since the Cross adults were going to be back by 10 PM to break things up, apparently. Mr. Cross was also set to pick me up at 7:30 PM. The party was supposed to start at 8 PM, but Marie told me things really get started earlier than that because “Jamie has the patience of a gnat and starts shit before anyone’s even there.” HAHAHAHA! He seems to be ADD that’s for sure.

It took me a few to choose the wardrobe for the evening. I went with skinny jeans and my blousy bright blue shirt. It’s really pretty and looks a little silky. I thought Marie might like it (and maybe a couple of guys too, maybe). My Mom always said that you should ‘dress to impress’ no matter where you go and so, if I have any advantage at all in this world, it’s that she taught me how to dress well. I looked at myself in the mirror and did a little ‘forward comb’ of my hair, kind of ‘emo style,’ but not really. I think I looked cute even for a dorky string bean! The shirt was long sleeved so I rolled the sleeves up a bit. They’d fall down again, later, but whatever.

Mr. Cross came to the door and shook hands with my Dad. He even came in and had a Coke (no beer because he’d be driving). Mr. Cross explained that Jamie’s ‘Soirées,’ as he called them, basically are an excuse to listen to music a little more loudly than normal, eat junk food, and drink too much (soda). It also usually ‘degenerated’ into a fit of video gaming for the boys and gossiping for the girls. He’s never known Jamie do anything ‘wrong’ at these things so no need to worry. My Dad assured that he wasn’t worried and that he trusted me to have the commons sense he taught me. I don’t know what that means, but I took it as a compliment anyways.

So, I wasn’t surprised that Marie was waiting for me in the back of the car. She bounded out and literally SKIPPED over to hug me and give me a little kiss on my cheek. I blushed despite myself and looked at the two Dad’s feeling stupid and embarrassed per the usual. Who I

WASN’T expecting was Jamie. He came out of the car too! Why would he come out to get me too for? Huh?

“DOOOOOD! I frigging dig that shirt! It’s like Hella Dopeness!” Jamie actually fondled my collar and my shoulder. Apparently he liked the shirt. Marie rubbed her cheek on it. I guess they both liked it.

“Ok, you two meatballs, stop feeling up Brandon’s shirt and lets get going. I’ll have him back by 11, Brian.” Mr. Cross said and my Dad waved at us. He looked happy. That made me happy. I guess that meant we were all happy.

I sat in between the two Cross kids with Marie holding my hand and Jamie going on and on about all the stuff he had planned. Who he’d got to ‘DJ,’ what pizza place was catering, but, most importantly, who all would be there. I was disappointed to hear that Billy wasn’t coming because Jamie didn’t mention him at all. He didn’t mention Sam either, which was a relief.

“Just for you we even invited that little Gay friend of yours! You know, that Emo kid!” That . . . dumped a cold shiver down my spine! Was he referring to Stevie and . . . why was Jamie calling him out as Gay and, more importantly, why was he associating me with my ‘Gay’ friend? ‘Just for me?’

“Oh, uh . . . who?” I played stupid. It was my safest option!

“You know! That cute little dude! The one Chandler keeps catching you playing racketball with! I dunno his name. I think ChanChan said that he kicks ass in racketball! Wish that meant something, but it’s only racketball and he looks wa-ay too small and skinny even to be our water boy on the field much less someone on the team.” Jamie was referring to the football team, of course. That’s the only team that matters to the school, I suppose. Even basketball takes a big back seat to football at our school.

But, that got me to thinking and that always gets me to worrying. Jamie’s spies have been keeping tabs on me? That . . . creeps me out, um, a LOT! I have to watch my step then. I knew it would be dangerous to get too close to Jamie, but, because of Marie I’m sort of sucked into his little tornado of ‘popularity’. Never having been popular at all, myself, I don’t know the rules, though I seem to be learning. One of them is to know that you’re watched constantly! How exhausting! I suppose it’s ok if you are a big, beautiful, dumb, blond jock like

Jamie, but I’m not sure I could handle the scrutiny. I thought maybe going to the party might really be a terrible idea, especially since I’m riding in the Cross’s car!

Then, as usual, Marie, with her amazing psychic abilities, senses Jamie is stepping all over it again with me: “Jamie! Would you shut the hell up, why don’t you? Hearing ‘ChanChan’ is spying on poor Brandon is creeping me out! How do you think it makes HIM feel? Brandon’s normal people! Not a part of your stupid jock-ass celebrity popularity contest you idiots belong to. Oh, and TRUST me, ‘ChanChan’ has a lot of nerve Outing a boy he’s never even met. You ask me, ‘ChanChan’ is one Pride Party away from being a Go-Go Boy in Boystown himself!” Marie crossed her arms and pouted out the window. Jamie looked at her with his mouth hanging open catching flies, and . . . I couldn’t help but stifle a giggle. Ah Marie . . .

“Would you too kids pipe down back there? I feel like that last time we drove to Disney World and I nearly had to chloroform you both before your Ma killed ya both! Holy Toledo!” ‘Holy Toledo?’

“Sorry, Dad.” They both said like a chorus. It was so perfectly practiced that I think it’s something they say a LOT around Mr. Cross!

When we arrived I was surprised there were kids there already! They were gathered out on the driveway shooting hoops more or less. Mostly less. Eight eager faces turned toward the car waiting for the arrival of their King, I guess. Marie stepped out of the car first, I guess to let me out. I wasn’t so eager to get out of the car, to be honest. I recognized the ‘squad’ as being Jamie’s inner circle of jock jerks. I had half a mind to ask Mr. Cross just to drive me home, but thought better of it as Marie pulled from one direction and Jamie pushed in the other. What the hell?

Marie was greeted with a round of wolf whistles and catcalls of a less sick nature then intended, I guess, because Mr. Cross was coming out of the car too. What was WAY weird and REALLY kind of freaking embarrassing was that the wolf whistles got WORSE when they saw me! I didn’t understand that.

The big ugly red head, Karl, put his hands to his mouth and shouted “HEY PRETTY BABY! ~smooch smooch smooch~” which got a round of high pitched stupid laughs from the others. I wanted to craw UNDER the car!

“MAN! SHUT YOUR SOULLESS ASS UP, CARROT TOP!” Marie shouted back. The others went ‘oooOOooooo’ and giggled before going back to their game. “Marie! Darlin’! Language!” Mr. Cross moaned.

“Sorry, Dad.” Marie moped.

I looked up at Jamie who kind of shrugged and giggled nervously himself. Wow, Dude! Let Marie fight your battles for you much? Billy looks up to this dill weed? But, true to Jamie, he made up for it in different ways. Mostly distracting me and ignoring his idiot ‘friends.’

“DUDE! You gotta see the decorations my Mom did! They are next level outstanding! Everything Chandler loves! There’s, like, a picture of him with us, like, playing with me as a baby! It’s so cute!” Oh my . . . maybe Jamie is Gay after all!

I went in and everything was Star Wars. I mean EVERYTHING! I don’t even want to know where Mrs. Cross managed to get some of that stuff? It looked ‘real’! There was even a Darth Vader stand up statue (life like) in the corner with lights and everything! To be honest, he scared the crap out of me when I first noticed him! What a creepy idea for a character! A Nazi with a black skull and bug eyes? Come ON! I never cared for Star Wars much.

Apparently, this Chandler was important to the Crosses so it got my curiosity up. I don’t remember him from our High School though I think he must visit, which is weird, because, then why is he on campus spying on ME for?

“Wait, is this the same ‘ChanChan’ who watches Stevie and me?” I whispered into Marie’s ear.

“The one and only. I swear he and Jamie are going to make a baby one day. Straight my ass! ” she rolled her eyes. I stifled a full on laughing fit on that one!

“What’s so funny?” Jamie wanted to know. “CHANDLER! Enough said.” Marie told Jamie.

“Um. What about him?” Jamie looked confused again.

“Oh, please! Chandler is the entertainment. Who needs the DJ, Clown, or Mime, or whoever!” Marie sassed.

Jamie just rolled his eyes and they came to rest on me, blue like the sky. “DON’T listen to her, Brandon. Chandler is one of the coolest guys EVAR! You’ll like him and you’ll understand why he keeps an eye out for you! I promise!” Jamie said, mysteriously.

Um, this is the WEIRD part of this whole thing? A guy I never met who has a mission in life to scope me out? I just don’t get it.

“Ok, so when is the Boy Wonder supposed to show up?” Marie asked, not hiding her basic dislike for the guy.

“Um . . . now!” Jamie said as he heard a heavy engine running. He COMPLETELY minced over to the window all excited! Um, . . . wow! Who needs Gaydar?

I just ‘casually’ followed him to the window, trying to keep my cool, even though I was overwhelmed with curiosity to see who this Chandler dude was. I was, uh, glad I looked!

Jamie is beautiful. He is the blond jock every human being would want to ‘get’ with. But . . . Chandler was aaaaaaMAzing!

I saw him step out of a fucking Porsche! But, that wasn’t what impressed me! It was CHANDLER who impressed me!

Chandler stood about 5’ whatever, about my height, but he had broader shoulders and a much more ‘built’ physique. He looked built like a man! He had dark strawberry/ginger hair tucked under a Cubs baseball cap. He wore expensive Ray Ban sunglasses so I couldn’t see his eyes. He also wore tight cutoff shorts and a tight muscle t-shirt with something on it that said something about ‘Grindr’ whatever that means. The shirt, pretty much showed everything he owned on his body. My mouth was agape! Most importantly, he looked old enough to be a College guy!

How was it that it was THIS guy who had been following Stevie and me around? I’d have noticed! He was . . . gorgeous!

After doing fist bumps and even full on squeezie hugs and butt-spanks with Jamie’s ‘bros’ he marched right up to the front door and let himself in. Jamie literally RAN to the front door and they both hugged like long lost lovers! I, uh . . . yeah.

Despite herself, Marie let Chandler grab her and lift her into a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. She even looked like she enjoyed it. But, then, I don’t know how she couldn’t. Chandler had taken off his Ray Bans so I could finally see his eyes. OMG! They were bluer than Jamie’s! My heart skipped a whole beat when he looked over at me.

“A-Ha! This must be the ‘boyfriend’! Wow, Marzzy . . . Sharezies?” Chandler’s glorious eyes settled on me and, honestly, I was lost in them! Naturally, I must have blushed beet red at his ‘sharesies’ comment. But, Marie’s response was so shocking I had, like, NO time to react!

I felt a sudden a hand grip my butt kinda hard and felt myself pulled up against Marie’s bosom. “Hey, ‘ChanChan!’ Hands off! This butt’s MINE! Go see if Jamie wants a kiss or something.” Chandler’s lip stuck out in a super cute pout and then he kissed his hand and blew it at me!

“Let’s wait a few years, yet. Then we’ll see.” Chandler winked at me and then turned on his heel to Jamie with a flourish and they went off excitedly talking about all the decorations and stuff.

My eyes must have gone totally wide along with my mouth at what i was experiencing, “Oh, close it, or there’s no telling what might go in there with ‘ChanChan’ around. I swear every time he comes in from Boystown it gets weird!” My mouth remained open in shock. He really was!

“You mean he’s really . . . ?” I just couldn’t seem to finish the sentence.

“Gay? Well if you can’t see that then you really are the cutest most innocent Catholic boy I’ve ever met!” Marie blinked her eyes at me slowly and before I knew it, she was kissing me on the lips in a way I’ve never had done before. I admit, I felt dizzy and loved every minute of THAT kiss! Wow!

So the party began and so did the weirdest night of my life so far! I gotta go . . . More later.

This is Brandon, Uh . . . Whatever. Where’s Chandler gone?

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