A few minutes after we settled on a movie to watch, particularly, Donny & I who chose it, I heard my Momma.
*Thunk Thunk Thunk*
Hearing her footsteps go from the first floor to the basement, where we all were, for some reason, gave me anxiety. Actually, there were many reasons. She appeared with a warm grin and a tray full of 4 glasses, filled with homemade lemonade, and a giant silver colored bowl full of popcorn. “Here ya’ go, kids!”
“Maaaaaa.” I said in a little whiny tone, insinuating how I, one time, told her that I didn’t want to be called ‘kids’ in front of any friends of mine, even though, the reality was, in the grand scheme of things, we were all still kids, just growing kids.
“Ahem.” She said looking at me and getting the hint. “Ahh’ made you some snacks GUYS.” she said, correcting her statement as she settled the tray down on the coffee table in front of us.
The first to thank her was actually Sascha. “Thank you, miss.” He said looking up at her.
She stopped what she was doing, a little surprised at his manors, given his ‘history’ and said “You-You quite welcome, young man.” and gave him a surprised little grin. Well, that was a start to her warming up to him.
After she had gone, we began the movie to watch on Tubi. I mean, the movies were free. The movie we settled on was actually not a scary one, but, one we never saw before, but, was the winner of the night which caught my attention called, “Logan” starring Leo Howard.
After watching the movie for a while I, at first, heard a few complaints and whines about the movie’s plot from Sascha & even Liam, but, hey, no offense but, I thought the main character was cute. And, I related to him SOOO much. He was quiet, and didn’t think much of himself, got bullied by one really mean bully, was secretly starting to write a movie which no one in the movie believed he could actually acconplish, leaving him feeling alone, frustrated, isolated, and secluded, even though he did have some support. I just loved his character so much. I related to him in almost every single way. In many ways, I WAS him. His older brother was a good character and actor as well who supported him, for the most part, anyway.
40 minutes into the movie, however, is when it got really good. Lots of drama, angst, and I really liked where the movie was going. Donny never complained. He was better than that. Then, I heard it.
“Pass the popcorn, PLEASE.” Sascha said. That’s the first time I saw him take any initiative to eat anything that evening, which I couldn’t help but think was a bit odd, but I ignored it, entirely, nonetheless.
Liam had the giant bowl of popcorn on his lap at the time. So, to my peripheral vision, I saw, to my left, him reach over me and shove it on Sascha’s lap. It not only looked like it could have hurt, but it spilled popcorn on his pants and on the floor.
“HEYY.” Sascha said. “Watch it. What’s your PROBLEM?”
Liam slowly turned his head making us all feel his energy and said, “You know what my problem is.” Oh my God. I really didn’t want any of this. I was starting to really like this movie.
“I’m just sitting here.” His ex-friend said.
“Yeah for now, until you pull some crap.” Liam retorted under his breath. Sascha didn’t reply, TRYING to hold back any remarks he normally could have so easily made if I wasn’t there; but I could tell he really wanted to say something. He actually didn’t want to start anything…. Or continue anything, for that matter. I partially believed it was because of me & maybe, even for Donny. That could have just been my imagination. But, I don’t think it was.
I was forced to rewind it as their little banter interrupted the film. We continued to watch and I was really starting to love this movie. I looked to my left, and I saw Liam just glare at the screen. I spoke, finally.
Leaning into his ear, I said “Liam can we just…. Enjoy the movie, please?”
He huffed and spoke, “You don’t even know what he PUT me through.” Liam said to me in a low voice and then glared at Sascha.
“Oh, shutup. Youu KNOW how he is.” Sascha said, me not entirely understanding what they were talking about, but assuming it was when Sascha lied about Liam pulling a knife on him to get him in trouble.
“No, YOU SHUTUP.” Liam retorted and hit his arm, softly. Then, they started to actually fight, sublty, as I was sitting right in between them getting, accidently, jabbed a few times with their forearms and elbows from their subtle hits and jabs. Some of them actually hurt me a bit.
Antonio, immediately paused the movie and looked at them and spoke, “Guys…. Guys stop it.” He said, concerned. He didn’t like this; he didn’t like this at all. You could just tell he wasn’t used to seeing such things or was raised this way.
They weren’t stopping and I got out of their way to sit next to my bestie to sheild myself. I didn’t know what to do. Oh my god. Oh my god. They were…. They were going to fight. They were going to fight right in my own house!!!! My family couldn’t know this and Donny was WATCHING it all. I couldn’t even remotely hide this from him. What could I do??? Nothing.
“Eghh ugh… you- you know he made me…” Sascha said in between their fighting.
They continued to fight and Liam got him in a head lock, not hurting him, but, dominating him. I HATED seeing my friends doing this to each other. They both meant alot to me.
“Yeah right. You’re so full of it.” Liam said.
“UGHHHHHHH. GEt OFF me.” Sascha lashed at him and pushed him hard. That’s the Sascha I knew and saw before.
“He MADE ME DO THAT… Don’t you get on me about that. Don’t you GET IT?!” He said.
Silence. Liam paused for a moment and spoke.
“…What?” Liam stopped for a moment, catching his breath.
“…. Stop pretending like you don’t know the truth.”
“Spill it.” Liam said as he jabbed Sascha hard in the arm. Now, that one looked like it hurt.
“…..You know how he is.” Sascha hissed at him. I knew he meant Jesse Bradford…. Who wouldn’t know that?
“You’re still not spelling it out for me.” Liam retorted.
“Oh, God. Liam. He-He…..” Sascha looked at all of us before he spoke, embarrassed and debating whether or not he should spill the beans for the very first time. “He- he threatened me…” He paused. “He made me mess with you, you IDIOT.” He spat at Liam so coldly, it was as if pure ice poured from his mouth.
Liam paused, thinking for a moment.
“Then, why didn’t you TELL ME, you retard.” He responded.
Silence for a moment filled the air. Then, Sascha said, “He said if I told anyone he’d beat me &… Worse. Stop acting like this is a surprise, Liam. You’ve known him for two years longer than I even have.”
“THEN, WHY ARE YOU EVEN STILL FRIENDS WITH HIM!!?” Liam yelled, making a very valid point.
Sascha, immediately, looked forward with an empty look. It was hallow. No response. Until, then, he said softly, “Don’t.” The movie was still paused.
“Don’t, WHAT?” Liam said, impatiently at that point.
Sascha responded, once again very softly, “Don’t ask me that.”
Looking to my right, I almost couldn’t help but find Donny’s reaction to all of this a bit comical. The look of shock on his face was one with widened eyes as his mouth was unwillingly opened. He looked like he was watching two people fighting over a plate of burnt pasta to see who earned the right to eat it. It was almost ridiculous that he was even watching this right in front of his very own emerald green eyes and seeing just how much I was in the middle of it all, both literally & figuratively. He was seeing, first hand, just a glimpse of what I have been hiding from him the entire time he had known me. He was beginning to see my secrets. My cheeks were burning red. It was actually starting to annoy me. This was EMBARRASSING.
I, unfortunately, had to use the restroom. I didn’t want to leave Antonio alone with them. But, I literally had to go. We’d all been out for a while and it had been a while since I went.
“I need to use the bathroom.” I said to Antonio and held his forearm, almost reassuring him everything would be okay. I looked into his emerald eyes and I could tell he was confused and nervous as to what was really going on. I got up, decided not to use the restroom which was downstairs, but, the one on the first floor. Honestly, I did so just to get a break from it all.
After I was done, I ran into my mother as my father was already asleep.
“Havin’ fun, sweetie?” She said, nonchantly, putting some things in the fridge and organizing the cereal cabinet for the following morning.
“Yeah!” I lied. “Thanks for the snacks ma’ they love ’em.” I said with a grin: the fakest one I could muster to hide what had been occuring just one story down. Luckily, we had a pretty good sound proof door to the basement.
“That’s good. Not too much longer. ’bout 45 minutes, okay?”
“Okay, mah sure thing thank you!” I said and darted quickly through the kitchen and ran to the basement door. I closed it and, instantly heard ruckus and slight yelling.
After I ran down the stairs, I came to see Liam and Sascha standing to the far left of the basement ‘living room’ near the wall, literally fighting. Not violently, not YET, anyway. But, it was getting heated. I couldn’t really tell what they were talking about, but, I just sat next to Donny and held his hand.
Donny gave them a look almost as though he was about ready to leave. He looked genuinely concerned and downright scared.
I stared at the movie which was STILL paused, the movie I was trying to watch with my four friends. I remembered how badly the Logan kid felt.
That’s when I felt it. My blood boiled. That was it. The volcano from everything I had been through was about to erupt. And, may the Lord be with whoever got in my way.
I darted up from my seat, and literally got in between them and shoved Liam SO hard away from Sascha that he almost fell and glared directly into his eyes with a dark stare. I, then, pushed Sascha hard enough for him to hit the other wall by accident. “Will YOU BOTH JUST STOP IT!” I screamed.
The look everyone gave me and the silence that haunted the room was so quiet it was literally deafening. “I’m so SICK of all o’ this this- SHIT!” They NEVER heard me talk like that or use profanity as my parents would never approve. But, I was done. “I’m sick of all the crap in this school. Errbody hatin’ each other, tellin’ secrets, bein’ fake. That’s it. YOU’RE ALLLLL FAKE. Why can’t everyone just…. Get along and BE HAPPY, for once? You know…. HAPPYYY??? DO any o’ you even KNOW what that feels like?! I do. I was happy in Georgia when I had almost basically nothing. And, you know what, I’m SICK of all of you actin’ like a bunch o’ little babies, hatin’ each other and bein’ mean for no reason. Most of the kids in school, in my opinion, have lost their minds!!” Silence continued to fill the air as they let me speak, unable to even know how to react to me.
“So, both o’ you either get along, sit down, SHUT UP, OR LEAVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” I hissed at them like a snake would hiss at whoever he was about to poison with his venom.
The look they gave me clearly showcased they never expected me to ever act so seriously. But, I was over it. I was ready to defend whoever I felt needed defending, already. My adrenaline kicked in. Maybe, it was the candy that fueled me. Maybe, it was them and everyone who had hurt me in the past. Maybe, it was all of my bullying that I had been hiding for months. Or, maybe it was the deadly medley combination of them all.
“Now I’MMM gonna watch my movie with MY best friend. And, you can either watch with us and be normal, or not.” I said and walked over to the couch and slammed my back against it next to Antonio, took the giant bowl of popcorn, placed it on my lap, pressed play, and acted as though Liam & Sascha didn’t even exist until they made their move. Donny stayed silent and just went along with the movie for the time being as I took his hand, probably out of fear of doing or saying anything else, since this was all, technically, none of his business, and he didn’t know what to do, anyway. I was there for him. Technically, I was there for everybody.
They could have left. They could have kept fighting. They could have even fought me. But, they didn’t. Neither of them wanted to leave me or disappoint me. So, they slowly walked back to the couch and sat next to one another to my left.
After more time went by and the movie continued, it got to a point where we all got emotional, the poor kid, Logan felt so horrible after his brother telling him his writing was bad and threw the pages of his script at him out of anger, that he was crying on the couch. After his brother left, he was later found by his older brother when he came home, hanging from a tree. Forget it. I was crying.
I was so glad I picked this movie. This was such a LESSON to Sascha and even for Liam in some ways. Do you see? Do you see what bullying or saying the wrong words to the wrong person at the wrong time can do? In the film, for a long while, you thought he was dead and the writers did that on purpose, making me almost want to stop watching. It got too real for me. Then, it showed a recap of his brother saving him just in time where the doctor said two more minutes and he would have been brain dead. He was blue when he found him. My god. He survived.
When the movie was over, Donny spoke and sniffed a bit. “Uhh. Billy. I have to go now, my papa, will be mad, it’s 9:30 already.” He said and gave me a hug.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Uhm, thank you for coming.” I said and grinned at him.
He looked at the other two and simply, and cautiously waved at them. “Goodbye everybody.”
They were nice to him. Sascha waved goodbye and nicely bid him farewell. “I’ll see you in Ms. Lizette’s class, Antonio.” He said, genuinely.
“Yeah. Okay. Maybe, we can make a recipe, together.” Donny said positively and even a little smile.
“Okay.” Sascha replied.
“Bye, Donny. Thanks for coming. Sorry about…. Uhm. Just sorry about everything. Goodnight.” Liam said.
“S’okay.” Donny said and walked up the stairs. There were a lot of questions that I knew he needed and wanted answers to from the look he gave me as he walked up the stairs.
After watching some random YouTube videos, drinking a few more drinks, Sascha with his “seltzer”, and Liam having a curfew at some point, I heard Sascha speak.
Actually, he giggled.
“What are you laughin’ at?”
Sascha smiled staring into nothing. “You remember the time we set off those firecrackers under the bleachers, and Jesse almost got hit in the butt from one of ’em and had to run off?”
Liam couldn’t help, but, giggle, himself. “Of course I do. God, that was the best. It was Mikie’s fault. He lit them wrong. I bought ’em, but, he wouldn’t listen to me on how to light them right. That kid is more dense than a brick wall.”
“No, IIIII bought ’em, REMEMBER?” Sascha said as he was now to my right, leaning over to talk to Liam.
“NO. I went with you, paid you the cash, you knew the guy and made the deal. So, technically I bought them. You just rang it up.” Liam said.
“50/50?” Sascha said with a raised eyebrow.
“….50/50.” Liam said. They both…. Were like laughing. No, actually they were giggling.
They way they looked at one another, the way they giggled….. That wasn’t like normal giggling. I recognized that. They were… They were ….
Then, I noticed them look at one another, mentally communicating with each other, and, then, looking at ME. Then, they looked back at one another.
They smiled. And Liam nodded his head at him. I felt a hand on my leg. My right leg had Sascha’s hand on it. This made me look at him. What the heck is he doing? I darted my head at Liam who just simply did the same thing and they both started to rub me. Uhm. Uhhhh.
“Is… Is this okay?” Sascha asked me, shyly.
I didn’t answer. So, he took that as a yes and just leaned in and kissed my cheek, softly. He kept kissing it and kissing it and I naturally turned, feeling both of them caress my body as I melted into whatever was going on. And, I finally met Sasha’s pretty pink lips with a full on hot kiss for the very first time. My god. Two kisses, two boys, one night. Once I did that, I thought Liam would kill me. But, he didn’t. He- he actually LIKED it. He encouraged it. He kissed my neck while Sascha gave me and taught me my very first french kiss.
“MMMmmmh.” I moaned and breathed heavily as I melted into them both pleasing me at the same time. Sascha pulled away softly and so did Liam after playing with me for a while. They looked at one another and slowly closed their eyes and actually kissed each other right in front of me!!!!!!! What’s going on?? Did they like…. Do this before? The sight of them doing that was honestly so…. sexy to me. And, I didn’t know why. It was like a taboo. Which made me like it, like sneaking cookies from a cookie jar. Liam grabbed my hand to rub his back, shoulders, & my favorite part, his chest while Sascha egged me to kiss his own neck. So, I obliged and kissed his neck, chin, & cheeks, all over giving him a few hickeys, just as he did to me, as they kissed and I played with their bodies, and vice versa.
I heard Sascha gasp the sexiest sound I ever head from him when I did that. He was reeaaallly into it. I did whatever they wanted. I-I wanted to subconsciously stop this but I secretly LOVED it. This was driving me crazy. We played around for a while and rubbed each other’s bodies, relishing the shared intimacy. Then, we instantly heard my mother holler from above the stairs.
“Boys! It’s time for bed. Start wrapping things up okay?!” We separated from each other faster than lightning could ever strike at her calling.
Shaking my voice I said, “Uh Uhhhhh okay, Ma!!”
I looked at them both in complete shock.
“You’re beautiful, Billy.” Sascha said. “Thanks….. This was… Fun.” He said with a full on ‘PlayBoy’ grin before he got up.
Eventually, after Liam and Sascha both left. I was just in a daze on my couch as to everything that just happened that night. My mother walked downstairs and spoke to me.
“Did you know that Sascha boy gave Shannon all of his Halloween candy? That was so nice of,-” She said. That shocked me. But, I was still in a daze. She, then, noticed my neck and widened her eyes. She walked up to me and examined it. “What’s THAT?” She said. I had no answer. She looked around and thought. She contemplated what to do or say at the moment. “We’ll talk tomorrow.” she said. “And, don’t you tell me you fell. That one’s gettin’ old…”
Noticing a chocolate bar on the table, she spoke almost flirtatiously and said, “Hmmm….3 Musketeers…. My favorite.” She said and unwrapped it and ate it while walking around to clean up.
If she only knew what those words really meant…