Nervous, strange, awkward, scary. That describes the idea of going out on that first date with somebody. And not just when you’re young and have never been on a date before…but it happens in adulthood too. Hehehe, what? Did you think that the love game was going to get easier as you get older? No, it doesn’t. It’s just as exhilarating and amazing as it was your first time out. We just have more tools to work with, and a slightly better understanding on what to do in these situations. That’s all.
But when you’re really interested in someone and want to take your shot at being with them…it’s just as scary as it was when you were a kid. And it brings life to you in a way that you never thought possible. It’s an AWESOME feeling! It really is! 🙂
So, the question is…what do you do on a first date? It doesn’t matter if you’re in your teens or your twenties, or in your 40’s or 50’s! What is your idea of a good ‘first date’ plan? How do you ask someone out when you like them so much and are basically trembling in their presence? Hehehe! Does it matter whether you know that they’re gay or not? Does that make things any easier, either way? What do you say? What activity do you plan to get involved in? It can’t be as easy as asking them to come over to your house and saying, “Let’s fuck”, right?
So…first dates! Give us your thoughts! Give us some details! You never know…there might be someone reading this who could use the advice!
“Like you I’ve never been good at this. But…
On the rare and I mean rare occasion that it happens, the movie route is by far and away the easiest. If nothing else it gives you a common ground to talk about after.
I wish it were me being the one asked out as that would be soooo much easier but I don’t give off a gay vibe so think that stops guys asking.
And I know this sounds weird but I’m so used to being on my own I’m not sure I’d have the patience for a relationship, although don’t tell my parents that as they are forever on at me to find someone!” – Dom
“Sampling some fresh donuts or splitting a sandwich from a deli are great ideas, if you’re into food. Surfing, boating, or hiking are good if you and your date are more “outdoors-y” and athletic. If you both like movies, you can schedule a marathon of favorites, and maybe prepare a menu of foods related to those movies. Nervous about talking to someone one-on-one? Make it a group date and go with a bunch of friends! Group dates are especially fun, because it gives you the chance to learn about the other person’s friends, too! Looking through a book shop or record store is great because you can share personal tastes about books or songs with each other. Or get creative and write some poems about each other. If you’re old enough to drink, try sampling whiskey or craft beers!
Even now that I’m married, my husband and I still try to schedule time for little “dates” together. We usually go for a walk on the beach, or do some shopping at the farmer’s market, or just sit next to a bonfire roasting hot dogs. We always try to find something that both of us will enjoy and connect over, bringing us closer together.” – Page Scrawler
“I’ll be totally honest here and say that I’ve never really been very good at the whole dating thing. That’s not to say that I haven’t been on dates before, but as far as initiating things, especially when it came to another boy…I always find myself being like a deer in headlights with that kind of thing.
What I will say, though…is that it has always been my experience that going out to a movie seems to be the best way to go when it comes to a first date. You see, movies are quiet for the most part. So you get together, or you meet up with someone there…and then you can find a seat, maybe spring for some popcorn or candy if you’ve got the extra cash for it (Or you guys can split it if you don’t), and then you find your seat and catch a decent flick together.
The reason I think this is better than a dinner or a lunch or whatever is because it cuts down on a lot of that awkward pressure to have a conversation. You have a little bit of that, sure, but there won’t be a ton of awkward silences or reasons for you to try to think up something to say. You talk and laugh a bit before the movie starts, and then watch the movie together while sharing some popcorn, and then when it’s over…you’ve already got the movie you just watched together in common. If it was an awesome movie, you have something to talk about. If it was an awful movie, you have something to laugh about. Hehehe! It’s a win/win situation, and you almost always leave on a high note. So that would be my advice for a first time date.
Then again, if you two already have something else in common or some other kind of shared interest…you can go do that instead. Go to Comicon, or a local bar, or a sporting event…whatever. Match wits with your date on a personal level. Money doesn’t matter. Looks don’t matter. Just be confident, witty, and maybe a little bit flirty.
I know that being subtle and romantic can seem like a lost art in this Tinder/Grindr, ‘swipe right’, generation…but if you can touch someone’s heart by appealing to their intellect and their very core…you’ll always be the most attractive person in the room. Always. K?
I’m currently writing a new story for Imagine Magazine called, “Tell Me How”, about this kind of thing. So I’d love to get some more input on the idea from you guys if you get a chance. After all, like I said, I’m pretty terrible on the whole ‘asking a cute boy out’ idea. LOL! If only I knew then what I know now, I might have gotten a lot more practice.” – Comicality
“This is probably going to sound like I haven’t thought it out, or I wouldn’t put much thought into it.
But my answer is that it would have to depend on what my date likes. The type of person he or she is. Are they introverted? Extroverted? Are they into bands? Movies? Food? Sights?
I’d base our date around something like that, but since it’s a first date it wouldn’t be too extravagant, just thoughtful enough to make it clear to them that I care about them.” – Mike
If you guys ever want to add your two cents to any one of the ‘Q & A’ sessions for future issues of Imagine Magazine, we’d LOVE to hear your input and your personal stories on the forum! Feel free to attach your screen name, or do so anonymously! Drop by “The Shack Out Back” forum on the 1st of every month for a brand new topic of conversation! We look forward to hearing more from you! 🙂