Fail! Hehehe!

Dont sweat it. I can be man enough to admit it. It’s ok. I tried to create another ‘Shack’ forum exclusively for the Imagine Magazine crowd…and it just never really got off the ground. Because, just like I said before…people don’t really ‘participate’ in online groups anymore. Well, not unless they’re complaining or ranting about something negative…then they’ve got unlimited energy and curse words to spew sewage allover the internet. I can do without that. It’s just not what I’m about, you know? They can do that stuff anywhere. I prefer to have the many different puzzle pieces of the Shack be as drama free as humanly possible if I can. Why pick a fight all the time? Relax. Enjoy some of the beauty of life for a while.

But the ‘Inner Visions’ message board ( was originally meant to be a place for fans of the magazine to talk and relate to one another. A place to get a few exclusives on stories and articles before they’re even posted, interact with fans of their work, and to just make friends with people that felt the same way about each monthly issue. Because, why not? So, I asked people in a chatroom if they’d be willing to help me out and participate if I created a new forum just for the magazine. And a bunch of them said, “Yeah! Sure, Comsie!” LOL! Jerks! Middle fingers to you if you bailed on me! Hehehe, just kidding. But still…

…It won’t be the first time they’ve made a sucker out of me.

The ‘Inner Visions’ forum was made shortly after Imagine Magazine’s big reboot around issue #36, where we decided to step things up and go to a monthly schedule instead of every other month. I wanted to put in extra work to take on the challenge of making it as popular as the Shack itself, all while making sure that the forum included a lot of stuff that wasn’t available anywhere else on the site. It gave people updates and new material on the actors, athletes, singers, and dancers, etc, from all of the previous issues, so folks could keep up with some of their favorites. And it also had a constant flow of short gay teen films for people to watch and maybe relate to, as well as a bunch of teen boy pop videos…because boy pop rocks! ::Giggles::

So I got a bunch of material together, made a lot of posts to give everyone the kind of ‘feel’ that I was going, and even posted a few stories there as exclusives to maybe garner some more interest in, at least, giving the place a look.

And then…nothing.

I was hoping to get more answers for the ‘Q & A’ section and maybe find some new authors to contribute to the magazine…but, ultimately, I was depending too much on other people’s input. I’ve had to learn the hard way, time and time again, that you just can’t do that and expect to be successful in anything that you’re doing online. It’s an awesome fantasy to think that everyone will have fun and will be super eager to dive in and get involved…but then I wake up and realize that it’s not gonna happen. Like…ever. I’m still an optimist…but reality sets in eventually…and I have to adjust.

Then…the reboot of the forum, and the promise of some new life!

The ‘Inner Visions’ forum has now found it’s second wind. And it’s now more of a spectator sport than a community of people that I’m waiting on to comment or contribute to whenever they feel like it. As always, I switched gears, set things up a bit differently, put in all the work myself…and now the board (from some of the emails that I’ve been getting lately) is more popular than it EVER was in the beginning! 🙂

Whenever I’m writing my stories, I sort of have a visual in my head of how each character looks and sounds and acts. It’s my visual concepts that get translated down into my stories for all of those die hard romantics to fall in love with. However…at one point, years ago, everybody either had their own ideas of how the boys in my stories look, or they were constantly asking me to add pictures or drawings or something to let them know what was on my mind when I developed these characters. Many of them started out on friends or crushes or classmates that I had in real life growing up. But I ran out of close personal friends to write about after a while. Hehehe! Still, I had TONS of ideas left to go! And I wanted to tell them all.

So…I began looking for pics of cute boys online that mostly matched up, or at least came close, to what I was thinking of. And if anybody asked, I was happy to share them with my readers. Shortly after that, I began to make little ‘title cards’ for each story with one of the main characters as the focus, and added a title to it, and began adding it to the stories themselves so my audience would know ahead of time what I was imagining before they even clicked on the link. I kept making more and more to cover almost every story that I was posting, and readers LOVED it! Sometimes I just happen to find boys that perfectly fit the characters in my head…and sometimes I’ll find a picture of a cute boy that simply inspires a story all by himself. Like, “Oh WOW! I’ve gotta write about him! I already have some ideas brewing for what the story is going to be about!” And then…there are times when it’s a mixture of both. I might have written a story almost all the way to the end, and I’ll find just the right pic…and it was like, “That’s him. Yes. That should definitely be him.” And I’ll go back through my story to change a few details to coincide with the picture. Change blond hair to brunette. Change brown eyes to blue. Etcetera. So that when people read the story, they can almost imagine that this teen took this picture JUST to be a tiny little book cover for that particular story. And it’s not just because he’s cute, or whatever. It might be the look in his eye, or the smirk on his face, or some sort of dreamy inner quality that I was looking for that truly embodies the story that I was writing at that time. Facial expressions and smiles (or frowns) and little hints that really seem to represent exactly what I was thinking of when I spent all of that time typing it all out for my readers’ enjoyment. It’s the best feeling in the world to find JUST the right boy, in JUST the right picture, for JUST the right story! Hehehe, I love it! 😛

And that always leads to the second question that I get asked most often…

“Jesus, Comsie…where do you get all of those really CUTE boys that you use for your story pics???”

And that’s where the new re-imagining of the “Inner Visions” forum comes into play. From here on, it will act as a free ‘boy gallery’ that I update multiple times throughout every single week! You guys wanted to know where all of those amazing beauties come from…now you can check back almost daily and find out for yourself! Nothing super explicit, nothing illegal, no nudity, no porn! So if you’re thinking that you’re gonna stop by and find a bunch of ‘stroke’ material…ummm, you’ll have to use you’re imagination. Hehehe, they are all fully clothed boys (some have shirts open or off, because…the internet), but nothing that you wouldn’t find in any one of my story’s title cards. Nothing gratuitous. So don’t expect a ‘naked from the waist down’ minor bent over the hood of a car or anything. Sorry, this ain’t this kinda party! Hehehe, you guys should know me better than that by now! 😛

This will be a place where I can still post the occasional exclusive or let fans know what I’m working on for the next issue, other authors can promote their stories and articles in Imagine as well, the community ‘Q & A’ questions will be posted there, more pretty boy pop videos, more gay themed films for teens, you can still stay updated with some Imagine’s most popular boys from issues past…and NOW…you get free pics of some of the cutest, most stunning, boys that I’ve ever come across on the internet on top of it! Hehehe! So feel free to jump in, or just lurk at random. The party goes on with or without ya! It’s not like I’m not going to have fun sharing cute boys with the world with a few moments of my time! I love it! ::Giggles::

These are just pics that I’ve collected over the years, where I found someone to be really gorgeous, or thought he’d/she’d be an amazing pick for one of my characters if I had to cast the in a movie version tomorrow. And if you find some that you like for one of your stories…feel free to use them for your own. Hehehe! Dont worry, I keep all of my BEST boys for myself! LOL!

Now…that being said…

Listen…I understand that not everyone shares my attraction to boys. I get it. And you don’t have to. I’m really not asking you to. None of this is about sexual exploitation or any of that stuff that you’ve already got building up in the back of your mind right now and are looking to toss at me like a live grenade. Ok? Please don’t. It doesn’t take a whole LOT of energy to ignore you…but it’s energy spent, just the same. I’m just going to delete it and go on with the rest of my life. So please don’t ‘rage read’ this section and then deliberately guide yourselves over to the board to pick out something to whine and complain about, because I guarantee you that nobody cares. There’s nothing gratuitous or sleezy about it. I would never post anything that you could find on Instagram or Tumblr or something. All I want to do is share the kind of beauty that I see every day with anyone who’s interested in appreciating it for what it is. That’s all. Nothing more.

I’ve got no laws that I want to break. No audience that I want to convince. No ‘agenda’ to spread. And if that’s not your particular vibe, I’m ok with that. I don’t expect it to be for everybody. If you think the boys there are really cute? Then GREAT! Obviously, I agree with you! Hehehe! But if you think the boys there are really cute…and that unsettles or disturbs you…ummm, then this section of Imagine Magazine might not be for you. Maybe you don’t want to see it. Maybe you want to embrace because you have some other things to work out for yourself. And maybe you just shrug your shoulders and don’t care. All of that is ok with me. This was built to be a place for me and those who enjoy and appreciate beauty in the same way. So drop in any time. Or don’t. Life is grand. Choices are infinite. Go out and find some that speak to you personally. K?

I think I just wanted a place to be ‘free’ again. It’s soooo exhausting trying to find the energy to explain and defend myself to people who just…judged me before I even got a chance to speak a single word to protect myself. With NOBODY to back me up publicly! Only in private little whispers that nobody ever hears. So I feel like I’m the ‘fall guy’ for an entire community that hides in the shadows and that I cant ever depend on to fight for me the way I’m willing to fight for them. It’s lonely, you know?

I mean…why is anybody attracted to anybody? What’s the big deal? This entire website was built for YOU to not feel so alone…and yet, some days it makes me feel more alone than ever before. Try to explain your attraction to bigger guys, or muscles, or body hair, or whatever. It just…it is what it is. Why can’t that be ok? I want my little safe haven online back, where I can just be myself without shame and ridicule being a part of my life. No complaints. No snide remarks. Like…leave me alone, you know? This is who I am. Period. It’s who I’ve been from the very beginning. I’m working on 24 years of being online now…and my truth has been consistent for every last one of them. It’s not going to change, no matter how many vile and venomous words you spew at me. So go away, already. I really don’t care. I mean that. Go out there and be the best internet ‘Karen’ that you can be. I wish you well.

I just got so tired of feeling like I have to fight and struggle to defend myself. Against what? Against who? You don’t like me? This planet is full of vast oceans, massive countries, giant deserts, frozen tundras, limitless forests, insurmountable mountains…that you can use to get as far away from me as humanly possible. Go there. I promise, I won’t waste my time coming to seek you out to ‘bother’ you with my opinion. Count on it.

Either you love me, you hate me, you respect me, or you merely tolerate me. Make up your mind and let me know what your decision is so I can decide whether or not to stay the fuck away from you too. Your opinion is not all that important to me. Or to anybody, really. It just isn’t. Stop kidding yourself.

True power comes from what you do to build people up…not tear them down. That’s just personal weakness and cowardice, personified. Just know that.

I’m calling the new picture galleries, ‘BeholderRising’, as that’s where all the beauty really lies…right? In the eye of the beholder? And it’s my honest expression of what I, personally, find attractive and amazing. (Hehehe, and I’ve been told that I have really GOOD taste! Which is inspiring!) All boys, from all walks of life. It’s an archive that I want to share with each and every one of you, if you’re interested. Something to surprise you, something to thrill you, as well as something to say thank you for supporting me and the stories for as long as you have!

These are the boys that I write about. And, if you’re a fan…then these are the boys that you read about. They are drawn from a sense of boyish nostalgia that a lot of people tend to forget about when they get older. Allow me to reintroduce you the kind of wiggles you used to have back when you were back in school and finding that dazzling piece of eye candy for yourself for the first time! 🙂

If you ever want to stop by and watch one of my biggest online failures being resurrected and made into one of my biggest online successes…check out the new ‘Inner Visions’ forum when you get a chance! ::Giggles:: It’s not often that I can turn something like this around in such a profound way! But the board is getting a brand new revival, and I LOVE it! I update with new pics and videos almost every night! So…I mean…you could NOT go looking for a collection of the cutest and most breathtaking boys boys that I’ve ever found on the internet over years and years of picking them up, one by one…but why? LOL!

Sometimes our failures can be the one tool that teaches us how to be better at what we do. How to grow, and evolve into something magnificent. I think the ‘Inner Visions’ board is one of those major stepping stones that has led me towards the light. I really think that I needed it to fail to find it’s true calling. And I’ve found it now. So….hehehe, badass! Right?

You guys wanted to know where my cute boy characters came from? Now you know! You can check right now, and there are literally HUNDREDS of heartbreakers for you to scan through…with more being posted all the time!!! Enjoy! There is MORE than enough beauty to go around! There’s almost TOO much! Allow me to recruit you to help me carry the burden of it all! So spread the word!

Don’t feel ‘weird’ about it! They’re HOT! Shhhh…I won’t tell! Hehehe, just hang out in the background somewhere so no one will see ya watching! K?

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