They often say that ‘two heads are better than one’….hehehe, but not when it comes to the one on your shoulders going against the one in your pants! Which happens more often than not…and it can lead to bad things if you’re not careful.
I’m not just talking about clinical, sexually transmitted, diseases or pregnancy here. Sometimes…you can have a sexual experience that just doesn’t turn out the way you thought it would. Sometimes it’s with someone that you shouldn’t have been intimate with, or maybe you crossed the line with a really good friend, or maybe…it was just bad for the both of you.
This month’s question is…have you ever had a sexual experience that you regretted later? What happened, and why? And what makes you regret it? Did it end up ruining a relationship? Were you possibly cheating on someone that you loved, but fell for the temptation of another? Did it lead to heartbreak for you…or for the other person? Sometimes it’s easy to get wrapped up in the moment and we’ve all had moments when we just wanted to feel good, and loved, and intimate with someone we care about. But every sexy moment turns into a fairy tale romance. (Not that it has to…but you know what I mean.)
So tell us about your ‘Whoops’ moments when it comes to sex! And if you’re lucky enough to have never experienced one personally, tell us about that too! How did you avoid it? Inquiring minds want to know!
“No, I don’t have anything I regret there.
But it’s always an interesting question, how people make their decisions on things like that.
There are people that just try everything and realize then what they like and what they don’t like. And trying things out is good. Sometimes it is necessary to know what you even want. But that way you will have some experiences that will not go to as you expected, some even bad. Having some of these always is just a part of life. If you regret them or are glad that you learned something is dependent on the specific experience and another interesting question.
On the other hand you do not need to try out everything. I think that actually, if you really think about it, you can estimate many things pretty well. On some topics there will still be uncertainty and you should not be afraid of trying new things. It is necassary. Nevertheless think about it, before you do. You do not need to place your hand on the hot oven to know that it is hot and will hurt you, if you place your hand there. In some situations the outcome is just really clear if you think about it. There still should be the benefit of doubt, but if it’s clear that you don’t like something, you do not need to do it.
At the same time you also have to estimate the possible consequences. How bad can something go? Tasting just a little bit of some new food will usually give you neither health problems nor nightmares. Getting into a relationship with an abusive person to see if it might go well can be a really really bad idea.
We can never be entirely sure, how something will go. And we should – we need to try new things out. Avoiding that entirely is a bad idea. Even just trying something to know for sure afterwards, that it is not your thing can be extremely valuable. But it always is a good idea to use our common sense. Don’t brood too long about things, but take a moment before you decide. Don’t let it stop you from doing new things, maybe crazy things, but try to avoid the things that certainly will end bad or injure you heavily.
Those were some general thoughts of mine. And at the same time it is bad to overthink things. Some may be contradicting, but you always need to find the right middle.
Sometimes really funny to see how different people handle those things.” – Who4M1
“Yeah…I’m sorry to say that I have made some mistakes in the past. I don’t think they were anything overly traumatic or anything, but there were a few times that I kind of wish I could take back.
One of those times was having sex with someone who was one of my best friends at the time. To be honest, I don’t even remember how it started, but we were young and horny and once things started to feel good, we just got sort of swept up in it. Then, voila…sexy afternoon. Hehehe! The thing is, it kept happening. Over and over again. I wasn’t in love with him, and I doubt he was in love with me either. But it got to a point where that was all he wanted to do anymore. Before long, it was the only thing that we had in common. And when the sex stopped, we kind of drifted apart. Now, to be fair, we started high school shortly after that, and a lot of friends sort of change and drift apart anyway. But I often wonder if we’d still be close if we hadn’t gone that route.
I did have a few hook ups online that didn’t really do much for me either. I was living in an apartment with someone that I had been madly in love with since I was fourteen…and I just couldn’t be close to him, you know? He’s straight, but I didn’t know that at the time. I was still trying to figure him out, but we were sooooo close that my love for him was just bubbling over to the point of constant frustration. And so…I met up with a few other guys for some, ummm…’relief’. Hehehe! This was around the time that I had first found Nifty and imagined things being so awesome and hot and…well, they weren’t.
Don’t get me wrong, I got what I was looking for. But it only took a few times of me doing that for me to figure out that what I was looking for wasn’t really what I wanted. If that makes sense. I decided that I’d rather pine away over someone I could never have than fool around with someone that I wasn’t really connected to. I’m a romantic at heart, sue me.
Anyway, there are a few mistakes in my past that I wish I could scratch off of my list of ‘things to regret’…but at least I learned for those mistakes and went searching for more. Sometimes, it’s all you can do. And that’s what makes all our mistakes worthwhile, isn’t it?” – Comicality
“I’ve been intimate with other guys before my husband. Some of them, I really enjoyed; others, I wish I could go back in time and kick myself before I made any ill-advised decisions. Once, I was really close with someone. Like Comsie’s story, we were great friends. We decided to try the “friends with benefits” thing, and it worked. For a while, anyway. Unlike Comsie’s story, we didn’t become “obsessed” with sex. But we knew it had to end eventually, and when it did….things just weren’t the same. It felt like a big, pink elephant with purple spots was waving sparklers in the air and riding a unicycle through the room, every time we met up with each other. So, we went our separate ways, and I’ll always regret losing him as a friend, just for a few moments of pleasure.” – Page Scrawler
“Kind of but no.
I’ve had early sexual encounters that I look back on and cringe because we didn’t know what we were doing. But I guess that’s par for the course. Who does know what they’re doing their first time?
I guess it’s somewhat worse when you’re young than, say, when you’re inexperienced and in your twenties when you lose your virginity. Being an adult affords you some basic common sense that being really young doesn’t, which was my case. I slept with an older girl when I was 11, and a boy my age when I was 13.
I think things would have gone better if I’d waited until I was older. Although I don’t really regret it. I don’t put stock in the concept of sex being some kind of spiritual or magical thing.
It’s just sex. It feels amazing in the right situation with the right person, but it shouldn’t be put on a divine pedestal and treated as if it was a holy thing like religions do, with the concept of virginity and purity being glorified, and same-sex attractions being taboo, etc.
It’s just sex. I’ve had lots of it. But I’ve actually been voluntarily celibate now for several years. It’s not the be-all and end-all of everything.” – Mike
“When I was in college I joined a gay social group that met once a week. There was this incredibly handsome and charismatic (in the Hollywood leading man sense) young man in the group. Everyone was drawn to him except for me. What can I say, he just wasn’t my type. By then my attraction for teen boys had already congealed.
Well, as dumb luck would have it, I was the be all and end all of his dreams. He started courting me with irrepressible enthusiasm. The more I resisted the more he escalated his advances. He was not accustomed to being turned down.
One night after the group had gone out to the bars, Shelly’s Leg being the most notable one, he invited me to his apartment. I was more than a little inebriated by this time, and throwing all caution to the wind, decided to take up his invitation. He had ensured me that there would be no pressure placed on me to do anything I didn’t want to.
Well one thing led to another and we ended up having a toss in the bed. It was awkward to say the least and not very enjoyable. But what clinched the “bad-decision” label was that a week or so later I experienced the first signs of the 7 year itch (scabies).
He apologized, saying he though he was cured of it. It took me a couple of months to completely rid myself of this nasty parasite. We remained friends, but needless to say, never again anything more than that.
A couple of lessons to take away from this: Best not to hook up with anyone if you’ve been drinking. And lots of critters such as scabies, lice and fungal infections cannot be avoided by using a condom. Know what you’re getting into.” – Lucas Flanders
If you guys ever want to add your two cents to any one of the ‘Q & A’ sessions for future issues of Imagine Magazine, we’d LOVE to hear your input and your personal stories on the forum! Feel free to attach your screen name, or do so anonymously! Drop by “The Shack Out Back” forum on the 1st of every month for a brand new topic of conversation! We look forward to hearing more from you! 🙂