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Do you really think they don’t know?

It’s a question that I’ve banged my brain with for many years now, and my sense of self denial is constantly at war with my common sense concerning the idea of whether or not my mom knows that I’m attracted to the same sex.

In fact, I can go back and look through my high school yearbook right now, and I’d be like, “Yep! Him! And that boy too! And he was definitely gay!” Looking back on it, I can easily tell the boys and girls who shared a same sex attraction, even if we weren’t particularly close as friends at the time. It seems so obvious to me now. How can my parents who have known me from birth and caught m in almost every lie that I’ve ever told not know?

BUT…parents have their own sense of denial too. Maybe he hasn’t found the right girl yet. Or maybe he’ll grow into it. Or maybe he’s confused and will come out of this phase at some point. So it’s possible that you and your parents are stuck in some sort of denial libo where neither side is willing to say what needs to be said. Who knows?

But be honest with us here…do you really, in your heart of hearts, think that your parents or guardians don’t know? Even if your just curious. I’m not talking about finding you internet history or catching you kissing another boy by mistake. I’m talking natural instinct here. Do you think they know? And if they do…does that scare you? Or give you a moment of relief? Just wondering.

Let us know what you think when you get a chance. SPEAK UP!!! Stop being all shy and lazy. I really want to know. K? Tell us what you feel! Anonymous answers are more than welcome as always. I just want to share some wisdom with some of the youngsters that stop by the site and need help with stuff like this. Because they’re being suffocated in schools right now in terms of being taught anything about this stuff at all! And it makes me SICK! I want to help. And I want you to help me, help them. K?

::Fingers crossed:: Hopefully you guys will find some time to answer this one. :/

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“My mom does.

I don’t come here much. I’ve talked to Mr comicality. But i wanted to answer. Yes my parents know. I know they do. But we don’t talk about it. Not because I don’t want to. Because they don’t. I guess it could be worse. So I’ll take what I can get. So ok. That’s all I guess. That’s my answer.” – BopMark76

“Actually my parents didn’t have a clue until I told them.

Firstly I’m very “straight” acting or mannerisms. That said I also never gave them reason to question it. I have always been quite the loner… very rarely went to parties or hung out with people and certainly once I was in my teens never had friends stay over or visit really, male or female.

I also as Com knows keep my emotions very in check, which I admit has frustrated my folks on occasion as they couldn’t figure out how I was really feeling. I also never act on my first emotion or reaction, I give myself time to digest.

Apparently when I was really young I suddenly declared I didn’t want a birthday party one year and that was that!

So yeah non of my family had a clue, some still don’t know.
As my mum is fond of saying “It’s like trying to get blood from a stone when talking to you!” ;p” – Dom

“Maybe there might be a difference for parents, because they raise the child from birth, so any “hints” of sexuality could just be brushed aside as part of their child’s personality?

It depends what the “hints” might be. I think playing with dolls, dressing up in female clothes, and the other strongly associated stereotypes might be more noticeable than more subtle ones, like him not dating girls or that kind of thing. That could be simply dismissed as shyness or disinterest, etc.

I think my own mum suspected for a while. God knows what she thinks now. I think she thinks that if I were gay, I’d be out dating lots of guys. But I’ve chosen to live celibately since 2008.

We’re a liberal family so there’s no problem with me coming out, I still think it’s a big step though, and I will if I met the right person, which isn’t something I’m looking for, but it’s possible. :)” – Mike

“I think that I spend more time avoiding the whole topic than actually dealing with it. I mean…it was different when I was a teenager. My mom didn’t really expect me to be to be dating and getting laid in Junior High and High School (Although…I was DEFINITELY getting laid in Junior High and High School! LOL!), so it was no big deal. I don’t think there was any real suspicion concerning my sexuality until I didn’t want to go to prom. I think that might have been a bit of a red flag.

Then I went off to college, and she probably just figured that my college life wasn’t really something that I openly shared with anybody. But as time goes on, and my friends and cousins and stuff started to date more, get married, have kids…I mean, there’s no way that my mom doesn’t know at this point. But it’s become one of those things that she never asks and I never answer.

Nothing’s changed between us, of course. And if we sat down and actually had that conversation, face to face…I doubt that anything would. But it’s uncomfortable for me, you know? I doubt that will ever be a talk that we’ll have in this lifetime. But to think for one moment that she doesn’t know or would be shocked to hear it at this point would just be silly, in my opinion.

It’s something that I wish I didn’t have to think about at all. And I have friends who are completely straight and are still bachelors too. But I’m sure that she’s not completely clueless about the fact that I like guys.

Now…the whole ‘teen boy’ thing is…hehehe, no! We’re not having that discussion! Not ever! But I think we have a silent understanding of what’s going on here. And there’s a part of me that wishes that I could get married and give her a few grandchildren, etc…but for now, the love and support is there. And I’m thankful for that.” – Comicality

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If you guys ever want to add your two cents to any one of the ‘Q & A’ sessions for future issues of Imagine Magazine, we’d LOVE to hear your input and your personal stories on the forum! Feel free to attach your screen name, or do so anonymously! Drop by “The Shack Out Back” forum on the 1st of every month for a brand new topic of conversation! We look forward to hearing more from you! 🙂


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