Dancing on a Star
I couldn’t believe what Jeff had said to me. His warning made it obvious he knew I was gay. I also knew that he was right. My world was crumbling down around me, and there was nothing I could do. I felt helpless, and there was no one I could talk to about my feelings.
I could talk to Tracy. He had gone through what I am now feeling. He said he was glad his family moved because of the problems he had faced. But what advice could he give me? From what I could see, things were no different for him now. It would only be a matter of time before other students began to treat him like they do Jeff.
I also felt bad for Jeff. The hurt in his eyes when he told me he knew why other students had been avoiding him for years gave me a little pain in my heart. I can’t describe the look he gave me when he said it. It was as if I could feel the loneliness he had experienced. And I am afraid that is the path my life is now following. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to withstand the peer pressure. I’m only sixteen. I don’t want my life to be filled with hate and scorn.
I quietly left the library when the bell rang and headed for my fifth period class. I was startled when Tyler walked up beside me. He nervously looked over at me and asked, “Is it true, Jack?”
“Is what true?”
He replied, “Jimmy says you’re gay. Are you?”
I looked over in disbelief. I couldn’t believe that one of my best friends had just come out and asked me something like that. Without answering, I quickened my pace and hurried down the hall to class.
When I entered sixth period, Tracy was sitting in the back of the room. He motioned for me to join him. “Hey, Jack,” he smiled as he pointed to an empty desk next to his. “I saved you a seat.”
I wanted to turn and sit in the desk where I had been sitting, but I reluctantly sat down beside him. “Thanks,” I muttered as I took my world history book out of my book bag.
Tracy looked worriedly over at me. “You okay, Jack?”
I sighed and replied, “I’ll get by.” Just then, the bell rang, and Mr. Humphreys began class. Fifty minutes later, I knew all I needed to know about the Mesopotamia.
Tracy stood when the bell rang. “Jesus,” he muttered. “I can’t believe how boring this guy is.” For the first time all day, I let out a laugh.
Absentmindedly, I followed Tracy to his locker as he put his books away. When he finished, he walked beside me to my locker. “You seem pretty depressed,” he remarked as I opened my locker and crammed my book bag inside. I had a story to read for literature, but I could google it online and read it at my computer. No sense in carrying a ten-pound book home in my bookbag.
When I didn’t respond, he asked, “Well, are you?”
I asked, “Am I what?” I knew what he was asking me, but I didn’t want to answer. There was no way I could tell him what I was feeling. I still hated myself for the way I had treated Jeff over the years. That’s something you can’t explain to anyone.
“Depressed,” he said.
I slammed my locker shut and headed off down the hall with Tracy running to catch up with me. He grabbed my arm and stopped me. “Do you need to talk about something?”
Tears started to well up in my eyes. My voice quivered when I asked him, “How do you do it?”
He gave me a puzzled look and asked, “Do what?”
“Handle being gay?”
He smiled and replied, “I dance.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hall. “Come on.”
“Where are we going?”
He giggled and replied, “To dance.”
As Tracy and I headed home, I kept looking behind us to see if Jimmy and the other guys were following us. Since basketball practice was just starting, I didn’t expect to see them. However, I still wasn’t sure what their schedule was.
As we approached my house, I told Tracy that I needed to go change into something more comfortable. I had no idea what he meant by dancing, but I was sure I couldn’t do it in the jeans and shirt I was wearing.
I thought he would head to his house, but instead he said, “I’ll go with you.”
I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to follow me. My mother’s car was in the driveway. Lately, she had said some very derogatory comments about Tracy. I still wasn’t talking to her after the argument we recently had.
She was in the family room watching television with Karen. I tried to hurry to my room, but she saw me and hollered out, “Jack! Can you come in here a minute?”
I motioned for Tracy to remain in the hall out of sight, but he still followed me into the family room. My mother scowled when she noticed him behind me. I asked, “What do you want, Mother?”
She glanced at Tracy and then said, “Your father wants you to clean out the garage.”
“What?” I asked angrily. I knew what she was trying to do. My father didn’t want me to clean the garage. I had done it a week earlier so I could get some money to go to the movies with Jimmy. “I just cleaned it,” I informed her.
“Umm,” she stammered. “He wants you to do it again.”
I stomped my foot on the floor and shouted, “This is bullshit, and you know it!”
Her eyes narrowed, and her face reddened. She pointed to the door and ordered, “Go to your room!” When I turned and stormed out of the room, Tracy started to follow me. She shouted, “Alone!”
Instead of heading upstairs to my room, I headed toward the front door. I opened it and let Tracy exit before me. Once outside, I slammed the door shut. I cringed hoping that I wouldn’t shatter the window. As I angrily made my way across the street, my mother opened the door and shouted out, “Jack! You get back here! If you don’t, then don’t bother to come home tonight!”
Once inside Tracy’s home, he exhaled and muttered, “Holy shit!” He looked worriedly at me and asked, “Are you okay, Jack?”
I looked around to make sure we were alone. I didn’t see his mother’s van in the driveway, so I assumed we were alone. I sat on the stairs and placed my head in my hands. “She’s a bitch,” I muttered angrily.
He sat beside me and asked, “What’s going on?”
I turned and replied, “She doesn’t want me hanging with you.”
I rolled my eyes and responded, “Why do you think?”
“Is it because she thinks I’m gay?”
I smiled and said, “Something like that.”
He stared into my eyes, and then he leaned in and kissed me gently. He started giggling and pulled away. He looked at the door and shouted out, “Hey, Mrs. Woolery! I’m not doing anything nasty with your son.”
I laughed and pushed his shoulder. “You’re an idiot,” I remarked. I leaned in and returned his kiss. It became more passionate as he pushed me back on the stairs and straddled me. I could feel our erections grinding against each other. He reached behind his back and gripped my hard dick. “Mmmm,” I moaned into his mouth. I didn’t resist when he unbuckled the button and unzipped my pants. I thought I would cum when he reached into my underwear and began stroking me.
I knew I should stop him, but I didn’t. Having sex with Tracy would be revenge for the way my mother was treating him. She already suspected that I was gay and having sex with him. There was no point in resisting now. He lowered his body until his face was directly in front of my exposed cock. I gasped when he took it in his mouth and started sucking me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his mouth as it engulfed my cock. I couldn’t believe the incredible sensation I was feeling. It sure felt better than jacking off in the bedroom. Suddenly, I felt that unmistakable feeling just before you cum. I tried to warn Tracy, but it was too late. I exploded into this mouth. He gagged slightly, and then swallowed the creamy mixture. I collapsed against the stairs and tried to catch my breath. He rose and rested his body against mine.
“Feel good?” he smiled.
“You have no idea,” I moaned. He leaned in and gave me a passionate kiss.
“I’ve wanted to do that since the first time I saw you,” he said. He then kissed me again.
My face reddened slightly as I confessed, “I’ve wanted you to.”
He reached around, grabbed my soft cock and asked, “Want me to do it again?”
“No!” I laughed. “Once is enough.”
“You sure?” he asked as he stroked me, trying to get me hard again.
I grabbed his hand and said, “Yeah. I’m sure.”
He stood and reached for my hand. He helped me up and pulled me up the stairs. “Let’s go to my room. We’re going to dance.”
When we got to his room, he closed the door. I watched as he crossed the room and began removing his clothes. I asked, “What are you doing?”
He grinned and replied, “Changing into something more suitable.” He stripped naked, and then he put on a tight pair of shorts. He removed another pair from a dresser drawer and tossed them at me. “Here, put this on.”
I held them up and examined them. They looked like something my little sister, Karen, would wear. I told Tracy, “These won’t fit me.”
“Sure, they will,” he replied as he walked over and began to undress me. When I was naked, he stepped back and scanned my body. My face began to redden as he smiled at my nude body. He pointed at the shorts and said, “Go ahead. Put them on.”
I frowned and attempted to pull them onto my legs. Tracy laughed, leaned down and started tugging at them. “You’re bigger than me,” he exclaimed as he gave them a tug.
“Ouch!” I screamed as the shorts fit snuggly against my balls. He laughed and rubbed them.
“Aw,” he giggled. “Did we hurt your wittle balls.”
I laughed and stated, “You didn’t think they were so little a minute ago.” He gripped my cock and leaned in to kiss me.
We stood in the middle of the room and kissed passionately. He moaned into my mouth when I took his cock and began to stroke it through the thin material. I reached my hand inside his shorts and began to masturbate him.
Suddenly, the door opened. “Tracy? Oh, my God!” It was his mother. We jumped apart, but not before she saw us. I turned and saw my mother standing behind her. I can’t describe the look of horror on her face. Mrs. Craft slammed the door, and I could hear her trying to get my mother to go downstairs.
“My God!” my mother screamed. “I can’t believe what we just saw!” The last thing I heard her shout was, “I’ll kill him!” I then heard their footsteps on the stairs as they headed downstairs.
“No! No! No!” I cried as I walked over and sat down on the bed. Tracy reluctantly sat down beside me.
He asked worriedly, “Are you okay, Jack.”
Tearfully I replied, “Yeah, sure. I’m just great. My mother just saw me kissing you with my hands in your shorts.” I began to cry harder. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”
Tracy reached out to hug me, put I pulled away. “God, Jack!” he exclaimed. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea my mother came home.” When he reached out and pulled me into his chest, I didn’t resist.
We went over to his bed and sat down. I was devastated. All my fears had now been exposed. My mother knew I am gay. Just weeks ago, everyone was fine. I had managed to keep my secret just that- a secret. Now, Tracy had moved across the street and changed my world.
Suddenly, I pulled away from him. A wave of resentment filled me. I hated him. He was the cause of all my problems. If only he hadn’t come into my life. If only he hadn’t tried to get me to dance.
He said that dancing was a release for him. It helped him cope with a cruel world. But involving me in his stupid therapy ruined my life. If only I had gone to my room and not let him seduce me into his imaginary world.
He gave me a worried look and asked, “What’s wrong?”
I stared into his green eyes. Now, instead of being mesmerized, I found them dark and hideous. Those green eyes had made me succumb to a place I didn’t want to be. I didn’t want to be gay. His lust had exposed me, and I felt like a fool for yielding to the temptation.
I stood, looked angrily down at him and said, “I gotta go.” He reached out and attempted to stop me, but I pulled away.
“Jack! Wait!” were the last words I heard him cry out as I bounded down the stairs.
I hurried out the door, stood on the sidewalk and looked across the street at my house. I expected to see my mother looking out the window with the curtain pulled back. The house looked empty and desolate, much like I was feeling inside.
The wind was picking up, and the cold air made me shiver. I looked down at my body to discover that I had rushed so quickly from the house that I was still wearing the skimpy shorts that Tracy had given me to wear. I placed my hand against my crotch. I felt naked and vulnerable. I hurried down the street, not knowing where I was going. My biggest fear was that someone would call the police and report a half-naked boy on the sidewalk.
I was two blocks away when I noticed Jeff heading my way. He stopped and stared at me with a startled look. I hurried up to him. He backed away when I approached, but I reached out and grabbed him tightly.
I begged, “Help me, please!”
He tentatively put his arms around me and held me tightly. “Jack, what is wrong?” I trembled in his embrace. “Why are you outside like this?”
I pulled away and asked, “Do you live around here? Can you take me to your house?”
He looked around and then replied, “Sure.” He pointed down the street. “I live about a block away.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me away. We both kept scanning the area to see if anyone had noticed me.
We walked about a block and half until we came to a large, two-story house. It had a large porch with several rockers. He fumbled for his key, and then he opened the door. I followed him upstairs to his bedroom.
He closed the door and stared at me. His eyes quickly scanned my nearly naked body. He asked, “Tell me what’s going on, Jack. Are you in trouble?”
I walked over to this bed and sat down, burying my head in my hands. “I’m going to kill myself,” I mumbled softly. He sat down beside me and put his arm around me.
“What has happened?” When I didn’t respond, he turned toward me, placed his hands on my shoulders and shook me. “Jack!” he shouted. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
I started to cry, and he wrapped his arm around my waist. I buried my head into his shoulder and wept. He tried to encourage me by telling me that whatever was wrong would be okay. “No, it won’t!” I cried.
After a couple of minutes, I began to relax. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I was sitting practically naked beside Jeff. I stood and asked, “Do you have anything I can wear?” His eyes gazed at my crotch, and he replied, “Yeah. I think so. Hold on.” He walked across the room and left. A minute later, he returned with a pair of shorts and a tee shirt.
“Here,” he said as he handed me the clothes. “These belong to my older brother. They should fit you.” He watched as I put on the shorts and pulled the tee shirt over my body. I then sat back down beside him
I muttered, “Thanks.”
He gave me a worried look and asked, “What’s going on, Jack?” I started to make an excuse when his cell phone rang. He looked at the caller, stood and said, “I’ll be right back.” I figured it must be one of his parents calling, and he didn’t want me to hear their conversation.
Jeff returned a couple of minutes later. He gave me a worried look as he walked across the room, opened a closet door and pulled out a small pair of athletic shorts. He turned and removed the pants the had worn to school. I stared at his narrow ass that was outlined in a tight pair of red bikini underwear. I was disappointed when he pulled the shorts over his body. He then unbuttoned his shirt and removed it. His body was thin, but surprisingly quite muscular for his small build. I stared at the two, pink nipples on his well-defined chest. He blushed when he noticed me staring at him.
He walked across the room and sat down beside me. He put his phone on the bed beside him and said, “That was Tracy. He’s coming over.”
I stood and announced nervously, “I gotta go.”
Jeff gripped my wrist and stopped me. “Jack, don’t go.” He stood and faced me. “I don’t know what is going on, but Tracy told me to keep you here until he gets here.”
Tears filled my eyes. “You don’t understand,” I cried. Jeff reached for me and pulled me into a tight hug.
He muttered softly, “I understand more than you think.” I relaxed in his embrace. He led me back over to the bed and had me sit down. He then sat down next to me as our legs pressed against one another.
I don’t know what made me say it, but I looked into his eyes and announced, “Jeff. I’m gay.”
He smiled slightly and replied, “I know.”
“You do?” It surprised me that he already knew. Then I assumed that Tracy had told him. “Did Tracy tell you?”
“No, Jack,” he replied as he reached down and took my hand in his. “I’ve just watched you over the years. You’re not like all the other guys.” He squeezed my hand tighter. “You never messed with me like Jimmy and the other guys.” His face reddened as he added, “I just kind of hoped you were gay.”
My eyes widened as I responded, “You did?”
He surprised me when he kissed my cheek. He looked into my eyes and said, “You really have no idea how cute you are, do you?”
I laughed and replied, “Me? Cute?” I laughed again. “I don’t think so.”
He squeezed my hand and insisted, “Take my word for it. You are.” I looked at his pink lips and had an urge to kiss him. I think he was expecting me to because he closed his eyes. We jumped when someone started pounding on the door downstairs.
Jeff jumped off the bed and said, “That’s Tracy. I’ll go let him in.” He hurried out the bedroom and bounded downstairs.
I didn’t want to see Tracy. It wasn’t because I thought he was responsible for what happened in his bedroom. I was embarrassed because I had acted like an ass and rushed from his room. I should have stayed and talked about what happened.
Jeff entered the bedroom while Tracy stood at the door looking at me. I could tell by the look on his face he wasn’t sure if I wanted to see him again. I stood, held out my arms and he rushed across the room and pulled me into a tight hug. He kissed me and said, “God, I was so worried about you. I thought you were going to do something to yourself.”
Jeff stood off to the side and watched us. Finally, he asked, “What is going on, Guys?”
We sat on the bed and Tracy explained what happened. He held my hand the entire time he told Jeff about our mothers barging in on us in his bedroom. When he finished, Jeff responded with an astonished, “Wow!” He looked worriedly at me and asked, “What are you going to do, Jack?”
I shook my head and replied, “I don’t know what to do.” Tears filled my eyes when I added, “I don’t think I can go home.”
Jeff asked worriedly, “Why? Maybe it won’t be so bad.”
I shook my head and replied, “You didn’t see the look on my mother’s face.” Tracy gripped my hand tightly.
“You can go home with me tonight,” he volunteered.
I responded, “I can’t do that. That’s the first place she’s going to look.”
Jeff suggested, “Why don’t you stay here tonight? My parents won’t mind.”
I giggled and replied, “They’ll be harboring a fugitive.” I shrugged my shoulders and said, “I’ll be okay. I’ll find some place to stay.”
Jeff grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “You’re not going anywhere,” he insisted. “When Dad comes home, I’m going to talk to him. He’ll know what to do.”
“He’s right, Jack,” said Tracy as he held my other hand. “I’ve met Jeff’s dad. He’s pretty cool.”
Suddenly, I started to laugh. They looked at me like I was crazy. I held up our entwined hands and said, “This is pretty gay, the three of us holding hands.”
Tracy grinned, leaned towards me and said, “Gay this.” He then kissed me.
“Yeah,” laughed Jeff. “Gay this.” It surprised me when he leaned in and kissed me more passionately.
“Hey,” giggled Tracy. “What about me?” My eyes widened when they embraced and kissed.
“There,” smiled Jeff. “It’s sealed with a kiss. You’re staying here tonight.”
I looked at him and replied skeptically, “I don’t think this is a good idea.” Jeff giggled and kissed me again.