Disclaimer: Four score and seven months ago, our foreskins retracted and we realized just how much fun we could have. While the above cutie probably never uttered the phrases attributed to him in any setting where it could be recorded for posterity, you can always dream that he did. Comdoms are not intended for nipple protection; if your nipples are big enough to allow you to unroll one and have it stay on the nipple, we suggest seeking immediate medical attention. The cranberry flavor is only not available for a limited time, while the other flavors are unavailable in the real world as normal. Use for water balloons or party decorations is in violation of the TOS. If this actually made sense to you, seek psychiatric assistance immediately.