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I’ll have to admit to nearly cussin’ the whole world out, hearing my uncle, Buster, snoring like roaring train all dang night! Nobody calls hogs like Buster does. Especially when he’s got a stale supply of hooch wriggling through his veins. That man could make the sun rise early, just to hush him up! My word!
I was feeling a little light headed when I woke up. Didn’t get much rest at all. But once I felt a certain ‘tightness’ down in my long johns, I opened my eyes to see my pecker standing up like it was trying to reach the SKY!
“You awake in here, Deacon?” Came my daddy’s voice as he walked into to my room.
Immediately, I rolled over to hide myself from prying eyes. I couldn’t help but to whimper and whine a little bit as I pressed myself into the bed beneath me. Lord bless…a sudden ache never felt so good. Gave me the shivers.
“I’m awake.” I said, looking away from him.
“Alright. I need you to get dressed and tend to things early this morning. They’re laying Ms. Sampson to rest out back behind the schoolhouse. I reckon you and I should be there. Uncle Buster too, seein’ as he has his wits about him by then.” He told me.
“Ok. I’ll get up in a minute.”
“In a minute?” He asked. “You feeling alright, Deacon?”
“I’m good! Definitely good!” I said, fighting the urge to grind myself further into that bed right in front of him. I’m telling the gospel truth when I say I was looking forward to feeling a few more good shivers before I got out of this bed. I don’t know what had me so fired up, but I sure wish Daddy would leave so I could figure it out with a couple strokes.
My daddy hesitated at first, and I think I heard him laugh under his breath for a moment. “Alright then, baby boy. You take a few minutes to sort yourself out, and then you get into your chores now, ya hear?”
“Uh huh. Just a few minutes. So’s I can rub the sleep out my eyes.” I said.
“Sleep. Right.” He said, and chuckled again before walking out again. “Well, you ‘rub’ whatever you need to rub, but don’t you be all mornin’.”
I ain’t had much time to spend on myself. Daddy would come back, checkin’ for me, once he got the morning water to boil. So I waited for him to go to the other side of the house, and I shimmied my way out of my undies as fast as I could. I couldn’t imagine what had gotten me so stiff while I was sleeping, but that first wrap-around made me feel better than I ever felt in my whole dang life! I haven’t known the touch of any of the girls in town, but I figured a few things out from playing around down there over the last year or two. It don’t take much to know what feels good. Once you figure that part out, everything else pretty much builds up its own momentum and handles itself from there on out. Funny thing, I don’t think I ever needed it so bad as I did this morning. And the moment I felt those few crazy shocks and shivers from that first touch…the only thing I could think about was ‘pretty boy’ Colby from last night…and how much I wished he could have woken up right beside me so’s I could have somebody special to share my morning giggles with.
My head was telling me that it wasn’t right, but…the thought of him wouldn’t go away. The sight of his smooth, young, face and his tender build got me so hot and bothered that I almost felt ready to bust with the first squeeze.
I kept the covers over me. I certainly hope the Lord almighty wasn’t peeking in on me. Covers were all I had to hide it.
The sun was pouring in the window, and I got a little heated up from the blinding light. But…when I closed my eyes…and Colby’s soft skin came to mind…I nearly lost my breath stroking over the dreamy sight of him. I don’t even know what I was thinking ’bout! Just staring at him by that fire, I reckon. His eyes. His smile. That’s what I was hankering for most. Kissing that pretty smile of his. Maybe letting him lay his head on my shoulder. Mmmm…the thought of that made my hand go faster. That and the thought of our lips connecting…real soft like. Touching his hair. I liked his hair an awful lot. Maybe…maybe landing a little kiss on the side of his neck. Colby has a nice long neck that’d put most of the girls in this town to shame. The whole look of him set me to stroking faster and humping my hips up off the bed.
It wasn’t until I got close to heaving out that I even entertained the notion that Colby might take his shirt off during all of this. That…he might be naked under all that, and…have a hard one just like me underneath. I can’t remember ever seeing another fella naked, but…I imagined Colby and me must have the same pieces. Right? Slightly different, but altogether the same. I started to imagine what he might look like in the bath. How he might hang in the front. How he might bulge in the back. Just…soaking wet without a lick of clothes on him. I paddied myself a bit faster now, feeling my stalk get even harder than it was before. I started to worry that my breathing was too hard. That the sound of my skin on skin motion was going to alert my daddy to me sinning away in here behind a closed door. But it felt too good to stop. Thoughts of Colby kept me going. I wanted to know what he looked like. What he felt like to the touch…my hand sliding over his wet skin, top to bottom and back again. I wondered…dear Lord, forgive me…I wondered what he’d taste like. You know…down below. If I put it in my mouth, real gentle like. Something to make him happy. To make ‘both’ of us happy.
Well, that little breathless touch of madness is just what I needed to push me clear over the top!
My eyes squeezed tight, my nuggets started to shrink and snuggle up between my thighs, and my gasps of pleasure got so heavy that I nearly thought I’d faint from it. Both my legs bent at the knees to form a diamond once the soles of my feet touched, and my rear end clenched up, my stomach tightened, and the back of my shoulders pressed themselves into the bed as my hips raised up and caused me to nearly whimper out loud. My throat felt all tight and crazy, but I didn’t dare holler…no matter how wild it felt to be on the edge like that. Then I just started feeling a bunch of hot splashes on my chest and belly, some sticking to the underside of the blanket. I got to wiggling and tossin’ so that I could barely hold still and keep from falling to the floor! The thought of me doing something as sensual as licking the bathwater from that boy’s private areas had turned me into a quivering mess under my own covers. Even after I was finished, I wasn’t finished. I could feel my eyes rolling back in my head, my body finally unwinding itself, and lingering thoughts of Colby’s naked form began to fade away from my rowdy thoughts.
What just happened?
Willie would never let me live another day on this Earth without torment if he knew I was thinking about making time with another boy instead of one of the pretty girls in town. Heck, I doubt even my own Daddy would stand for me being so odd. But…for those few moments alone under these sheets, I can’t imagine anything being more pure, more incredible, more stimulating, than being all wrapped up with Colby somewhere…making the rest of the town stay distant from the both of us. For me…that would be Heaven. Sweet Heaven.
I washed up and got dressed shortly after. I didn’t have that many chores today outside of the dog and a few other things. That was a good thing. I wanted to look nice for good ol Ms. Samson’s funeral. Not to mention, there was a touch of me that was hoping that Colby might show up today. He ain’t been in town for that long, but…seeing as everybody is expected to show up, and she’s a school teacher for other boys my age, there’s a chance he might peek in and join us to pay our respects this afternoon. At least, I was hoping he would.
I put on my hat and grabbed a morning biscuit before tending to my chores. Daddy looked at me and smiled. “You think you’re ready for work, boy? Or maybe you want to go back and lay down for a few minutes more.”
What’s that supposed to mean? I ain’t like the way he was looking at me. I KNOW he wasn’t watching! And I cleaned up everything and hid my sheets up under the bed like I always did.
“I’m alright…” I told him, giving him a sideways look of suspicion. “I’m…I ain’t…I’m alright…”
He gave me a warm look, and he used his hand to ruffle up my hair something awful. “My baby boy.” He said.
“Come on now, Daddy! I just got myself fixed up right.”
“I’ll just bet you did.” He said. Then…he looked into my eyes for a spell and said, “You’re growing so fast, Deacon. Half my days, I spend being afraid to blink for fear I’m gonna miss something important. Your sweet momma…she’d be proud.” I figured it was all clumsy talk on my part, but Daddy was so dedicated to sharing the moment with me that I reckoned there must be something more behind what he was telling me. “You just keep it in your head that your daddy is right here if you need to talk about what’s going on with you. Alright?”
I couldn’t figure out what the random sentiment was for, but I told him, “Sure, Daddy. I ain’t forgot.”
So he patted me on the shoulder, and we went out to get the morning chores finished. My Uncle Buster look liked a pre-cooked weasel when he finally found the strength to get out of bed. My daddy didn’t let him sleep in, much as he would have preferred it. By the time we needed to leave to lay Ms. Sampson to rest, most of the day’s work had been done. I was thankful for that, because I had some hunting to do in this town. The more I thought about Colby, the more I longed to talk to him again. Heck, just SEEIN’ him again would be enough to put an extra kick in my step. I feel bad that I was emotionally using Ms. Sampson’s funeral as bait for a boy of my favor…but I didn’t know what else to do. Half the town was going to be there, and I couldn’t help but to hope that he’d be there too.
That riled me up something awful…the very idea that he’d be there had me turnin’ flips on the inside, my head darting back and forth, hoping to catch sight of him as I was heading that way. I think I was a touch obsessed in the head with trying to find him. So much so that I felt a bit frustrated by Willie’s jabbering at my side. Who even knows what he was talking about at the time? All I knew was that he refused to hush up and let me look for Colby again.
I didn’t catch sight of him though.
The morning light would have made Colby look so charming. At least, that’s what I was thinking. His hair was a light brown in the darkness, but how bright would it be in the daylight? My eager butterflies were anxious to see him again, but as the funeral got set in motion, and the body was put under…I didn’t catch a single sight of him. Not one. I have to admit that I was disappointed. It was the main reason I got all dolled up to come out here.
Willie said, “Such a shame, something in the woods making short work of Ms. Samson like that. Did your daddy get any new clues on the case? Figure out what animal is doing this?”
I was still looking around the crowd to see if I could find Colby despite the congestion of townsfolk. “Oh…yeah. My father’s trying to find out what’s….what’s going on.”
I was clearly distracted, and Willie asked me, “What are you looking for?”
I told him not to worry about it, but then decided to ask, “Have you heard the name ‘Colby’ being tossed around in town lately?”
“Colby? Can’t say that I have. How come?”
Looking around the crowd again to make sure I hadn’t made a mistake, my heart sank a little bit, and I said, “I don’t know. Just a new boy in town. I ain’t never heard much about him around here.” I took a chance, albeit a cautious one, and I asked Willie, “Have you seen anybody new in town recently?”
“Somebody new?” He asked. “Can’t say that I have.”
“Are you sure? Maybe a boy our age? Someone who’s…you know…he’s…” I figured I might as well come out and say it. I didn’t know how else to describe him. “…A boy our age who looks ‘pretty’. Really nice, almost on the girly side?”
Willie gave me a befuddled glance. He says, “A boy? Who’s pretty? I ain’t never seen no such a thing as that, Deke. He’s a fella. What would be the point of a fella being ‘pretty’?”
My heart muddied itself up a little after hearing it. But I didn’t dare tell him that.
“Right. You’re right. I just figured that somebody might have seen him around town, that’s all. I’ve been seeking him out.”
“What for?” Willie asked me. It was right then and there that I first realized that I didn’t have a single answer to offer him. Not a one. I just knew I had to see him again, and that was that. The very memory of him kept tugging at me, and I had to keep shaking myself free from the dream of it all. Drats. I’ve gotten myself all twisted backwards again.
I told a fib and said, “He’s somebody I ain’t never seen ’round here before. Not before last night by the fire. I wanted to know if he has a clue about what happened to poor ol’ Ms. Samson. That’s all. Anybody walking around these parts at that time of the evening must have caught a glance at something out of sorts.”
Willie’s eyes lit up. “Ohhhh! I get it! Yeah. Good guessin’, Deke. If I see him around, I’ll let you know.” He said.
“Good! You do that. You let me know if you find him. I think I wan to talk to him. About…about the murders and all. It’s important, ok?”
“Sure thing. We’ll catch him and maybe he’ll swing for this madness. Won’t it be crazy, Deke…if you catch the culprit? You’ll be a hero!”
“A hero. Right.” I replied. Truth be told, though…all that ‘murder’ business was the furthest thing from my mind. I just wanted to figure out why Colby made me feel so strange. And how he got me to like it so much.
Does anybody else go through a spell like this? I can’t help but to feel a little embarrassed. Ain’t nobody to ask a question like the questions I’ve got to ask. I’ve got my own mystery to solve before I go out in the darkness looking for monsters, that’s for sure.
I spent the better part of my day walking from one end of town to the other, whippin’ my head both left and right, trying to see if I could just catch a quick glimpse of him. Just…anything. I saw a few girls with long hair and thought that might be him, but got disappointed every time. I went to all the places a boy could go, hoping to find him there. Ain’t had a spittin’ distance worth of luck, though. Where could he go to? It’s not like he could just vanish from the world. I had just seen him a half day ago. I was starting to feel like I had missed my chance to really engage him in a way that I’d be much of a memory at all for him. Made me self conscious. Like I had bundled up the whole pleasure of meeting him and tossed it right in the dang river. Foolish. If he hadn’t run off so darn fast last night I might have been able to get a clue as to where to find him again. But with no trail to follow and a full day wasted, I was starting to think that I’d never get to be near him again. Almost like trying to get back to dream you had the night’s prior. And something about that made my heart sink right down into my stomach. I mean, I was feeling mighty bad about it. It sure didn’t seem like something to cry over but my heart hurt so much that the urge to cry stayed with me all day.
Sitting at the dinner table with Daddy and Uncle Buster, I hardly ate a bite of food without toying with it first. I kept my head down, staring blankly at the table, feeling hollow inside. All over a few minutes with some boy that I didn’t even know…and yet, I get the feeling that he was the only one who understood me. Heck, even my best friend, Willie, couldn’t lay claim to knowing me any better. Why do I feel this way? Why?
“Deacon? Somethin’ on your mind?” My daddy asked.
“You sure? You ain’t hardly touched your supper at all. If you got something you need to talk about…?”
“No. Nothing to speak on. Just ain’t all that hungry. That’s all.” I sulked. Then, feeling that strange pressure intensifying as it spread through my chest and got almost too heavy for me to bear. “May I be excused? I won’t waste my supper, Daddy. Honest. I just need to air myself out a bit.â€³
My daddy and Uncle Buster shared a glance, but he just said, “Go on and put your plate on the oven top. Put a lid on it.”
“Sure thing.” I told him, and I went outside to be alone for a while. The sky was getting dark, and he didn’t want me straying too far from where he couldn’t see me, but I felt a lot better just being alone for a while. Can’t say that I was happy, but I felt better than I did in there. Truth is, I had a secret. A big one. I didn’t really know it was there until last night and now it’s staring me right in the face. I could just leave it alone and move on, but I keep poking at it like some kind of sleeping animal. I don’t know if I want to find out what’s wrong with me. Something feels sick and ungodly about it all. Like I’m just not ready for the full truth just yet.
But soon, once the sky lost its color and the stars came out, a lonely fire crackling beside me…I found myself both frightened and relieved when I heard a quiet set of footsteps approaching me from behind.
Funny thing. I had been thinking about Colby all last night and all through the morning…I remembered every detail of him, top to bottom…and yet, when I laid eyes on him again it was like being shocked by his beauty for the very first time all over again. Immediately, I went all to pieces. That light brown hair sweeping delicately just beneath his chin, that smooth skin, those ‘soft as a pillow’ lips. Lord bless it, it was like someone was tying a wet towel right around my heart, twisting it and squeezing it until it was about to pop. I didn’t want to smile, but felt like I had to anyway. Something about his presence just left you wide open.
I never felt like this before. Not for nobody.
“Hey…” He said, all bashful like. I can’t tell you how much it fires me up to see another boy all bashful like.
“Evening.” I said. I felt a bit awkward. And I know he’s not a girl, but I felt the need to remove my hat and fix up my hair, anyways. I began to switch from foot to foot, unsure of what to say or where to look. Nervous as a prize hog in a butcher shop. “You sure are a hard one to find during the day.” I grinned. Then I stopped grinning. But then I grinned again.
“Yes. I guess you could say that.” He smiled. “I wasn’t expecting you to be searching for me.”
“Well…” I said, my voice shaking. “…You got a chance to look me over last night. Maybe…maybe I was looking to return the favor.”
I took me a few ticks to realize what I had gone and said to this boy out loud. Making me feel even clumsier than before. But, where I half expected there to be a look of insult, or at least a hint of confusion…all I saw was a welcoming smile, and a set of the prettiest eyes I’ve ever been witness to. Hot DAMN, that boy was fit for the eyes!
“If that’s the case, Deacon…I reckon I should stay a while. You mind?”
I got to trembling so bad that I figured I’d best sit him down before I fall flat on my face. “I’d like that, Colby. I’d like that a lot.”