This was unexpected!
I think Sharon is in love with Chandler! Seriously!
Yes, I definitely think it’s pretty clear that, if she could, Sharon would find a way to handcuff Chandler to the hot water heater in the basement and keep him for her very own forever!
So, let me explain:
This evening, after we were settling in after dinner, our door goes ding-dong. All of us jumped at that because it was getting on towards 9 PM and we don’t usually have visitors that late. Sharon gets the door and gasps!
Both my Dad and I froze thinking that maybe we were about to get robbed or something by the way Sharon was acting. But, instead, Chandler came in and says ‘Hi’.
Sharon just stood there with her mouth hanging open catching flies, hehehe!
“Uhmmm, could anyone, like, introduce use or something?” Chandler looked back and forth between us and Sharon. Me and my Dad were too stunned at Sharon’s expression to think for a moment, but then my Dad did the honors.
“Oh, well, sure! Chandler, this is Sharon. Sharon this is . . .” but he was cut off by Sharon in mid-sentence with the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while!
“Jesus H. Christ, you’re hot!” Sharon blurted. I lost it and fell over on the couch turning red with laughter. It was so totally filterless! So totally Sher-Sher!
“Ermm . . . thank you? That’s awfully nice of you to say!” Chandler is ‘blushy’ anyway, but this was the first time I’d ever seen him turn beet red! It was so cute! Sharon was looking similarly except she looked ashamed on top of it. Awww, it was such a ‘right out there’ thing to say and true to her feelings! Why should she feel ashamed about that? Then again, I’m stupid for even criticizing that since I won’t speak about my feelings to anyone freely myself . . . except for Chan Chan. It’s funny how he seems to bring out the truth in people.
“Oh, gosh! I’m so sorry! My mouth sometimes goes off before my brain has a chance to do anything about it! I’m so embarrassed!” Sharon really started to crumple, but Chandler came to her rescue just like I knew he would!
Oh, boy! You know what? I know it’s wrong in all kinds of ways but, I kind of started falling for Chandler too right there tonight. The way he handled Sher Sher was so . . . beautiful!
He goes: “Oh no! Please don’t feel bad! You’re pretty gorgeous yourself! I’m Chandler Cross.” He reaches for her hand and she just stares at him for a second like she just got hit by a left hook! Hehehe!
“I’m Sharon Temple. I’m, um, Mr. Temple’s niece and Brandon’s cousin. Heh.” Sher Sher blushes almost as red as Chandler. If things weren’t the way they were, I’d think those two would have made a beautiful couple. But, that was the sad point in all of this . . . Chandler could never be what Sher Sher would want and it reminded me . . .
. . . I can never be what Marie wants.
The Temples and the Crosses seem to be star-crossed in every way.
I think that’s why Chandler put on the ‘Gay’ with a trowel. It kind of took my Dad by surprise and it was hard for me not to snicker, but all I’d have to do to stop myself was to look at the poor confused expression on Sher Sher’s face and any laughter I might have had dried up in my throat.
She looked so disappointed!
“Oh my GAWD! Did you guys see the Golden Globes the other night! I SWEAR! Jennifer Lawrence’s dress was AMAA-AZE!” This was the sort of thing Chandler would blurt out as we had snacks and chitchatted. It was so unlike the *real* Chandler! It was obviously done on purpose for Sher Sher’s benefit. I had to wonder why Chandler came here at all! Just to talk about the Golden Globes? I didn’t think he even watched things like that! Certainly, not to do some kind of Ru Paul Review on red carpet dresses, or whatever!
“In any case, I came over ‘coz of Brandon’s continually messaging me and to let him know I’d not forgotten about him. I’m also under orders to invite all of you to dinner tomorrow night at Mom and Pop’s house if you want to come. I’ll be there too so I can personally catch up with Brandon, and stuff.” It was my turn to blush. To think Chandler would come here personally just to see me and invite us to dinner just gave me a case of the wiggles.
That feeling, kind of, faded too when I saw the look of shock on Sharon’s face as she looked at me! I suddenly had a case of chills instead of wiggles! I think she was putting two and two together and I had to do something fast to stop that from happening!
“So, is Marie going to be there?” I asked Chandler in a way that would, sort of, get what might be happening with Sher Sher because of his antics.
“Um, well of course, Silly! Your girlfriend would kill me if I didn’t make double-sure you were coming along too. I think that’s the whole point of this thing.” Chandler said in a way that looked like he was ‘shocked’ that I should even ask about such a thing.
Dad smiled proudly at my having a girlfriend and Sharon put her hands over her mouth and made a squeaky noise that made Chandler snicker at her.
“No fucking way! My Brandy has a girlfriend?” Then, embarrassingly, she scrambled over to where I was sitting on the couch and gathered me up in an excited hug. Geeze, I never thought it would be that big a deal for her! Sher Sher completely boobified me over it!
“Sher, please! Hehehe!” I tried to wiggle out of the hug, but I couldn’t manage it.
She sat next to me, almost ON me, and started giving me the third degree. So, I told her what I could about Marie and how she was Chandler’s little sister and sister to the star football player in school. This all made Sher Sher even more goofy about the whole deal. I was glad, all strange connections between Chandler’s gay act and his association with me disappeared like smoke in a hurricane! I owe him big for this!
“Okelie Dokelie. Well, I have done did my duty! Tomorrow night at 6 PM sharp, ‘Brandy’. We’ll see you there. I gotta run, but I’ll be around tomorrow night. Thanks for having me Mr. Temple and it was a great pleasure to meet you Sharon! Toodles!” It was funny how Chandler mentioned his pleasure at meeting Sharon but then signed off with the Gayest ‘Toodles’ in the history of rainbow flags! Fortunately, Sharon was too focused and happy for my ‘new-found love’ to bother with Chandler. I can see why Sher Sher’s always been the survivor of the family. She gets over disappointments like the trooper she is! We all said good night to Chandler, but Sharon did have to add: “Be safe!”
She may not be disappointed, but, I suppose, she’ll always have some kind of feelings for Chandler now. She only sends people off with the ‘be safe’ if she really cares about them. It is a thing she does that I picked up on when I was little.
In the evening, my Dad and Sharon joined me for the dinner at the Crosses.
I think, due to the added ‘adult supervision,’ that Marie behaved herself a bit more ladylike than she usually does with me. Hehehe. She even dressed in her ‘Church’ clothes to leave a good impression. All the other Crosses were just as they usually are, Mr. Cross was in his usual kakis and grid patterned shirt deal. Mrs. Cross was in jeans and a loose blouse so she could cook. Jamie looked like a laundry hamper had fallen over and caught clothes on him by mistake. Chandler was his usual stylish self, though I don’t know how he could possibly eat anything with those skin tight jeans on! It was all I could do not to drool watching him walk around with those two beautiful butt cheeks rolling with each step! Oh my God!
We Temples had all dressed nicely, similarly to Marie. ‘Church’ nice, I guess. Slacks, button down shirts, and Sharon even sported a rare dress that I didn’t even know she’d brought with her. Sharon is not one for dresses, I’ve noticed. I really do think it had something to do with Chandler. I noticed he’d managed to sit as far away from Sharon as possible. He often egged Jamie on to babble endlessly about whatever just to distract Sharon from her staring at him. Apparently, she was getting just as much of an eyeful as I was! Hehehe! Awww! It’s sad and cute all at once! Couldn’t Chandler be just a little bit Bi for Sharon’s sake?
Is it weird I focus on what people are wearing so much? I guess it’s part of the Gay thing being a clothes-hound. In any case, Nameless Hacker, I apologize for my clothes details.
Not much else happened at dinner except for my Dad and Jamie’s Pop talking about football drafts or something. Jamie got Chandler, myself, and Marie involved in a session of Overwatch. Somehow, it had been rigged up so we could all play from three computers, but see ourselves on a big screen TV through Chandler’s character. Sharon sat with us and watched, but eventually snuck down and sat next to Chandler pretty close. Oh, my!
When she suggested we switch to Call Of Duty we had no idea it was going to be the face-off of all time between Chan Chan and Sher Sher. The two were locked in a hot PvP firefight! Chandler’s video gamer skills were matched by Sharon’s real tactical knowledge from her naval training. It made for an exciting game! Funny, though, I could have sworn Chandler threw the game so Sharon could win. He did a stupid move that we know he’d never pull usually and that got Sharon the kill shot she needed! I think she may have known it too since she didn’t crow too much about her win over such a strong opponent. She did sneak a kiss on Chan’s cheek however and, you know what, it made Chandler blush like crazy! I wonder if my sister-cousin might actually turn Chandler a little Bi after all. You know, just for her!
All around, the Temples and the Crosses had a very nice evening together. I guess there is something to be said about Church Community, or whatever. Even sinners like me and Chandler can take center stage when two families come together. My Dad had the most fun I think I’ve seen him have since Mama died! He needs to get out more! Sher Sher has been very good for him these past few days because she gets him out and going and away from his usual rut of work/home/work/home, etc. I don’t know what will happen when she has to leave again. I wish I could pick up the slack, but school and stuff keep me busy so much and he’s always being ‘Dad’ with me so it’s like he can’t relax all the way. Ohhh, I wish I was older so I could help him out more!
By the by, I didn’t get much ‘quality’ time with Chandler to discuss Gay stuff. The rest of the family was basically climbing all over him about this, that, and the other thing. Apparently, he’s been working on this big photo exhibition he’ll be putting on at the Art Institute next weekend. I suppose, I’ll be going to see that, then! I’d love to get his ear for a bit, though. I have so many questions! Questions about Marie, Billy, and now Sher Sher. I’m too socially awkward to be able to deal with so much ‘socially’ stuff! You know? It hurts my poor little brain!
Anyway, yes I’m rambling.
A nice weekend and school is starting to wind down. Summer is around the corner! I can’t wait! I need to get out of my own rut too! Maybe my Dad and I can help each other out of our ruts.
This is Brandon, rutting. 😮